Entries
Ozzy and Elvis -- The Bigger Medicine Cabinet
Auctions that have unusual items from Elvis and Ozzy.
Well, as a collector of music memorabilia, I'm always interested when stuff comes on the market. I laughed, though, when I heard about Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne selling furniture and art from their homes in Beverly Hills, Malibu, and England …
Adrenaline Junkies (full of hot air)
Fear of heights and dangerous hobbies discussed.
My friend and I have had a debate for years. Since we're both afraid of heights, he likes to say we have an "unreasonable fear". I say...it's very reasonable. I mean, I can go into a skyscraper and look out …
Being Bearded Bites
The concluding drama of life with my beard.
In the final series on my beard, I'm not going to talk about people like Osama, Hemmingway, and Lincoln -- that all had beards. I'm going to talk instead, about my heightened senses. My night vision increased dramatically. I could …
Josh Beard, Part II
The beard saga continues....
I walked over to grab a sandwich at Subway. And, unlike that Jared who lost weight walking there, my facial hair stayed put. I didn't lose a single strand. As I was walking in, a person handed me their change. …
Give me a Face with Hair.
I talk about what it's like growing a beard.
Since I've lost some weight, a few people have asked if I would write a story like the one that recently graced the cover of the Reader. Well, I told them I had a better idea. We've already seen the …
The Name Game
People that have normal names, with weird spellings.
I sent an email to my moms cousin Karyn. She was surprised I spelled her name correctly. It then reminded me of a party I wrote about years ago. The woman was dating a guy from MTVs Jackass. And, when …
Don't Taser Me, Bro!
Cops in the news using pepper spray and tasers.
So, the last few weeks, I've seen lots of cops tasering people and hitting them with pepper spray. And ya know what? I love it. I can't get enough of it. The most recent was yesterday. A 15-year-old girl. And, …
Shocked at Small Crowd
Review of Michelle Shocked CD and concert.
...at folky punk Michelle Shocked concert the other night. Other fans will be shocked that she released a gospel CD. Aside from a few popular covers (Billie Holiday, the Band), there’s a few covers of Sister Rosetta Tharpe. I went …
The Tip of the Iceberg
Tipping waitresses
Why is tipping such a weird thing for everyone? When I'm with a large group of friends and the bill comes, everyone chips in for what they bought. But not the tip or tax, and the bill is always short. …
Don't Quote Me
Using quotes and other punctuation
There's a grad student I read about that has a website devoted to people that use "unnecessary question marks" in writing. She has photos of things like a restaurant that has "lunch" and "dinner" with quotes like that. Not only …
Blue Balls in the Hospital
Competitiveness in sports, and heart attacks.
Someone needs to explain to me, human nature in regard to competitiveness. I just don't get it. I've been playing racquetball with a guy for 20 years. He has this subtle way of being competitive. For example, if he hits …
Waiter? There's a thumb in my soup.
The Carls Jr. commercial, Wendy's problems, and advertising.
Well, someone posted that the Carls Jr. commercial is still running. It is. But, if you notice carefully, the teacher has been edited out, which was the source of the complaints. Carls scored big. They got all kinds of press …
Blog on Blog Action
What I ate for lunch and dinner.
I was originally going to title this "Blog on Blog" to sound like Dylan's Blonde on Blonde LP. But, I thought the "action" sounded sexier. And as Nigel Tuffnel said in Spinal Tap "What's wrong with being sexy?" So, I …
A Delicious Stew (and the negro problem)
Musician Stew is praised.
Okay, before the letters come in, that is a band. They're from L.A. and called The Negro Problem. Their singer sometimes goes solo, with bassist/partner-in-crime, Heidi. His name is Stew. I didn't think I'd ever want to just write in …
Suge Knight in Shining Armour
Being angry about court cases.
Ha! I tricked you. I got you to read, thinking it's about that rap producer dude, when this is really a Phil Spector rant. Okay, well, Spector did make me appreciate Knight more. When Suge fought, it was with other …
The Lowe Down
Going to L.A. to see Nick Lowe, and how songwriters get rich.
So, my buddy Doug is trying to get me to go up to L.A. Tuesday to see Nick Lowe in concert. Who is he, you ask. Well, he had this great pop song in the late 70s called "Cruel to …
Reality Bites
A quick thought on reality shows
I used to make fun of all my friends that recorded their reality shows. Survivor, the few minutes I saw, was corny as hell; seeing who could stand the longest on a poll, and then putting out the flame. The …
Revenge is best served...like hot pizza
Columnists that suck, and getting revenge on people.
Sometimes it's painful reading other columnists in other cities newspapers. You wonder how they got the gig. My current favorite guy to hate, is this Gene Washington who took over for Dave Barry (who was great). He is funny about …
Vegas Without a Sting Operation
Curious about gambling problems
So, I'm heading to Vegas for the weekend. There's supposed to be a storm. That'll make traffic fun. A guy I play racquetball with, told me his ex-wife had a gambling problem. The woman he's dating now, started going to …
Controversial Carl's Commercial
Why some commercials get banned.
So, Carls Jr. pulled their commercial, where the kids in class do a rap about "flat buns" as an attractive teacher talks about the world being flat. A lot of teachers were upset. I'm not sure why. There are worse …