Almost factual images

Coming Soon to an Administration Near You

Who Plays Who: Local Election Edition

Who Plays Who: Local Election Edition

Who Plays Who: Local Election Edition

The old SONGS and dance routine

SDG&E brings in nuclear safety consultant to allay concerns over waste storage.

NO, NOT REALLY — Hi, everybody! My name is Homer Simpson, and I’m a nuclear safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in [REDACTED]. Don’t let the fact that I have yellow skin and ...

Putting Eostre Back in Easter

Traditionally Christian sunrise service at Balboa Park gives way to Vernal Equinox Fertility Ritual

NO, NOT REALLY — “Remember the fuss over the decision to change ‘Christmas on the Prado’ to ‘December Nights’?” asks Sandra Heathen-Druid. “All those people upset about taking Christ out of Christmas. But from the ...

A bridge (joke) too far

Padres threaten to end it all with new radio network over insensitive tweet

NO, NOT REALLY — Kevin Whine, the new host of 97.3’s “Mo-Sho” morning show, just wanted to make a good impression upon his arrival from San Francisco. “The City had just come out with this ...

Trump begins construction on Border Wall

"I'm a man of my word."

NO, NOT REALLY — On March 25, President Trump tweeted that “work will start immediately” on the Great Border Wall. Few people believed him, but fewer still could have predicted that later that same day, ...

San Diego's debt to Bob Filner

An almost factual review of 2017

[Walter Mencken stands at a podium in the basement conference room of Cheetahs Gentlemen’s Club in Kearny Mesa and addresses his audience, a group of men reclining at table.] Good evening, gentlemen! Well, men, anyway. ...

Breaking up is hard to do

At least the Charger Girls aren’t heading north also.

Alternative Facts [The scene: the basement of Our Lady of Sorrows church, Mission Valley. A circle of chairs. A despondent array of suffering souls.] Walter Mencken: Hello, everybody. Please sit down. Welcome to Walter Mencken’s ...

Happy Trumpsgiving!

Who wants some crow?

SCENE: The Mencken dining room, Thanksgiving. In attendance are host Walter Mencken, English novelist Evelyn Waugh, writer and critic H.L. Mencken, Pogo Possum, Roman emperor Claudius, writer and humorist James Thurber, writer and agitator Hunter ...

The Surreal McCoy’s final masterpiece?

The Eye is Deceitful Above All Things

Former Convadium Curator Wanker: “The loss to Miami featured four interceptions, including a pick-six with the score tied and a minute to play. Small wonder that McCoy, an artist and coach clearly in the throes ...

San Diego bishop addresses bulletin controversy

Demoncrats!

Shortly before Election Day, the bulletin at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Old Town featured a flyer that warned, “It is a mortal sin to vote Democrat,” and that souls that died in the state ...

Chargers Curator Wanker comments on The Surreal McCoy’s latest work

Soft Playcalling with Four Downs (Premonition of Thwarted Drive)

Wanker: “In a word, heartbreaking. McCoy has at long last ventured into the realm of self-portraiture here, but it’s hardly an occasion for celebration. This is the work of a man who feels he’s coming ...

Slacktivist protests police guidelines on theft prevention

Sloth-shaming?

According to the above flyer issued by the Chula Vista Police Department, “San Diego County’s top crimes are vehicle theft and vehicle burglary.” In Samantha Wilson’s estimation, that means “it’s safe to say that there’s ...