DJ Stevens

DJ Stevens

Articles by DJ Stevens

Cirque du Hipster

If you have to ask about the cool thing, then you're probably not sufficiently into it

Hipster: So, are there any notable hipster events held anywhere? Craft-beer festivals don’t count. Beard contests, obscure craft hobbies and art on display, booths with books of unheard-of authors, single-speed bike races? I think this ...

Wooing the ad-shy hipster

There is only one thing a Ferrari attracts: other dudes

Dear Hipster: What is the deal with advertising to hipsters? I would think that hipsters would be immune from marketing ploys, if for no other reason than hipsters wouldn’t want to purchase something so mainstream ...

The good old days that never were

The case for Howard the Duck and “Kyrie” is with the jury

Dear Hipster: I have been thinking about the popularity of retro stuff recently, at least from a pop-culture standpoint. To me, it seems like people remember the past as distinctly better than it actually was. ...

A blunderbuss-load of errata

No query too obtuse, no question too droll, no answer too useless

Nothing warms my heart in the dead of winter more than the random questions y’all propound upon me throughout the year. I refuse to believe you’re just messing with me. Instead, I think of this ...

The tortuous relationship between hipsters and stick-and-ball sports

The hipster goes through between one and five stages of sports appreciation, always in the same order

Hey Mr. Hipster Dude! With the passing of another Super Bowl of Crap, do hipsters actually pay any attention to all the sports crap that’s going on? If they do, WHY? I usually ride my ...

Where it's always 1997

Full House reruns 24 hours a day

Dear Hipster: Why can I not divide by zero? I feel like there’s some Illuminati conspiracy to cover up the truth. — Z. Math has nothing to do with it. As anyone with an ounce ...

Talk of the occasional guava pastry leads to a physics lesson

Ironic heat death of the hipsterverse caused by a gradual loss of potential coolness

Dear Hipster: Why is there never any parking near hipster coffee shops (especially ones that contain guava pastries)? — Janelle Khaleesi There’s a simple answer and a hard answer. I’ll give you the easy one ...

Get stabbed by a guy named Nekro Klown

Or die at Thunder Nationals

Dear Hipster: Would you rather attend the Gathering of the Juggalos or the Thunder Nationals monster-truck competition? I don’t actually care, but I admit to some curiosity. — Deb Oh. Wow. Tough choice. On the ...

Withdrawing in disgust is not the same thing as apathy

Hating generates false camaraderie

Dear Hipmeister, In a recent answer to a question about increasing automobile size, you wrote, “It’s like a big middle finger to hipsters everywhere, which, naturally, people love.” That brought two questions to mind. One, ...

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