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22 shades of hipsterness

No bags, please, just put it in my bicycle panniers

Hipster: People all over town are giving away their hipsterness (or lack thereof) in front of local grocery stores! Since those little plastic bags were banned in California, I’ve noticed that shoppers differ widely in ...

What's with all the heavy metal distinctions?

Sad White People + Occasional Clapping

Dear DJ: On an episode of Seinfeld, Elaine called Kramer a hipster dufus. Sure, Kramer was a doofus, but was he a hipster doofus? Did they have hipsters in the early ’90s? — RJ Narlian ...

The San Diego hipster constantly threatens to move to Portland but doesn’t

The Portland hipster keeps threatening to move to Detroit/Baltimore/Tallahassee.

Dear Hipster: I think you can probably guess where this is going, but, how about the difference, if any, between San Diego hipsters and Portland hipsters. — Janelle Portland hipsters have acquired some legendary statues ...

The gulf between San Diego and Austin hipsters yawns deep

On the odium toward sellouts

Dear Hipster: Okay. How about the difference between San Diego hipsters and hipsters from, say, Austin, Texas? — Janelle To the uneducated eye, a local hipster may be indistinguishable from a far-flung Texan cool kid. ...

Proven hipster business models

Accept that, unless you are actively selling, you are being bought

Dear Hipster: I have been wondering, what’s the best way for me to get rich quick without having to do too much work? I know, that sounds a little sarcastic, but I’m serious. Surely there ...

There have always been hipsters

Odds are even they’ll survive the apocalypse(s)

Dear Hipster: Will there always be hipsters? If so, why? If not, why, and what will come after? — Daisy In one sense, hipsters have been around in one form or another since just about ...

Not exactly L.A. versus San Diego

The San Diego hipster isn’t ashamed to be a lifetime bartender.

Dear Hipster: What’s the difference (if there is one) between an L.A. hipster and a San Diego hipster? — Janelle Picture two hipsters with rhyming names, Alysyn from L.A., fresh from riding the gentrification wave ...

A burrito is many things, but ... a sandwich?

The best thing you ever ate at 4:17 a.m.

Dear Hipster: Is a burrito a sandwich? — Gary Why you must ask me such things as lie beyond my sphere of expertise, I shall never know. Is a bicycle a vehicle? Is a chihuahua ...

The hipster was inside you the whole time

Seven solutions

Dear Hipster: You’re in a lightless, windowless, doorless room with four pills; two red, two blue. Take one of each, and you will attain hipster immortality. Everything cool will be old news to you before ...

Things hipsters ought to like, but don't

Dennistown is a bit too obscure

Hi, DJ Stevens: Are you a real DJ or are those your initials? — PM (initials) I wouldn’t say I’m not a DJ. Calvin Harris has been biting my style for years. He knows I ...

Don’t expect a taxpayer-subsidized Trump Phone

They aren’t special in any regard anyway

Dear Hipster: Are Obama Phones still called Obama Phones, or are they now Trump phones? And I must also ask, is any kind of free phone something a true Hipster would carry? I mean, what ...

What is hip?

Answer correctly for a chance to win swag — no Googling!

Dear Hipster, I became a part of the new breed. I’ve been smoking only the best weed and hanging out with the so-called hippest set. I’ve been seen in all the right places, and with ...

But ’70s surfers didn’t wear skinny jeans

They say everybody sells out eventually

I’ve decided to do the sensible thing by breaking down this message, clause by clause (the letter writer’s query in italics), to tease out the subtleties. After all, we’re not so different, he and I. ...

The snootiest coffee and the hoppiest beer are equals

Embrace the hipness

Dear Hipster, Is there an aspect of hipster culture — be it as simple as footwear or as complex as existential philosophy — that you reject? — B. Butterbur Negative. I am all that is ...

Daylight Saving Time: Deal with it

Indispensible to some, vexatious to many, and more or less inextricable

Here’s a question I’ve been asking my entire life, and I’ve never gotten an answer that sounded logical: why do we have Daylight Saving Time? Probably the only response I’ve ever gotten that sounded right ...

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