Ask a Hipster

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Omit the 21st century

Best albums for us

Dear Hipster: Top five desert-island album choices? — Hannah (listening to My Bloody Valentine in Talmadge) I’ve been sitting on this one for a while now, not afraid per se, but reticent to meet this ...

Hook me up to Cap'n Crunch

One food every day for the rest of my life

Dear Hipster: If you had to eat one food every day for the rest of your life, what would it be? — Dan Apparently I’m being forced, most likely at gunpoint or other annihilatory threat, ...

The line between genius and stereotype is just so thin

And a hipster bucket list is a contradiction in terms.

Dear Hipster: What’s the most hipster thing you have done recently? What’s the most hipster thing you have ever done? What’s the most hipster thing you can possibly conceive of doing but have not yet ...

The truth behind mustaches and charity

Weather the criticisms of your friends, buy the drinks

Dear Hipster:My friends and I agreed that we would all participate in Movember this year, each fully committed to grow his bushiest mustache. As a somewhat hirsute gentleman, my mustache has grown well and rapidly, ...

“It’s, like, you know, like....” — maybe this stuttering will disappear

No one predicted the Spanish Inquisition, or neo-swing in the late 1990s

Dear Hipster: A 35-ish man three tables down is talking a great deal to his two table mates. He begins every, and I mean every, sentence with “It’s, like, you know, like....” He repeats the ...

Fake it till you make it

It’s not like life hands out certificates.

Dear Hipster: I like to think of myself as an expert on certain topics. For example, I know more about DC wiring than most electricians, at least, the ones who primarily do residential AC work. ...

Don't confuse hipsters with Hells Angels

The two are very different things

Hey DJ: Yesterday my girls — 8 and 10 — asked me, “What is a hipster?” I was unable to provide a description they could connect with, as they have no historical framework. They don’t ...

Animals do amazing things; people take selfies

They catch salmon, run 40 miles an hour

Dear Hipster: Why can only animals do amazing things, like catch salmon out of the water with their bear hands, fly, run 40 miles per hour on short little legs, smell the ghost of a ...

The world of the tabletop gamer is too intense

Warhammer 40K is not for the dabbler

Dear Hipster: I guess this is a sort of follow-up to your recent commentary on board-gaming, but I want to know where classic tabletop gaming fits into the mix. I’ve been a Warhammer 40K player ...

Glitzy nostalgia porn

That's why Marvel and not DC

Dear Hipster: So, we have Marvel movies and DC movies, both killing it at the box office these days. November will see Justice League and Ragnarok in cinemas at the same time. What I, and ...

Salt Bae, the Eclipse, IT, Cuphead, the Mooch — look for them Halloween

2017 superstars — even if you hated them

Dear Hipster: What are your top selections for Halloween costumes this year? — Sandy It’s once again time to celebrate that greatest of all hipster traditions: elaborate, ironic, pop culturally relevant Halloween costumes! Salt Bae ...

Neither sonnets nor haiku

Limericks showcase your cleverness and irreverence

Dear Hipster, Do you agree with my belief that haiku ought to be the poem of choice in the hipster community? They are simple yet crafty, and the principle of kireji — a sort of ...

I have never met a real life Dave Matthews fan

Some questions shouldn’t be answered

Dear Hipster: Who would win in a fight, Rick Sanchez or Scrooge McDuck? — Allen Some questions just can’t be answered, Allen. You might as well ask: Why is Germany the only country where the ...

The struggle of 50 hours at the office

Make that avocado toast in the day-job lunchroom

Dear Hipster: Is it possible to hold down a 9-to-5 professional career, say, as an accountant with a major international financial services firm, but still be a hipster? — Andy Of course. Nothing’s impossible in ...

Hipster-millennial overlap

Those people who name their children Patterson, Admiral, Dillinger

Dear Hipster: Well, I got a sell-out day-job again — having graduated from occupying reclaimed wood seats in North Park avocado toast & fair trade dens of day-time slack — but I just can’t stop ...

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