Pizza for breakfast? Gimme a break. And yet…here it sits, before my very eyes. I stand gawping, Sunday mawnin’, bleary-eyed, even now, around 11. I’ve gotten off the Blue Line trolley at this new stop …
July 9, 2008
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Stories by Ed Bedford
Wake-Up Pizza
Reunion Recipes
Ahhh... Slurp, burp, slurp again. Pinky finger raised, of course. I clink my cawfee cup down in its saucer. Sitting like a captain of industry here at the corner of Ash and India. Behind yellow …
July 2, 2008
History and a Side Salad
Boy, this is straight out of The Jungle Book. A ginormous fig tree spreads over me. I have to tilt my head back to look for the giant snake Kaa, just in case he’s wrapped …
June 25, 2008
Ruthless Sandwich
It’s an amazing feeling, sitting up to a bar watching the Padres on a bunch of great screens, including one that’s 12 feet, while the actual Padres are playing in the actual ballpark about, oh, …
June 18, 2008
Happiness, Ocean, and Kebabs
Baktiar has surely found the sweet spot. This is where folks wandering down Fourth start running out of steam. They can’t see anything ahead except the bricky Horton Grand Hotel. They hesitate and, most of …
June 11, 2008
The Counter of Monte Cristo
‘The problem with La Jolla,” says Siamak, “is that its people are not experienced in sociability. It is a wonderful town, but it is very conservative. The locals don’t socialize.” Derissi strokes his beard and …
The Vanishing Cafe
Hey! What’s up? Wass goin’ on? Was it something I said? A moment ago, I was sitting in the middle of a sidewalk café, surrounded by tables, chairs, a canopied counter. Now, the whole thing …
May 28, 2008
Guadalajara, Basically
Editor's note: As of 2010, this restaurant is closed. Love? This could be it. The question hits me mid-bite into my second-ever quesotaco. It’s a scrunch of crispy grilled cheese over little chunks of steak …
May 21, 2008
Burgers and Carousels
Hank had been on about this for the longest time. He’s a carpenter and wannabe carver, and he reckons the carving of the horses in the carousel at Seaport Village is the best. In the …
May 14, 2008
They Loved Him in Basra
Najem Al Ekabi sits beneath the forest of red, white, and black Iraqi flags. He’s intent on a video on his laptop. “Look, see?” he says. “The one on the left. That’s me. Winning the …
Hideaway Too Hidden
Clock’s ticking toward midnight down here in the deepest Stingaree. I’m heading for Ciro’s, the pizzeria. Why? Because I’ve spent the last couple hours holding up the beautiful old (1885!) Tivoli bar, listening to a …
April 30, 2008
Breakfast with a Side of Fun
“I’ve got troubles,” I say. I’m trying to explain why I’m half an hour late. “Trolley security. Hauled me off the damned train. Lemon Grove. Must have been 20 of them swarming on board. The …
Carla Plans a Party
“Sweetheart?” coos Carla. “Honey? My heart? Mi corazón?” When Carla slips into Spanish and uses “th” for the z, something’s up. “Uh-huh?” “Call from my brother. He’s launching his book here. That academic book? He’s …
April 16, 2008
Playing Chicken
‘I.B.” “O.B.” “I.B.!” “O.B.!!” “OK. How’s about Oceanside?” “I tell you, man,” says Hank. “Nothing beats O.B.” We’re ambling west down Newport, arguing, as per usual. Size, of course. Like, who has the longest pier. …
April 16, 2008
Pig-Out on Campus
‘See? Skin on the ends. Never, in Fronce.” That’s how Eric says it, of course. “Fronce.” He’s French. He’s pointing to his French fry. It does have patches of skin at either end. Actually, I …
April 9, 2008
Life Is Good
Help me out here. Why is the state of Virginia called a commonwealth? And who was Virginia? And, oh yeah. Do Virginians make crazy omelets like this, with two hamburger patties and a bunch of …
April 2, 2008
Killer Kabobs
The vapors, the vapors. Oh, man. Me thinketh I shall swoon. Unlike Bill Clinton, I inhale deeply. Rose aromas? Cardamom? Honey? It sits steaming under my schnozz here at the granite-top counter as I wait …
March 26, 2008
Dank and Shivery
This restaurant is closed. “We’re opportunivores,” says Brian. “No,” says Jake. “We’re freegans. Like vegans, but only when it’s free.” Everybody’s sitting around two tables here inside Roots, chatting to stop the teeth from chattering. …
March 19, 2008
Under the Sailfish
“I bit my arm, I sucked the blood/ And cried ‘A sail! A sail!’ ” I swear, that’s how I feel right now. Like Ye Ancient Mariner. Been cruising Imperial looking for that ceviche place …
March 12, 2008
The Corporate O
Could this be it? Cue music: “This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius…” I mean, if I was looking for a sign, this sign has to be it. “Organic to Go,” right here …
March 5, 2008
Willy's Tip
Aha. There he is. Right down the pasaje. Willy Clauson. He’s sitting under a way-big vaquero hat, smoking a cigar and playing his guitar in front of his museum. Song’s “Adelita,” about the Mexican Revolutionary …
Before Tamed Fire
“In case I haven’t mentioned it lately,” says Debbie the bus driver through her microphone, “I love my passengers. Yee-haw!” Hey, it’s okay. This is the 35, the O.B. bus. People are allowed to be …
February 20, 2008
Tell Me about the Cheese Sauce
History in Chula Vista? You betcha. Like, the other day I came across a couple of geezers outside an eatery, yakkin’ away like there was no tomorrow. Seems they’d just met up again after half …
February 13, 2008
Boa Constrictor Flex-Gut
Guys asleep on the sidewalk. Guys shuffling past with walking sticks. Guys pushing shopping carts filled with their belongings. Guys rolling by in electric scooters with whiplash aerials and a faded Old Glory flicking at …
February 6, 2008
Anyone Can Dance
“I tell you, man, they were dancing.” “Dancing in a pizza place? Yeah, right. The pizzicato waltz?” Hank swears he saw it, last night, through the window in the eatery behind the Shell gas station …
San Diego County and Tijuana guide to tacos
Fancy wimmen are okay, but there's nuttin' like the real thing: a nice warm adobada taco on a nice cold night beside a nice hot grill outside a friendly taco catering truck, with that marinated …
January 23, 2008
Delicate Gut-Liner
It’s morning. Feeling lousy. No, wasn’t grog last night. Toothache. Normally, I never take pills. But Carla persuaded me. Took an antibiotic. Gripped my gut like a vice. This mawnin’, still recovering. Weaving gingerly through …
January 16, 2008
Organic Heaven
Gotta be careful here. To say something’s the best. But…oh, to heck with it. This is the best freakin’ sandwich I can remember munching, okay? It’s enough to make a vegan out of me. I’m …
January 9, 2008
Pepe's Place
“When I was courting my wife, I’d turn up outside her home with ten mariachis.”
Yes, Nuttyish
"You want us to become sheep again? There's a reason they're stupid!"
December 27, 2007
Much Ado About Mutton
"Baa-becue, buddy, baa-becue. People flock to the joint. That's what I herd."
December 20, 2007
Can't Nobody Lick Us
"Say hi to Mr. Frog. I'm a self-taught cabdriver and puppeteer and Clown."
December 6, 2007
Burger Creativity
"We never got to go to McDonald's. Sometimes we were pretty hungry."
November 21, 2007
High-Class Grub
"Lamby joes. No question. You get two. They're so tasty. Shall we go for that?"
November 15, 2007
Stuffed
"Jahja Ling's always in. And the mayor, he sits here, at table number two."
November 8, 2007
On the Line
"They've been fighting fires all day. What da heck have we done?"
Tiger Woods, Baby
"Comes down for paintball war games with his buddies at the military range. I cooked his burger."
The Uphill Salad
"There's a Milan style of living. Quick. We want everything yesterday."
October 18, 2007
Thais That Bind
She's holding on to his little tusks with both hands. She nuzzles her face right into his trunk, between his eyes. You can tell they're in love. The picture of the shaved-head girl monk and …
Fred Is the Bomb
"About one in 15 actually chomp their way through the whole thing."
October 4, 2007
Holy Mole
Sammy Sosa leans over confidentially. "It was a special treat for the king. For the Aztec king. Ordinary people couldn't eat it." I look at the black morass on my plate. I almost expect him …
September 13, 2007
Sonora Style
"I'm vegetarian, so I always find it hard to have interesting quesadillas or tacos."
August 30, 2007
Kebob Invasion
"It's like soccer - Everywhere in the world except the U.S. So I'm bringing it here."
August 23, 2007
23 Reader writers describe the regime of editor Judith Moore
Busy Fingers Are Happy Fingers — Joe Deegan Mother Reader — Barbarella Build Your Writing Muscles — Ollie Let the Tape Recorder Do the Work — Matthew Lickona Faith — Abe Opincar Make Something Better …
August 16, 2007