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Stories by DJ Stevens

The new James Bond

Dear Hipster: What the heck? When will the hipsterfication end? I check my phone first thing this morning, and what do I get on the news feed? The new James Bond is going to be ...

July 24, 2019
Luxurious Charms

Dear Hipster: My friends and I were having a very tipsy Fourth of July this year, drinking and playing lawn games as one does on a midweek summer holiday. And, as people tend to do ...

July 17, 2019
Sex on the Beach, Pousse-cafe, and other incongruous beverages

Dear Hipster: A while ago, I went to a bar that has a reputation for divey-ness. I won’t say which one, because I get the sense that would be unhip, but suffice to say the ...

July 10, 2019
No point of market saturation for housing or craft beer bars

Dear Hipster: I’m no economist, but I think I have learned a thing or two about markets merely by watching the world around me. For instance, I was not surprised to hear housing prices have ...

July 3, 2019
David Bowie? Too soon. Tupac? Too soon. Buddy Holly? Still too soon.

Dear Hipster: In the world of perpetual hipster irony, what, if anything, is sacred anymore? — Dave B. You might be forgiven for thinking that our cultural moment, which in its time has boasted such ...

June 25, 2019
Founding a new nation like Sealand

Dear Hipster: You’re probably too young to remember Sealand. Back in the late Sixties and early Seventies, these kooks had seized an old oil rig (or something to that effect) off the coast of England, ...

June 19, 2019
Mitigating climate change with more than #NODAPL protests

Dear Hipster: How do we make mitigating climate change hip in the sense of people actually doing something about it? Yeah, they may post a few things on Insta or RT, but how do we ...

June 12, 2019
The inexplicable reason people keep eating at the Cheesecake Factory

Dear Hipster: Is it ever the case that somebody might want to impersonate a hipster? If so, why? — Darren One might think, given the general opprobrium towards hipsterkind on behalf of the general public, ...

June 5, 2019
Enthusiastically endorsing Drumstick ice cream breakfast cereal

Dear Hipster: I get how things normally work. Hipsters are into hipster stuff before it’s cool, then, after the hipster stuff attains mainstream popularity, hipsters are “over it” because it’s too mainstream. That’s old news ...

May 29, 2019
Is old school cooler than modern when discussing 8-tracks, laserdiscs and Betamax tapes?

Dear Hipster: If old-school is cooler than modern, and if obscure is cooler than common, then why aren’t hipsters stockpiling 8-tracks, laserdiscs, and Betamax tapes? I would think these various media, so much more obscure ...

May 22, 2019
“Hey, Mexican Cavalier with US plates. Neat!”

Dear Hipster: So, I was reading the letter from the guy who apparently read a seventeen year old Reader article about buying cars in Mexico, went to TJ to get himself a 2019 Cavalier, and ...

May 15, 2019
The Indiana Jones of the local Salvation Army

Dear Hipster: As a second (but not third) generation fashion iconoclast — though I do have a great-grandparent who made distinctly eccentric sartorial choices in his day — I feel welling up in me a ...

May 8, 2019
Instagram cat influencer or guest spot on Ellen as a parrot who can sing renditions of Beyoncé songs in Spanglish?

Hey Hipster: Would it be better to get reincarnated as a cat who’s famous on Instagram or a parrot who gets to be on Ellen (but only for one day) because it learns how to ...

May 1, 2019
Colonel Sanders as a Coachella-bound influencer?

Dear Hipster: What the heck do I have to do to become a multi-millionaire hipster Instagram influencer with lucrative contracts from big companies? I want free hotel stays, toys for my kids, treats for my ...

April 24, 2019
Is Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” a country song?

Dear Hipster: Is “Old Town Road” a country song or not? WTF?! — D., Normal Heights At least a couple of times a year, somebody sends me what looks like a throwaway question, little more ...

April 17, 2019
Ferdinand de Saussure’s semiotics filtered through a few generations of abstract thought

Dear Hipster: I have a meta-question for you this week. It seems to me that you receive a tremendous number of messages along the lines of “is such and such a thing hipster or not ...

April 10, 2019
Rick and Morty space-time conundrum

Dear Hipster: What would be the ideal, alternate universe in which a hipster such as yourself might be trapped after falling through a tear in the space-time continuum? Before you answer, I have some ground ...

April 3, 2019
What’s a sixer of Tecate worth? Engelbert Humperdinck Christmas album?

Dear Hipster: I own a moderately beat pickup truck, which I do not really drive all that much on account of not wanting to pay for the gas. I call her Delores, and, before anyone ...

March 27, 2019
Which came first in the MIT Technology Review?

Dear Hipster: I’m sure you’ve heard of the old mimesis v. anti-mimesis imponderable, i.e. does life imitate art, or does art imitate life? It’s the kind of thing one could go back and forth on ...

March 20, 2019
Curling sport fandom: Ironic or genuine appreciation?

Hipster: My daughter laughed at me when I said I didn’t like to watch curling because everyone else seemed to be into it. Whenever it’s on TV, the announcers always have to explain the rules ...

March 13, 2019
Did Fox News call Kamala Harris a poser?

Dear Hipster: Do we put 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful and current California Senator Kamala Harris in the hipster hall of fame for apparently having been into both Snoop Dogg and Tupac before either rapper had ...

February 27, 2019
Wasting my life away reading McSweeney’s and the San Diego Reader

Dear Hipster: For about a two weeks now, I have found myself lying asleep at night, staring up at the ceiling, watching the fan twirl around, listening to the night noises, and pondering the universe. ...

February 20, 2019
Original innovation or moustache imitation?

Dear Hipster: Sometimes I get confused about whether it’s more hipster to be an innovator or a clever imitator. On the one hand, it seems to me as if the most hipster thing you can ...

February 13, 2019
Target and Urban Outfitters: out on the bleeding edge of culture

Hipster: Are places like Target and Urban Outfitters bona fide hipster destinations or a mass marketed version thereof? — David Much of the outcome here depends on your personal definition of hipster. If you think ...

February 6, 2019
Hep to the jive

Dear Hipster: Growing up we used the term hep instead of hip, as in I’m hep, a real hep cat, or hep to the jive. So, shouldn’t it be Hepster? Asking for a very hep ...

January 30, 2019
The cachet of clever

Hipster: Usually, I feel like YouTube gets me pretty well, recommends the right videos and whatnot, but every now and again I see some unsolicited, random video about things I don’t care about. The other ...

January 23, 2019
The overpowering nature of ketchup

Dear Hipster: I was visiting people in Chicago over the holiday season. As you may well know, Chicago has a rich tradition of eating hot dogs, and I saw “no ketchup” signs at each and ...

January 16, 2019
Cheeky imponderables

Let’s get the New Year rolling with some cheeky imponderables, shall we? Dear Hipster: What is the difference between cashing in and selling out? — Dan It’s like the difference between making your dreams a ...

January 9, 2019
What our dear friends in Corporate America know

Dear Hipster, Going into 2019, I’m contemplating a change of perspective. Throughout my life, I have tended to take a “close enough for rock and roll” attitude towards a lot of stuff because life is ...

January 2, 2019
Crossing an invisible line

Dear Hipster: Although you’ve always made it abundantly clear there is no one-size-fits-all definition of hipster, we can all agree that hipsters are largely identified by what they do, whatever that may be. Some magic ...

December 26, 2018
Meta-catster!

Hey D.J. Check out this picture I found of “Catster.” I guess that’s like a “Hip-Cat!” So, if this were in the Reader, I guess it would be like asking the question, “If there are ...

December 19, 2018
It’s a trap

Dear Hipster: What would you say if you were walking downtown and you saw a pink poster in the window of an apartment complex advertising “Hip Apartments for Lease” alongside another pink poster of a ...

December 12, 2018
The perfect catch-all holiday

Dear Hipster: With the so-called Holiday Season fully upon us, one cannot engage in the world without fielding a barrage of “Happy Holidays!” and other such seasonal well-wishes. As if it weren’t enough to be ...

December 5, 2018
The Mac Davis Rule

Dear Hipster: At this point in my life, I have friends in their twenties, thirties, forties, and even fifties. Usually, I don’t think too much about the potential generation gaps that separate us. After all, ...

November 28, 2018
Delightfully improbable scenario

Dear Hipster: If it snowed in San Diego this winter (I mean, in the city proper, not up in the mountains) do you think local hipsters would be into it, or would their immunity to ...

November 22, 2018
A chorus of hearty mehs

Dear Hipster: If pies can be ranked in order of hipness, then what else goes appropriately on the hipster Thanksgiving table? — Karen The key to any good hipster Thanksgiving table is balance — balance ...

November 14, 2018
Virtuous behavior through humblebrag

Dear Hipster: I don’t agree with Corn Dog Guy (or Girl) that hipsters = yuppies. In fact, I’m not even sure there are yuppies anymore. When I think of “yuppies,” I think of a whole ...

November 7, 2018
Australians being hilariously Australian

Dear Hipster: I saw a video the other day on the Australian National Geographic website, of all places, about how the Oxford English Dictionary gives the etymology of hipsters as having something to do with ...

October 31, 2018
A penchant for all things random

Dear Hipster: I was chilling at a brewery with a couple friends the other night, and I inadvertently eavesdropped on a couple hipsters who were drunkenly bellowing behind me about some shenanigans one of them ...

October 24, 2018
A cruel, gentrifying hybrid called... Corn Dog

Dear Hipster: I think the concept of hipster has changed so much throughout the past 25 years that I don’t even consider hipsters Hipsters anymore. I consider them to be...yuppies. Am I wrong to think ...

October 17, 2018
Ripe for holiday mockery

Dear Hipster: Every damn year, Halloween comes around and I realize I’ve got a party on Saturday...and it’s Thursday...and I don’t have a costume, or even an idea. I swear, this year I’m going to ...

October 10, 2018
Blind pet diagnosis: the truth lies somewhere in the middle

Dear Hipster: I have a 13-year-old Italian Greyhound rescue, Turbo, who I just discovered is almost totally blind. Italian Greyhounds are sighthounds. Does Turbo’s sightlessness make him an ironic, hipster sighthound? Should he move to ...

October 3, 2018
A perverse tribute to a true dive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrpTDaSjfaM

September 26, 2018
This burnt ochre-colored craving

This burnt ochre-colored craving

September 19, 2018
Life expectancy

Life expectancy

September 5, 2018
A generation of industrious professionals

A generation of industrious professionals

August 29, 2018
Hipster superpower

Dear Hipster: Would it be hipster to refer to “an hipster,” as opposed to “a hipster,” or would it be pretentious? — An Enquirer I think it’s only pretentious if you say “an hipster” when ...

August 22, 2018
The difference matters

Dear Hipster: You write often of the quirks and idiosyncrasies that differentiate hipsters from what I will call, for lack of a better word, the bourgeoisie. I want to hear about the inverse principle. Namely, ...

August 15, 2018
How to avoid hipsters

Dear Hipster: I’ve noticed the way this column often provides helpful (dare I say “invaluable”?) advice on how to distinguish various varieties of hipster from each other, on where to find hipsters, and on why ...

August 8, 2018
Where San Diego hipsterness begins

Dear Hipster: What is the most San Diego-specific hipster thing you could do? — Kyle On balance, our local hipsters are much the same as hipsters in any other urban locale worthy of an Eater ...

August 1, 2018

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