Photograph by Maryna Andriichenko
Delicious, well-deserved elitism.
Rose (rosé?) wine: hipster, trendy, or merely pretentious?
There are exactly two mainstream wine drinking positions that account for something like 98 percent of the people you will find raising a glass of vino to their lips. You have the people who say, “Oh, I just don’t ‘do’ white wine,” and then there are the people who won’t drink “red” wine. The remaining 2 percent of wine drinkers comprehend the superficiality of these positions, and those people, coincidentally, are exactly the kind of people who also drink rosé. There may be a bit of pretentiousness wrapped up in that, but there’s also a good deal of well-deserved elitism. Moreover, although I’m no wine savant, from what I understand, rosé is having kind of a moment right now. At least, that is to say it’s having as much of a moment as rosé wine ever has. With those three considerations in place, I can safely answer your question with a nonspecific “yes.”
What is de rigeur for hipster skateboarding in 2020: longboard; penny board; standard board; banana board; or no board, relying upon cycling or walking instead? There has to be a right answer for this.
— Progressive Guru
You have a taxonomic issue here, because your question implicates two potential categories of human/skateboard relationships. The first category would be skateboard hipsters, i.e. legit skaters who are super hipster about skater gear and culture. The second category would be hipster skateboards, which is just skateboards for garden variety hipsters.
The first category comprises a narrow subset of skaters who emulate Z-Boys with ultra-old-school, sliding skate styles, complete with long hair and (sometimes) frayed jorts. Really, any kind of skateboard will do for these skateboard hipsters, but this kind of attitude comes with a necessary ration of geekiness, so they prefer boards built to emulate the deks of the 1970s. These are the kind of skaters who like to talk about seeking out the “soul” of skating. They are roughly equivalent to the surf hipsters who ride longboards and draw the constant, irrepressible ire of mainstream surfers. They are weird mysteries, and, although they can usually shred just as hard as anyone else, they choose not to for reasons known only to them.
Garden variety hipsters split about 80/20 between “no skateboards,” because skateboards are for irritating kids jamming down crowded sidewalks at walking pace, but without control; and between penny/banana boards because enough other people are doing it that it seems like a good idea. As you might expect, they have about as much connection to skating as the average citizen has to motorsports and high-performance driving from behind the wheel of whatever fungible crossover hybrid SUV he or she overpaid for in order to avoid buying a more useful vehicle.
Just for thoroughness, I will add that you usually see two types of people on longboards: weirdly extreme downhill racer types, and stoned bros on their way to a disc golf course. Regular skateboards remain pretty much exclusively the province of actual skateboarders, with a tiny minority of young people who impulse-purchased a skateboard that will soon be exiled to the basement when the new owner discovers (a) skating is hard; and (b) members of the opposite sex are almost never impressed by it.