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Rosé drinking positions

A bit of pretentiousness with a good deal of well-deserved elitism

Delicious, well-deserved elitism.
Delicious, well-deserved elitism.

Dear Hipster:

Rose (rosé?) wine: hipster, trendy, or merely pretentious?

— Kate

There are exactly two mainstream wine drinking positions that account for something like 98 percent of the people you will find raising a glass of vino to their lips. You have the people who say, “Oh, I just don’t ‘do’ white wine,” and then there are the people who won’t drink “red” wine. The remaining 2 percent of wine drinkers comprehend the superficiality of these positions, and those people, coincidentally, are exactly the kind of people who also drink rosé. There may be a bit of pretentiousness wrapped up in that, but there’s also a good deal of well-deserved elitism. Moreover, although I’m no wine savant, from what I understand, rosé is having kind of a moment right now. At least, that is to say it’s having as much of a moment as rosé wine ever has. With those three considerations in place, I can safely answer your question with a nonspecific “yes.”

Dear Hipster:

What is de rigeur for hipster skateboarding in 2020: longboard; penny board; standard board; banana board; or no board, relying upon cycling or walking instead? There has to be a right answer for this.

— Progressive Guru

You have a taxonomic issue here, because your question implicates two potential categories of human/skateboard relationships. The first category would be skateboard hipsters, i.e. legit skaters who are super hipster about skater gear and culture. The second category would be hipster skateboards, which is just skateboards for garden variety hipsters.

The first category comprises a narrow subset of skaters who emulate Z-Boys with ultra-old-school, sliding skate styles, complete with long hair and (sometimes) frayed jorts. Really, any kind of skateboard will do for these skateboard hipsters, but this kind of attitude comes with a necessary ration of geekiness, so they prefer boards built to emulate the deks of the 1970s. These are the kind of skaters who like to talk about seeking out the “soul” of skating. They are roughly equivalent to the surf hipsters who ride longboards and draw the constant, irrepressible ire of mainstream surfers. They are weird mysteries, and, although they can usually shred just as hard as anyone else, they choose not to for reasons known only to them.

Garden variety hipsters split about 80/20 between “no skateboards,” because skateboards are for irritating kids jamming down crowded sidewalks at walking pace, but without control; and between penny/banana boards because enough other people are doing it that it seems like a good idea. As you might expect, they have about as much connection to skating as the average citizen has to motorsports and high-performance driving from behind the wheel of whatever fungible crossover hybrid SUV he or she overpaid for in order to avoid buying a more useful vehicle.

Just for thoroughness, I will add that you usually see two types of people on longboards: weirdly extreme downhill racer types, and stoned bros on their way to a disc golf course. Regular skateboards remain pretty much exclusively the province of actual skateboarders, with a tiny minority of young people who impulse-purchased a skateboard that will soon be exiled to the basement when the new owner discovers (a) skating is hard; and (b) members of the opposite sex are almost never impressed by it.

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Delicious, well-deserved elitism.
Delicious, well-deserved elitism.

Dear Hipster:

Rose (rosé?) wine: hipster, trendy, or merely pretentious?

— Kate

There are exactly two mainstream wine drinking positions that account for something like 98 percent of the people you will find raising a glass of vino to their lips. You have the people who say, “Oh, I just don’t ‘do’ white wine,” and then there are the people who won’t drink “red” wine. The remaining 2 percent of wine drinkers comprehend the superficiality of these positions, and those people, coincidentally, are exactly the kind of people who also drink rosé. There may be a bit of pretentiousness wrapped up in that, but there’s also a good deal of well-deserved elitism. Moreover, although I’m no wine savant, from what I understand, rosé is having kind of a moment right now. At least, that is to say it’s having as much of a moment as rosé wine ever has. With those three considerations in place, I can safely answer your question with a nonspecific “yes.”

Dear Hipster:

What is de rigeur for hipster skateboarding in 2020: longboard; penny board; standard board; banana board; or no board, relying upon cycling or walking instead? There has to be a right answer for this.

— Progressive Guru

You have a taxonomic issue here, because your question implicates two potential categories of human/skateboard relationships. The first category would be skateboard hipsters, i.e. legit skaters who are super hipster about skater gear and culture. The second category would be hipster skateboards, which is just skateboards for garden variety hipsters.

The first category comprises a narrow subset of skaters who emulate Z-Boys with ultra-old-school, sliding skate styles, complete with long hair and (sometimes) frayed jorts. Really, any kind of skateboard will do for these skateboard hipsters, but this kind of attitude comes with a necessary ration of geekiness, so they prefer boards built to emulate the deks of the 1970s. These are the kind of skaters who like to talk about seeking out the “soul” of skating. They are roughly equivalent to the surf hipsters who ride longboards and draw the constant, irrepressible ire of mainstream surfers. They are weird mysteries, and, although they can usually shred just as hard as anyone else, they choose not to for reasons known only to them.

Garden variety hipsters split about 80/20 between “no skateboards,” because skateboards are for irritating kids jamming down crowded sidewalks at walking pace, but without control; and between penny/banana boards because enough other people are doing it that it seems like a good idea. As you might expect, they have about as much connection to skating as the average citizen has to motorsports and high-performance driving from behind the wheel of whatever fungible crossover hybrid SUV he or she overpaid for in order to avoid buying a more useful vehicle.

Just for thoroughness, I will add that you usually see two types of people on longboards: weirdly extreme downhill racer types, and stoned bros on their way to a disc golf course. Regular skateboards remain pretty much exclusively the province of actual skateboarders, with a tiny minority of young people who impulse-purchased a skateboard that will soon be exiled to the basement when the new owner discovers (a) skating is hard; and (b) members of the opposite sex are almost never impressed by it.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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