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The hottest drinks of winter

Step beyond warm Keystone Ice Lager

True hipsters will recognize.
True hipsters will recognize.

Dear Hipster:

I think the hipster love of winter has been fairly well established at this point, and we can pretty much take it as a given that, for every person who falls back on the painfully mainstream complaints about the shortness of the days, there is at least one hipster ready to praise the flannely joy of wintertime. Probably very little needs to be said about the matter. Me, I’m in the camp of loving cooler weather for one reason, and one reason only... the hot drinks! I don’t mean tea, coffee, and hot cocoa. I mean the hot, alcoholic drinks that would turn your stomach in the summer but make you look forward to long, dark nights in the winter so you can cozy up with something warm and boozy to ward off the chill. I have my personal preferences, but I want to know, in the land of wintry hipster hot drinks, which hot drink reigns supreme?

— Mitch

Unfortunately, I remain legally obliged to say the “official” drink of hipster winter is warm Keystone Ice Lager thanks to ironic legislation passed during a particularly snarky session of the unofficial hipster parliament in the middle aughts. Politicians. What can you do?

That said, your particular choice of warm winter tipple says a lot about what kind of hipster you are:

Boozy Hot Chocolate

You’re the kind of DGAF hipster who shows up to any party between Halloween and New Years Eve in Ugg boots, board shorts, and a Santa Hat. Good for you.

Hot Toddy

Aren’t we the discerning hipster of the bunch? I bet you always specify “bourbon” if you order one at the bar, on the off chance the bartender is some sort of Philistine who makes them with rum.

Hot Buttered Rum

You can’t stop telling people how glad you are that sweater weather is finally here. You (correctly) tell your friends about how Die Hard is a Christmas movie. You schedule a Die Hard viewing party. Everybody drinks too much Hot Buttered Rum, so you never get around to watching the movie.

Eggnog

Splashing Christian Brothers into some store bought eggnog? You’re probably not much of a hipster. Laboriously making fresh eggnog, lacing it with a secret concoction of alcohols, and then convincing your friends it’s 100 percent safe to drink raw eggs? You’re exactly the kind of hipster we need around here.

Tom & Jerry

Ordinary people can’t tell the difference between you and the kind of person who loves ordering Mudslides at TGI Fridays. They think you’re drinking something named after a cat and mouse cartoon. The joke’s on them, because you know you’re drinking one of the most legit old timey winter cocktails there is. If people knew what you know, they might stand a chance of someday playing in your league. Too bad the club is so hard to join.

Mulled Wine

You were a drama club hipster kid who studied medieval philosophy in college, and you’ve definitely been to the Renaissance Faire at least once in your life, even if “only to check it out and see what all the fuss is about.” Either that or you’re obsessed with modern Scandinavian foodie trends, and you insist on calling it “Glögg.”

Irish Coffee

Wherever you are is nothing more than where you happen to find yourself on the way to the next place you have to be. The caffeine keeps you going strong till springtime rolls around.

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True hipsters will recognize.
True hipsters will recognize.

Dear Hipster:

I think the hipster love of winter has been fairly well established at this point, and we can pretty much take it as a given that, for every person who falls back on the painfully mainstream complaints about the shortness of the days, there is at least one hipster ready to praise the flannely joy of wintertime. Probably very little needs to be said about the matter. Me, I’m in the camp of loving cooler weather for one reason, and one reason only... the hot drinks! I don’t mean tea, coffee, and hot cocoa. I mean the hot, alcoholic drinks that would turn your stomach in the summer but make you look forward to long, dark nights in the winter so you can cozy up with something warm and boozy to ward off the chill. I have my personal preferences, but I want to know, in the land of wintry hipster hot drinks, which hot drink reigns supreme?

— Mitch

Unfortunately, I remain legally obliged to say the “official” drink of hipster winter is warm Keystone Ice Lager thanks to ironic legislation passed during a particularly snarky session of the unofficial hipster parliament in the middle aughts. Politicians. What can you do?

That said, your particular choice of warm winter tipple says a lot about what kind of hipster you are:

Boozy Hot Chocolate

You’re the kind of DGAF hipster who shows up to any party between Halloween and New Years Eve in Ugg boots, board shorts, and a Santa Hat. Good for you.

Hot Toddy

Aren’t we the discerning hipster of the bunch? I bet you always specify “bourbon” if you order one at the bar, on the off chance the bartender is some sort of Philistine who makes them with rum.

Hot Buttered Rum

You can’t stop telling people how glad you are that sweater weather is finally here. You (correctly) tell your friends about how Die Hard is a Christmas movie. You schedule a Die Hard viewing party. Everybody drinks too much Hot Buttered Rum, so you never get around to watching the movie.

Eggnog

Splashing Christian Brothers into some store bought eggnog? You’re probably not much of a hipster. Laboriously making fresh eggnog, lacing it with a secret concoction of alcohols, and then convincing your friends it’s 100 percent safe to drink raw eggs? You’re exactly the kind of hipster we need around here.

Tom & Jerry

Ordinary people can’t tell the difference between you and the kind of person who loves ordering Mudslides at TGI Fridays. They think you’re drinking something named after a cat and mouse cartoon. The joke’s on them, because you know you’re drinking one of the most legit old timey winter cocktails there is. If people knew what you know, they might stand a chance of someday playing in your league. Too bad the club is so hard to join.

Mulled Wine

You were a drama club hipster kid who studied medieval philosophy in college, and you’ve definitely been to the Renaissance Faire at least once in your life, even if “only to check it out and see what all the fuss is about.” Either that or you’re obsessed with modern Scandinavian foodie trends, and you insist on calling it “Glögg.”

Irish Coffee

Wherever you are is nothing more than where you happen to find yourself on the way to the next place you have to be. The caffeine keeps you going strong till springtime rolls around.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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