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Now playing: MADDIE'S SECRET (2025)
It’s no secret that John Early’s debut feature is a complete mess.
Ess ess, mein Kinder!
MADDIE’S SECRET (2025) Written and Directed by John Early / Cinematography: Max Lakner / Design: Gordon Landenberger / Editing: Danny Scharar / Composer: Michael A. Hesslein / Acted by: John Early, Kate Berlant, Eric Rahill, Claudia O'Doherty, Conner O'Malley, Vanessa Bayer, Leah Hennessey, Emily Allan, Ruby McCollister, Pat Regan, Dominique Witten, Chris Bauer and Kristen Johnston / USA / Magnolia Pictures / Not Rated / Length: 100 mins.
Camp isn’t made, it’s born. Anyone purposely setting out to create schlock is doing moviegoers a great disservice. Such is the case of John Early’s excruciatingly dire queer soap opera, Maddie’s Secret. It’s no secret that Early’s debut feature is a complete mess.
Maddie (Early) goes from dishwasher to recipe developer when a video her husband (Eric Rahill) shot in the couple’s kitchen reaches 600,000 hits overnight. In no time, Maddie is hired for a popular food series in which she plays chef in an imaginary restaurant.
According to Early, who wrote, directed and stars, the dirtiest words in the cinema lexicography are pacing, character shading, dramatic function, and depth of character. The immoderate performances are on par with a Level 1 acting class. As for the star’s performance, at any given moment, one can tell Maddie’s state of mind by the dark circles smudged under her eyes.
We’re not meant to experience these characters: Early sets them up to knock them down in the name of snarky cheap shots to keep viewers sniggering at all the campy excess. I’m not implying there’s nothing on screen to laugh at. On the contrary, the writing, acting and direction is so incompetent you’ll be doubled over with laughter.
The inspiration behind all this is clearly John Waters’ collaborations with Divine. But Early doesn’t have what it takes to go full filth. From bulimia and self-loathing to suicidal tendency and faking pregnancy to get attention, Maddie isn’t a character: she's a walking series of symptoms. The last half of the picture takes place in an eating disorder treatment facility where, for a convenient plot twist, Maddie’s best friend, Deena (Kate Berlant) checks in to keep her company.
The only laughs to be found are of a satirically contemptuous variety, the highpoint of which comes when Maddie and her overbearing mother (Kristen Johnston) face off in a therapist's office.
The only positive note: no one in the film calls out the guy in girl’s clothing playing it straight. Other than that, this one should come with a skull and crossbones rather than a rating.
Now playing at the Digital Gym.
Rating: Zero stars
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjfX8l5XrF8
Here's something you might be interested in.
Now playing: MADDIE'S SECRET (2025)
It’s no secret that John Early’s debut feature is a complete mess.
Now playing: MADDIE'S SECRET (2025)
It’s no secret that John Early’s debut feature is a complete mess.
Ess ess, mein Kinder!
MADDIE’S SECRET (2025) Written and Directed by John Early / Cinematography: Max Lakner / Design: Gordon Landenberger / Editing: Danny Scharar / Composer: Michael A. Hesslein / Acted by: John Early, Kate Berlant, Eric Rahill, Claudia O'Doherty, Conner O'Malley, Vanessa Bayer, Leah Hennessey, Emily Allan, Ruby McCollister, Pat Regan, Dominique Witten, Chris Bauer and Kristen Johnston / USA / Magnolia Pictures / Not Rated / Length: 100 mins.
Camp isn’t made, it’s born. Anyone purposely setting out to create schlock is doing moviegoers a great disservice. Such is the case of John Early’s excruciatingly dire queer soap opera, Maddie’s Secret. It’s no secret that Early’s debut feature is a complete mess.
Maddie (Early) goes from dishwasher to recipe developer when a video her husband (Eric Rahill) shot in the couple’s kitchen reaches 600,000 hits overnight. In no time, Maddie is hired for a popular food series in which she plays chef in an imaginary restaurant.
According to Early, who wrote, directed and stars, the dirtiest words in the cinema lexicography are pacing, character shading, dramatic function, and depth of character. The immoderate performances are on par with a Level 1 acting class. As for the star’s performance, at any given moment, one can tell Maddie’s state of mind by the dark circles smudged under her eyes.
We’re not meant to experience these characters: Early sets them up to knock them down in the name of snarky cheap shots to keep viewers sniggering at all the campy excess. I’m not implying there’s nothing on screen to laugh at. On the contrary, the writing, acting and direction is so incompetent you’ll be doubled over with laughter.
The inspiration behind all this is clearly John Waters’ collaborations with Divine. But Early doesn’t have what it takes to go full filth. From bulimia and self-loathing to suicidal tendency and faking pregnancy to get attention, Maddie isn’t a character: she's a walking series of symptoms. The last half of the picture takes place in an eating disorder treatment facility where, for a convenient plot twist, Maddie’s best friend, Deena (Kate Berlant) checks in to keep her company.
The only laughs to be found are of a satirically contemptuous variety, the highpoint of which comes when Maddie and her overbearing mother (Kristen Johnston) face off in a therapist's office.
The only positive note: no one in the film calls out the guy in girl’s clothing playing it straight. Other than that, this one should come with a skull and crossbones rather than a rating.
Now playing at the Digital Gym.
Rating: Zero stars
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjfX8l5XrF8