Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

From the scrunchie to the Cats movie

The best and worst of 2019

Have a Scrunchie New Year!
Have a Scrunchie New Year!

Dear Hipster:

What were the best and worst parts of 2019?

— Zadie

Sponsored
Sponsored

From the hipster perspective, the best part of 2019 would have to be the brief return to popularity of the scrunchie. Ordinarily, we hipsters care little for mainstream fashion trends, but the return of the scrunchie is a huge moral victory for hipsters. People love laughing about hipsters doing old-fashioned things, like listening to music on vinyl, infusing their own cocktail bitters, or growing mustaches more suited to an Austrian monarch than a part-time artist/full-time table server. But, if something as pointlessly quotidian as a 1990s hair tie can ride the retro train to mainstream glory town, then who’s laughing now?

The worst part of 2019 was obviously the Cats movie. We have known about the “uncanny valley” since 1970, and we all agree: nobody wants to spend the night camped out there listening to not-quite-human voices cry out in the darkness of the imagination. So, why did the movie’s producers think it would be a good idea to pitch a $90,000,000 tent there? Learn a little hipster discernment in what you try to “bring back,” please and thanks.

Dear Hipster:

This year, I received a holiday gift I hate. I won’t go into detail about what it was, for fear of outing myself to the gifter. That could mean it’s something super identifiable, or it could mean the person who gave it to me is, like, super perceptive and would deduced my identity from the smallest clue. I won’t say. I won’t even say what holiday it might have been. It could have been Chanukah or a pagan winter solstice. Maybe it was Festivus. I won’t tell, because I’m paranoid about having my gift-receiving shame made public in the pages of the Reader. All I can say is that it was from a person who should have known better, and ultimately could not have known worse. Maybe you think I’m over-dramatizing, but if you’d gotten this gift and you were in my shoes, you’d feel the same, I promise. Anyways, tempted as I am to hide the gift away and let it become one with the detritus at the back of my closet, I know it’s only a matter of time before I’m having to explain myself in relation to my perceived non-appreciation of this gift, at which point I will die a thousand deaths on the inside. Conventional wisdom has failed me, so I need an unconventional solution!

— Mickey

Everybody always says “be polite” or “find something nice to say,” which is all well and good if you have time for that. As all this talk of scrunchies has put me in a delightfully ‘90s mood, I’ll make an obscure reference (so obscure there’s no helpful YouTube clip to illustrate my point) to the mediocre 1990s college angst flick, Glory Daze (of all the movies featuring a pre-Good Will Hunting Ben Affleck, it’s definitely in the top three!), and recommend “preservation by destruction” as a means of protecting your interests. Burn the house down if you have to, or resort to lesser means if sufficient. Don’t hesitate to sacrifice more cherished property as collateral damage, thus lending verisimilitude to the proceedings. Only by totally obliterating the offending object(s) can you avoid responsibility for them.

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

SD Symphony singer tells what it’s like behind the scenes

Conductor Payare even looks like Mahler
Next Article

How to make a hit Christmas song

Feeling is key, but money helps too
Have a Scrunchie New Year!
Have a Scrunchie New Year!

Dear Hipster:

What were the best and worst parts of 2019?

— Zadie

Sponsored
Sponsored

From the hipster perspective, the best part of 2019 would have to be the brief return to popularity of the scrunchie. Ordinarily, we hipsters care little for mainstream fashion trends, but the return of the scrunchie is a huge moral victory for hipsters. People love laughing about hipsters doing old-fashioned things, like listening to music on vinyl, infusing their own cocktail bitters, or growing mustaches more suited to an Austrian monarch than a part-time artist/full-time table server. But, if something as pointlessly quotidian as a 1990s hair tie can ride the retro train to mainstream glory town, then who’s laughing now?

The worst part of 2019 was obviously the Cats movie. We have known about the “uncanny valley” since 1970, and we all agree: nobody wants to spend the night camped out there listening to not-quite-human voices cry out in the darkness of the imagination. So, why did the movie’s producers think it would be a good idea to pitch a $90,000,000 tent there? Learn a little hipster discernment in what you try to “bring back,” please and thanks.

Dear Hipster:

This year, I received a holiday gift I hate. I won’t go into detail about what it was, for fear of outing myself to the gifter. That could mean it’s something super identifiable, or it could mean the person who gave it to me is, like, super perceptive and would deduced my identity from the smallest clue. I won’t say. I won’t even say what holiday it might have been. It could have been Chanukah or a pagan winter solstice. Maybe it was Festivus. I won’t tell, because I’m paranoid about having my gift-receiving shame made public in the pages of the Reader. All I can say is that it was from a person who should have known better, and ultimately could not have known worse. Maybe you think I’m over-dramatizing, but if you’d gotten this gift and you were in my shoes, you’d feel the same, I promise. Anyways, tempted as I am to hide the gift away and let it become one with the detritus at the back of my closet, I know it’s only a matter of time before I’m having to explain myself in relation to my perceived non-appreciation of this gift, at which point I will die a thousand deaths on the inside. Conventional wisdom has failed me, so I need an unconventional solution!

— Mickey

Everybody always says “be polite” or “find something nice to say,” which is all well and good if you have time for that. As all this talk of scrunchies has put me in a delightfully ‘90s mood, I’ll make an obscure reference (so obscure there’s no helpful YouTube clip to illustrate my point) to the mediocre 1990s college angst flick, Glory Daze (of all the movies featuring a pre-Good Will Hunting Ben Affleck, it’s definitely in the top three!), and recommend “preservation by destruction” as a means of protecting your interests. Burn the house down if you have to, or resort to lesser means if sufficient. Don’t hesitate to sacrifice more cherished property as collateral damage, thus lending verisimilitude to the proceedings. Only by totally obliterating the offending object(s) can you avoid responsibility for them.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Issa aide collaborates with Ukrainians

Carlsbad's Tracy Slepcevic, Warrior Mom, and her ties to RFK, Jr.
Next Article

Barrio Logan’s very good Dogg

Chicano comfort food proves plenty spicy
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader