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Stories by DJ Stevens

Curling sport fandom: Ironic or genuine appreciation?

The rules for when people just throw the term out arbitrarily

Hipster: My daughter laughed at me when I said I didn’t like to watch curling because everyone else seemed to be into it. Whenever it’s on TV, the announcers always have to explain the rules ...

Did Fox News call Kamala Harris a poser?

Her viability as a presidential candidate may well hinge on her credibility as a connoisseur of both primo ganja and vintage hip hop

Dear Hipster: Do we put 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful and current California Senator Kamala Harris in the hipster hall of fame for apparently having been into both Snoop Dogg and Tupac before either rapper had ...

Wasting my life away reading McSweeney’s and the San Diego Reader

Will anyone remember me ten years after I’m gone? Twenty? One hundred?

Dear Hipster: For about a two weeks now, I have found myself lying asleep at night, staring up at the ceiling, watching the fan twirl around, listening to the night noises, and pondering the universe. ...

Original innovation or moustache imitation?

Interesting contradictions, and not just for hipsters

Dear Hipster: Sometimes I get confused about whether it’s more hipster to be an innovator or a clever imitator. On the one hand, it seems to me as if the most hipster thing you can ...

Target and Urban Outfitters: out on the bleeding edge of culture

What corporate America calls ironic t-shirts

Hipster: Are places like Target and Urban Outfitters bona fide hipster destinations or a mass marketed version thereof? — David Much of the outcome here depends on your personal definition of hipster. If you think ...

Hep to the jive

How “hep” and “hepster” worked their way into the American lexicon courtesy of jazz and swing culture

Dear Hipster: Growing up we used the term hep instead of hip, as in I’m hep, a real hep cat, or hep to the jive. So, shouldn’t it be Hepster? Asking for a very hep ...

The cachet of clever

It seems unfair to scorn a hipster for merely wanting to be loved

Hipster: Usually, I feel like YouTube gets me pretty well, recommends the right videos and whatnot, but every now and again I see some unsolicited, random video about things I don’t care about. The other ...

The overpowering nature of ketchup

A food calculated to titillate every taste bud

Dear Hipster: I was visiting people in Chicago over the holiday season. As you may well know, Chicago has a rich tradition of eating hot dogs, and I saw “no ketchup” signs at each and ...

Cheeky imponderables

Should I stay or should I go?

Let’s get the New Year rolling with some cheeky imponderables, shall we? Dear Hipster: What is the difference between cashing in and selling out? — Dan It’s like the difference between making your dreams a ...

What our dear friends in Corporate America know

I’m risking the Jon Snow treatment from my fellow hipsters.

Dear Hipster, Going into 2019, I’m contemplating a change of perspective. Throughout my life, I have tended to take a “close enough for rock and roll” attitude towards a lot of stuff because life is ...

Crossing an invisible line

These days, it’s Forged in Fire marathons and conspriacy theories

Dear Hipster: Although you’ve always made it abundantly clear there is no one-size-fits-all definition of hipster, we can all agree that hipsters are largely identified by what they do, whatever that may be. Some magic ...

Meta-catster!

He only chases free-range, grass-fed mice

Hey D.J. Check out this picture I found of “Catster.” I guess that’s like a “Hip-Cat!” So, if this were in the Reader, I guess it would be like asking the question, “If there are ...

It’s a trap

Like reading one of those timeshare advertisements that promise free island getaways

Dear Hipster: What would you say if you were walking downtown and you saw a pink poster in the window of an apartment complex advertising “Hip Apartments for Lease” alongside another pink poster of a ...

The perfect catch-all holiday

Maybe you should give Festivus a shot

Dear Hipster: With the so-called Holiday Season fully upon us, one cannot engage in the world without fielding a barrage of “Happy Holidays!” and other such seasonal well-wishes. As if it weren’t enough to be ...

The Mac Davis Rule

Nobody Likes a Smartass

Dear Hipster: At this point in my life, I have friends in their twenties, thirties, forties, and even fifties. Usually, I don’t think too much about the potential generation gaps that separate us. After all, ...

Delightfully improbable scenario

Insta boomerang of self making snow angel while drinking hot rum toddy

Dear Hipster: If it snowed in San Diego this winter (I mean, in the city proper, not up in the mountains) do you think local hipsters would be into it, or would their immunity to ...

A chorus of hearty mehs

Next year? You’d best start planning now.

Dear Hipster: If pies can be ranked in order of hipness, then what else goes appropriately on the hipster Thanksgiving table? — Karen The key to any good hipster Thanksgiving table is balance — balance ...

Virtuous behavior through humblebrag

Saving the world one $80,000 luxury car at a time

Dear Hipster: I don’t agree with Corn Dog Guy (or Girl) that hipsters = yuppies. In fact, I’m not even sure there are yuppies anymore. When I think of “yuppies,” I think of a whole ...

Australians being hilariously Australian

The etymology of jive terms “hep,” “hepster,” and “hep cat”

Dear Hipster: I saw a video the other day on the Australian National Geographic website, of all places, about how the Oxford English Dictionary gives the etymology of hipsters as having something to do with ...

A penchant for all things random

What? Why? How?

Dear Hipster: I was chilling at a brewery with a couple friends the other night, and I inadvertently eavesdropped on a couple hipsters who were drunkenly bellowing behind me about some shenanigans one of them ...

A cruel, gentrifying hybrid called... Corn Dog

All of them sold the heck out and published books. Typical.

Dear Hipster: I think the concept of hipster has changed so much throughout the past 25 years that I don’t even consider hipsters Hipsters anymore. I consider them to be...yuppies. Am I wrong to think ...

Ripe for holiday mockery

What will be the number one hot Halloween costume this year?

Dear Hipster: Every damn year, Halloween comes around and I realize I’ve got a party on Saturday...and it’s Thursday...and I don’t have a costume, or even an idea. I swear, this year I’m going to ...

Blind pet diagnosis: the truth lies somewhere in the middle

I propose a simple series of diagnostic tests

Dear Hipster: I have a 13-year-old Italian Greyhound rescue, Turbo, who I just discovered is almost totally blind. Italian Greyhounds are sighthounds. Does Turbo’s sightlessness make him an ironic, hipster sighthound? Should he move to ...

A perverse tribute to a true dive

The only true dive is one that would resent the title

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrpTDaSjfaM

This burnt ochre-colored craving

Pumpkin spice pioneer, for I believe your day is coming

This burnt ochre-colored craving

Life expectancy

The future needn’t always come at the expense of the past

Life expectancy

A generation of industrious professionals

Hipster parents will be paradoxically proud of the mainstream little overachievers they raised

A generation of industrious professionals

Hipster superpower

Shaving with your laser vision?

Dear Hipster: Would it be hipster to refer to “an hipster,” as opposed to “a hipster,” or would it be pretentious? — An Enquirer I think it’s only pretentious if you say “an hipster” when ...

The difference matters

How much hipsters giveth unto pop culture, but also how much they taketh away

Dear Hipster: You write often of the quirks and idiosyncrasies that differentiate hipsters from what I will call, for lack of a better word, the bourgeoisie. I want to hear about the inverse principle. Namely, ...

How to avoid hipsters

“Man, I remember when it wasn’t so played out”

Dear Hipster: I’ve noticed the way this column often provides helpful (dare I say “invaluable”?) advice on how to distinguish various varieties of hipster from each other, on where to find hipsters, and on why ...

Where San Diego hipsterness begins

Save $2 and get the shredded beef burrito instead

Dear Hipster: What is the most San Diego-specific hipster thing you could do? — Kyle On balance, our local hipsters are much the same as hipsters in any other urban locale worthy of an Eater ...

Don't try to predict the next big thing

Pick a number between 35 and 7892, divide it by a rye Manhattan...

Dear Hipster: Why do so many hipsters harbor ambitions as musicians? — Ernesto It’s actually the other way around, many musicians live hipster lives. The part of the human brain that makes music begins to ...

Seasoned with a hint of social conscience

A home-cooked meal drowned in the sauce of creative necessity

Dear Hipster: I’ve been following your advice about eating all the food in the house in order to make space, but its not been so easy. Why do I have all these cans of sun ...

Brick & mortified

More "doomed to obsolescence"

After an outpouring of creative ideas from the brightest minds among the Reader’s local fan base, I offer the following list of neologisms that might fill the gap in the English language where there really ...

A Hip Hopera

“Slicker than a porpoise and thicker than a horse is”

Dear Hipster: What kind of music is best for working out? — La Jolla Spin Class Junkie I wouldn’t know. We hipsters prefer to remain thin by smoking cigarettes and eating kale. Dear Hipster: I ...

Doomed to obsolescence

Blockbuster syndrome?

At the end of May, I put out a call for suggestions from readers for a word meaning “the pain you feel when you realize something you love about the world is doomed to obsolescence.” ...

Where have all the cowboys gone?

Why aren't they ordering craft cocktails in North Park alongside the lumberjacks?

Dear Hipster: I was idly browsing Westworld reddits the other day, trying to figure out exactly what the heck has been going on the past couple weeks, and that got me thinking about cowboys. Real ...

Dads who like booze donuts and sausage cocktails

"Am I no longer cool? Do I even care?"

Dear Hipster: I’ve been having a kind of hipster crisis lately. I fear I am gradually becoming less and less cool. It seems like just yesterday I was tending bar, sleeping in, getting drunk at ...

Martinis and kidney shaped pools

and; Can one be both retro and creative?

Dear Hipster: Consider the following a sort of follow-up to your recent missive about weather and seasons. Which is the more hipster destination, the desert or the beach? — Dale J. Hmmm, both certainly have ...

Tech, you were my brother, and I loved you

But the future doesn't look bright for us

Dear Hipster: What was your favorite hipster moment during the royal wedding? — Erin Not watching it. Dear Hipster: Did you hear Yanny or Laurel? — Derek I don’t get what all the fuss is ...

Why isn't there Amerivision?

California could kick in the occasional gangsta rap-surf-punk-norteño fusion number

Dear Hipster: I have no opinion on the chicken song, but I sort of wonder, why doesn’t the US have something like the Eurovision Song Contest? — Denny Beats the heck outta me. I would ...

And the winner is...

The most hipster thing ever!

Dear Hipster: What are the five most hipster things that have ever happened? — Derek I guess this is it. Number one. The hipsterest thing of all. We began this journey by learning about some ...

Eat everything in your house

How rad is it to live in such a world of plenty?

Dear Hipster: What are the five most hipster things that have ever happened? — Derek I’ve already plumbed the depths of my knowledge and summoned the three most hipster things ever. Based on completely objective, ...

The best minds of my generation destroyed by madness

Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection

Dear Hipster: What are the five most hipster things that have ever happened? — Derek As we enter the third part of my efforts at cataloguing the five hipsterest things of all time, I’ll briefly ...

George Plimpton: a life lived on a "wouldn't it be crazy if" basis

The number four most hipster thing ever

Dear Hipster: What are the five most hipster things that have ever happened? — Derek As promised, I now continue a painstaking countdown of the five most unequivocally hipster things that have ever happened. Last ...

Y'all best stick to beer and booze

The wine world has no room for hipsters

Dear Hipster: Between discourses on the early days of the hipster-PBR relationship, paeans to the superiority of snooty craft beer, or nostalgic returns to traditional dad beers (e.g. Narragansett in the North East, Natty Boh ...

Hipster humor, explained

The majority of your friends will hate the Orange Head joke

Dear Hipster: Please tell me a good hipster joke. What kind of jokes do hipsters generally like, anyways? — Chad Well, on the one hand, you have your “hipster jokes” such as, “How many hipsters ...

Rap puts hipsters in a bind

We sometimes like the music just because it's good

Dear Hipster: We hear so much about hipsters and the obscure indie rock bands they love, but I want to take that discussion in another direction. Specifically, a direction completely apart from twee indie music ...

Cirque du Hipster

If you have to ask about the cool thing, then you're probably not sufficiently into it

Hipster: So, are there any notable hipster events held anywhere? Craft-beer festivals don’t count. Beard contests, obscure craft hobbies and art on display, booths with books of unheard-of authors, single-speed bike races? I think this ...

Wooing the ad-shy hipster

There is only one thing a Ferrari attracts: other dudes

Dear Hipster: What is the deal with advertising to hipsters? I would think that hipsters would be immune from marketing ploys, if for no other reason than hipsters wouldn’t want to purchase something so mainstream ...

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