You've heard of The Vine, right? Six-second video site? Well, they landed their first movie trailer yesterday, for The Wolverine. Six seconds. That's not a lot of time to give us multiple shots of shirtless Hugh Jackman, but give 'em …

How did I ever miss this?

Over at Sideshow Collectibles, you can now get yourself a Gamorrean Executioner. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/26/42571/ A Gamorrean Executioner. That's one slip of the tongue away from a Gonorrhean Executioner. The mind reels. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/26/42572/ Imperial Stormtroopers? Venereal Stormtroopers. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/26/42574/ Lando Calrissian? Lando Chlamyidan. …

Privacy, meet publicity

Harvey Weinstein is surely one of the greatest huckster-hustlers Hollywood has ever known, and possibly the best Oscar campaigner ever. He is a past master at pushing his product under everybody's nose. Pretty much the exact, total, polar opposite of …

A brief glance at Mickey mockery.

When I interviewed Charles Fleischer, the voice of Roger Rabbit, a while back, I noted with wonder the fact that the film got Disney to sign off on a scene in which Mickey Mouse collaborates with Bugs Bunny to pull …

Well, dog my cats, Scott Marks has fallen for Olympus Has Fallen! Gerard Butler invades the White House and Mr. Marks' critical sensibilities! Also, when the aliens from the future have to sort out the history of the world based …

Every now and then, the universe throws me a bone.

Mysteries abound. My partner here at The Big Screen, Scott Marks, taught animation for around 10 years at Chicago's Columbia College. The man loves cartoons enough to build a curriculum around them. He could probably do a class on The …

The stars, they are shining. But not at your local multiplex. First, the good news: Scott Marks, aka Mr. Five Stars, has gone and awarded the Reader's highest priority to Like Someone in Love. Japanese call girls! Themes of miscommunication …

Why is Jay-Z doing the soundtrack for The Great Gatsby when he should be starring?

I mean, seriously, look at the man. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/14/41910/ If that's not the Gatsby of today, at least in terms of sartorial opulence, then I don't know who is. Oh, and it gets better. Gatsby's garrulous friend Nick the narrator? "Old …

Today, I am not attending the screening for Spring Breakers, Harmony Korine's film about Disney starlets in bikinis. That duty fell to Mr. Marks. Okay, I'm sure it's about more than just Disney starlets in bikinis, but there is no …

If there's one thing everybody loves, it's unsettling investigations into creepy family dynamics. Hellooooo, Stoker! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/08/41408/ "Hi, I'm your uncle." Stoker is the latest from Park "Oldboy" Chan-Wook. (No, not that Oldboy. This one, silly.) If you're not familiar with …

Look, I know not everyone is going to be as taken as I am with the notion of a French film that takes the notions of spiritual struggles and holiness seriously (maybe Roger Ebert?), but you could have at least …

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/08/41386/ "Relax! These bubbles can only be burst by bad reviews!" Storm a-comin'. No, not the silly twister in Oz the Great and Powerful that isn't one-half as scary as the twister in a similar film whose name escapes me …

Let's play a game. Which of the images below is the Sideshow Collectibles plastic model of Sylvester Stallone, and which is the actor himself? http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/07/41341/ http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/07/41343/

So Machete Kills is going to feature boob guns. An alert reader over at Filmdrunk noted that boob guns appeared on Ursula Andress back in 1965's The Tenth Victim. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/07/41337/ But of course, we've had deadly boobs in the interim. …

Uh-oh.

Only now do we begin to realize the forces that were at work... http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/04/41047/ And he seemed like such a nice fellow.

You remember Kubricking, right? Becoming obsessed with a particular artistic creation, past the point of reason, even, possibly, past the point of artistic merit? (See also: Peter Jackson and nine hours of The Hobbit, James Cameron and nothing but Avatar …

Go ahead, tell me this isn't intentional. This: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/01/40942/ Plus this: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/01/40943/ Equals this: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/01/40944/

No. Just No. Scott busts out the rare five-star rating for this retro experiment in matching new film to archival footage, mostly because he misses the good old days of VHS. Kidding! Here's the thing about scheduling releases: The Gatekeepers …

Ladies and gentlemen, the Mark Episode IV: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/28/40884/ Ha ha no seriously: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/28/40885/ Um, careful, Tony - that fist you're making is looking pretty exposed. Maybe think about punching with the armored hand, even if it does mean breaking your …

Kenneth Sewell is the author of Red Star Rogue: The Untold Story of a Soviet Submarine's Nuclear Strike Attempt on the U.S., the book that served as the inspiration for Phantom, which opens Friday. He also served as technical advisor …