Never let it be said that we let good taste stand in the way of a good joke.

Sidebar content can shift more quickly than the sands of the Sahara in a simoom, so if you check us on this, you may have to just take our word. But just now, if you bop over to the story …

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Retired drone is honored for 2005 strike against Al-Qaeda operative Haitham al-Yemeni

STARING BRAVELY AHEAD INTO A FUTURE THAT WILL ABSOLUTELY HOPEFULLY NOT INCLUDE ROGUE DRONES RAINING DEATH FROM ABOVE ON U.S. CITIZENS - Secretary of Defense Charles "Chuck" Hagel today presented the United States military's first Distinguished Warfare Medal to "Palindrone," …

Over 4,000 guns bought back, no questions asked, and then re-sold to new customers, no questions asked.

"Let's face it," says Crossroads of the West Gun Show director Max Luger, "in this day and age, you have to think twice before buying a gun. For one thing, guns have gotten some bad PR lately. But more importantly, …

President Grippe: "If you outlaw pit bulls, then only outlaws will have pit bulls."

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/11/41547/ NPBA anti-regulation ad NERVOUSLY PROFFERING A MILK BONE, PARADISE HILLS - Carla Cornelio was sentenced to four years in prison today following her conviction for involuntary manslaughter and two counts of owning a mischievous animal that caused a death. …

Neighbors complain about height violations; Romney's legal team counters that "While man was given dominion over the earth, the heavens belong to God. And as for me and my house, we will honor the Lord."

Emails obtained by the San Diego Reader give the public its first glimpse of Romney's Rest: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/04/41045/ The ocean is there, but you can't see it because of the massive white building that's blocking your view.

"Busting a Hotel Circle establishment for allowing prostitutes? Has he forgotten why people come to conventions?"

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/mar/01/40945/ Okay, so maybe calling your establishment "Hard Johnson Prostitute Parlor" is a little much. HOLDING DOWN MY END OF THE BAR, ALBIE'S BEEF INN, MISSION VALLEY - "Honestly, I don't get it," says John Smith, an insurance salesman from …

Medical marijuana opponent recognized for her work in ensuring the stability of the cartel's lucrative drug-import business.

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/28/40910/ SITTING IN WHAT I WOULD PROBABLY DESCRIBE AS A BEAUTIFUL AND EXOTIC LOCATION WERE IT NOT FOR THE BAG OVER MY HEAD, MEXICO - Last night at its annual Awards Gala and Nosy Journalist Slaughter, the Sinaloa drug cartel …

Famed terrorist organization deemed "just not evil enough" by co-owner SDGE

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/28/40903/ STROLLING ALONG THE BEACH, HOLDING A FLUFFY WHITE CAT, SAN ONOFRE - "It's...disappointing," says Ernst Stavro Blofeld, gazing wistfully at the twin domes of the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station. "For a minute there, when I first saw those …

UT-TV host/hostess says, "I finally feel comfortable in my own skin; plus, we needed more hotness to attract eyeballs to the show."

Before: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/25/40647/ After: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/25/40648/

Multiple players have tested positive.

At least Grandal was trying, you know? Following the news that catcher Yasmani Grandal had juiced up with shots of Man Rage-brand hormone sauce, and that shortstop Everth Cabrera and relief pitcher Fautino De Los Santos had links to the …

"You know who else has a coastal location and a bay? Corpus Christi!"

For Texas Governor Rick Perry, it was a matter of right place, right time. The Lone Star leader had been on a big-game hunting expedition in California, his sights set on the state's trophy businesses: Apple, Facebook, eBay, and more. …

"I know! We'll call it 'Mapping the human brain.' That sounds helpful. People love government help."

Ralph Greenspan, the associate director of the Kavli Institute at UC San Diego, has been tapped by the White House to help engineer government oversight of brain function among United States citizens. "Government and science had a long and proud …

Organization offered untraditional end-of-life care, employed untraditional financial and regulatory practices

A Medicare Audit has forced the closure of San Diego Hospice. The program helped many local souls go gentle into that good night through palliative health care, often administered within the comfort of their own homes. But the increasing popularity …

"Betting with funds from her husband's nonprofit? That's almost like betting with your own money! It's a sucker's game!"

This morning, former San Diego mayor Susan Golding addressed a gathering of the Rancho Santa Fe Wealthy Women's Society at a caviar tasting. She took the occasion to offer comment on the news that former San Diego Mayor Maureen O'Connor …

CityBeat reporter, perhaps fearing KO for print organ, calls it quits and heads online. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/13/40070/

Crews called in to right supine sailor and naughty nurse "before things get out of hand. This is a public park!"

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"What I said was, 'I'm buying an LA Times.'"

"Otherwise, how would I know what's going on in Southern California? From the U-T? Ha, ha, good one." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/feb/13/40051/

Ad included coupon for 50% off steak and eggs at The Waffle Spot in Hotel Circle; alleged cop killer may have filled up before heading south.

Tourism Board President: "In hindsight, the ad represents an error in judgment. We were trying to make use of San Diego's proximity to the border, which has represented freedom for so many outlaws, from Joe in Jimi Hendrix's classic 'Hey …

The hits keep coming!

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