Walter Mencken

Latest Articles

Midwest metropolis cedes iconic status to San Diego

Cleveland blinks!

Members of the victorious 2016 Cavaliers basketball team do their best to ignore the gnawing emptiness tearing at their souls as they arrive in Cleveland following a thrilling seven-game NBA Finals against the Golden State ...

San Diego Bishop takes a moment to express his solidarity with LGBTQI community

McElroy’s Macklemore moment?

On June 19, the Global Network of Rainbow Catholics posted an online petition at to express “sorrow and solidarity with the LGBTQI community in the United States” following the horrific shooting by Muslim Omar ...

Trump dismisses San Diego-based lawsuit, citing primacy of “showbiz” over “regular biz”

Are you not entertained?

FEDERAL COURTHOUSE, SAN DIEGO — “Politics is show business, people,” said Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump at this morning's press conference. “It has been ever since the Lincoln-Douglas debates, and probably before that. All this ...

Rapper Snoop Dogg defends lousy first pitch at Padres game

Calls it, “Pitching my pitching to the playa’s playing."

Rap legend Snoop Dogg threw out the first pitch for the Padres June 8 home game against the Atlanta Braves, though calling it a “pitch” might be a bit generous: the ball sailed so far ...

Visiting professor complains about San Diego State mascot’s pregame ritual sacrifices

"That’s racist murderous.”

Everybody loves it when Monty the Montezuma plunges his blade into the chest of an opposing team’s mascot and extracts the sometimes-still-beating heart. Everybody, that is, except San Diego State visiting professor Sogy Sponge. Sponge ...

Local company celebrates Hillary Clinton’s selection as the first female robot presidential candidate

Brain gain

“Hillary Clinton’s selection as the Democratic candidate for President is now as certain as the replacement of humanity by robots,” says Brain Corporation Chief Communications Officer Sarah Brum. “So, in a way, it’s totally fitting ...


Wordplay unlikely to entertain true Boltlievers.

“Convadium,” crooned my partner in gadabouting Pemberton Throckmorton III, drawing out the “a” and lingering just a moment on the “m.” “Just listen to it! It’s the space of the future! What can’t you do ...

Farting clowns make big stink

Gassy group Musical Fruit demands apology and investigation following Petco Park's second National Anthem mixup in a month

“Here at the San Diego Padres,” says the team’s Executive Chairfellow Ron Fouler, "we’ve always believed in the healing power of humor. I mean, can you think of another Major League Baseball outfit that’s had ...

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