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For Texas Governor Rick Perry, it was a matter of right place, right time. The Lone Star leader had been on a big-game hunting expedition in California, his sights set on the state's trophy businesses: Apple, Facebook, eBay, and more. "I understand that business owners in the Golden State are frustrated with excessive government strangulation - er, regulation," said Perry. "They're collapsing under burdensome tax rates levied by out-of-touch legislators who keep pouring money into the broken system that they created. The California government drilled holes in the bucket, and now they want more water from guys who built the well. Well, enough is enough. I'm here to invite all y'all to Texas, where we still understand why people headed out West."

He was just wrapping up his visit with a couple of days of R&R here in America's Finest City when he got wind of Socialist Overlord and Grand Mayor Bob Filner's demand that the city's hotels fork over a chunk of their room fees, and also that they provide something he calls "a living wage" to the fortunate people who get to work in America's playland. "I was staying in the Manchester Grand Del Mar, when I read in the hotel's newsletter - what's it called, the U-T something? - about this clown's attempt to horn in on a deal that got made before he even took office. As a Texan, I salute the big brass ones it takes to pull a stunt like that, but as a Republican, I'm horrified at this intrusion of government into business. I got on the phone to the San Diego Hoteliers Association, and four hours later, I had the five largest chains in town ready to pull up stakes and turn Corpus Christi into the city that San Diego used to be."

"We had the boys in accounting do a little homework overnight," says Mission Valley Doubletree General Manager Ollie Garck, "and it turns out that actually dismantling our hotels brick by brick, hauling the pieces to Texas, and reassembling them would cost less than meeting all of Il Filner's demands. You know, as long as we use illegals for the grunt work."

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eastlaker Feb. 21, 2013 @ 11:19 a.m.

This isn't too far off!

Thanks, I needed the levity!


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