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Stories by Patrick Daugherty (RIP)

The Colts' Luck

Six weeks ago I wrote a column about the Indianapolis Colts deliberately losing their games in order to guarantee owning the number 1 pick in April’s NFL draft. Said pick to be used to acquire …

December 14, 2011
Super Bowl Count: Packers 13, Chargers 0

I’m assuming you’ve heard about the Green Bay Packers’ stock sale that began Tuesday. The defending Super Bowl champion and only publicly owned nonprofit franchise in SportsWorld, USA division, is offering 250,000 Green Bay Packers, …

December 7, 2011
World Cup Fever

We have a sporting pause before the NFL playoffs and college conference football tournaments begin, before NCAA basketball is cranked up to speed, and well before the NBA resumes its struggle to make you give …

November 30, 2011
Work 10 Weeks, Take 10 Months Off, Part 3

I’m at table with Ms. Abby in the tea room of the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco. My current girlfriend has dressed me with care (Harris Tweed sports coat, matching slacks, shoes, and tie), …

November 22, 2011
Penn State Is a Plantation, and JoePa Was the Owner

There is a continental stench coming out of Penn State. Step back, consider yourself a neutral observer with no stake in the scandal. Let’s say you knew there was an eyewitness to the (alleged) rape …

November 22, 2011
Work Ten Weeks, Take Ten Months Off, Part Two

And what in the fuck is it with me that I can’t roll a straight joint? Todd snorts. “The one from Prudhoe Bay to Valdez. The one that’s gonna hire 20,000 people. The one that’s …

November 16, 2011
Was Penn State a party to pedophilia?

Remembering that even this bastard is presumed innocent, it’s a quick transformation between a breaking news story and a corporate media storyline about said breaking news story. This is how torture becomes enhanced interrogation. You …

November 16, 2011
Working the Alaska pipeline and Prudhoe Bay

Chapter 1 I found my first year-round job at the age of 45. Birthday boy was broke, living in a downtown Oakland, California, apartment, and 23 days from eviction. Normally, this would not be a …

November 9, 2011
To Tank Or Not To Tank

On the phone with a friend I’ll call Henry Hill. He’s a family man, casino consultant, degenerate gambler, and believer in conspiracy theories. Henry thinks the Indianapolis Colts are tanking the season. Conspiracy theories are …

November 2, 2011
In Yachting News...

On Sunday, Ted Turner and 14 others were inducted into the National Sailing Hall of Fame at the San Diego Yacht Club. As long as you aren’t married to him or work for him, Ted …

October 26, 2011
Occupy ESPN!

Mountain West, Big East, ACC, SEC, Big 12, Big Ten, Conference USA, Mid-America, et al. College conference realignment reminds me of the good old days, circa 2007, when Goldman Sachs sold worthless collateralized debt obligations …

October 19, 2011
Hawk Hill. Part 2

So, I’m standing atop Hawk Hill, a 940-foot rise located on the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge and lookout point for the largest known raptor migration path on the West Coast. This is …

October 12, 2011
Hawk Hill. Part I

The first moment: at the Sacramento National Wildlife Refuge Complex in Willows. Sound comes at you from the sunset, which is happening underneath the dome of an aqua-blue sky, banded on its low end by …

October 5, 2011
Sports Poetry Issue

Thanks to Jim Behrie who writes “Football Picks Haikus” for theawl.com. Follows are two of his NFL Week 3 haikus: At Cincinnati -2.5 San Francisco Bengals aren’t doormats The 49ers play tough But I still …

September 28, 2011
Sports Movie Issue

It is rare for a sports movie to be something more than a gritty underdog team or underdog person, who, against all odds, in the final seconds of the contest, wins the race or game …

September 21, 2011
Midnight in Belize

On the phone with an old friend and Poway resident who I’ll call David Becker. I’m listening to David vs. the Power Outage. He’s saying, “It seems strange, after ten years and spending a billion …

September 14, 2011
Chump Week

There is an ancient Division 1 athletic department tradition about opening the football season against certified wimps. The idea is to make sure you win the first game no matter how degrading it is to …

August 31, 2011
Betty White in the Cage with Peyton Manning

How did this start? The first thing I remember is reading an ESPN.com item on Kobe Bryant questioning whether or not he’ll play in China this year. Which led to an article on another website, …

August 24, 2011
Stops and Starts

Last week, my iMac’s hard drive died by way of self-immolation. I’ve had computers die before, saying goodbye with a blue screen of death. One laptop emitted puffs of smoke from underneath its keyboard. But, …

August 17, 2011
End of Summer Issue. Two Weeks Until Lingerie Football Kicks Off.

Well, Blair Cannon, 40, finished his 21-mile Catalina to mainland swim. He shoved off from Catalina Friday midnight, 8 hours and 17 minutes later washed ashore at Palos Verdes, finishing with the third-fastest time ever …

August 10, 2011
Dispatch from the Front

Next week, the Box will report what happened with Blair Cannon’s August 5 midnight swim from Catalina Island to the mainland and provide an update on Monarch School and what they plan to do with …

August 3, 2011
Swimmer Guy

So, last week, the Box introduced Monarch School, a kindergarten-through-12th-grade public/private school (don’t ask) for homeless children and children affected by homelessness, located in downtown San Diego. This is the outfit Blair Cannon, aka swimmer …

July 27, 2011
Good People

It’s going to take a little while to get there — “there” being the sports side of things. But, on the happy side of the street, we’re already two sentences closer. I’ll begin with Joel …

July 20, 2011
Chase Catania Legends Before His Time

“My first race was at Orange Show Speedway in San Bernardino. I was 15 and it was Legends cars.” El Cajon’s Chase Catania, now 20 years old, is talking into a tinny cell phone from …

July 13, 2011
Summer Lull Roundup

As Tiger Woods will tell you, it doesn’t take long before nobody cares. Retired Boston/Toronto/Yankees/Houston/Yankees MLB pitcher “Rocket” Roger Clemens reached his scandal shelf life long ago, but his Washington DC baseball/steroids/lying trial begins Wednesday …

June 29, 2011
San Diego Live-Aboard

It’s at the point of being rare, talking to a stranger in a bar and realizing, from the start, that you’re having an interesting conversation. I’m at the Harbor Bar (that’s Pillar Point Harbor to …

June 22, 2011
NCAA, Omniscient Provider of Goodness

We’ll start with the University of Southern California (USC) bust. You remember the school criminals: O.J. Mayo (received improper benefits) played college basketball for one year, skipped to the NBA (Memphis Grizzlies), and made $4,456,000 …

June 15, 2011
Casting Call for Good Guy

Even though we’re facing long odds, the NBA finals still have a shot at being good theater. As sports fans and drama students know, to be good theater you’ve got to have a good guy …

June 8, 2011
All Tweet, No Action

In our busy-busy world, one must multitask. You can be homeless or you can work two jobs and live in debt for the rest of your life. That’s about the size of it. So, one …

June 1, 2011
You Never See That on TV

Radio says they’re expecting 10,000 to 15,000 people here ­— here being Livermore, a town of 80,000 known to Bike World as Stage 4 start line in this year’s Tour of California. I’d been birding …

May 25, 2011
Tiger...in the Rough Again?

Getting a bad feeling about how it’s going to end. People forget how long this has been going on. Follows is from a column written in December, 2009. “This morning’s count is 15 mistresses, no …

May 18, 2011
What Is It About Vegas?

Watching the Manny Pacquiao/Shane Mosley fight on Showtime. Venue is the MGM Grand in Vegas. The camera pans the crowd and then there’s an outdoor shot of the strip. This always gets me. I lived …

May 11, 2011
Sell the Dodgers to Charlie Sheen

It’s always little people who get screwed. Look at the Dodgers. A mighty franchise brought down to the point where a soulless drone like Bud Selig is moved to seize control. This is what happens …

April 27, 2011
Self-Help Issue with Tim Ferriss

When it comes to diets, you’re on your own. Step right up, sucker, the nutrition bazaar is open for business. Why not test-ride the hCG Diet? Daily female pregnancy hormone injections coupled with a generous, …

April 20, 2011
Is Tiger Done?

For the first time he seemed old. I mean, not old-old, like Warren Buffett, but old, noticeably older than his closest competitors. Used to be when Tiger was tied or had the lead going into …

April 13, 2011
Cemetery Sports

She died five months ago, Rose, my miniature black-and-tan dachshund. Now, there’s a long story. How a big guy with a bad attitude and a 4WD pickup truck (Alaska plates, still) wound up with such …

April 6, 2011
Winter Sports

It was one of those moments that pop out of the Daugherty space-time continuum on its own. The lead-up was as ordinary as breakfast. San Diego State had just lost their Sweet 16 game, which …

March 30, 2011
Long Time Coming

We can go all the way back to the first lifeform on Earth, which, according to the science crowd, occurred 3.8 billion years ago. Dear reader, let’s stop our busy lives, take a moment right …

March 23, 2011
Lockout Fallout

There are those among us who believe every event ends with winners and losers. As to the NFL lockout, it’s too early to know if NFL Inc., or Players Inc., or CBS/TBS/TNT/TruTV Inc., will be …

March 16, 2011
Post-Postseason Tournaments

Readers ask, “Why don’t we have more postseason basketball tournaments?” I understand the need lurking behind that question. And the pain. Now, it’s true, except for the Ivy League, every Division I basketball conference has …

March 9, 2011
Some Greed is Good in College Basketball

Most happifying. I’m talking about University of San Diego’s win over St. Mary’s in the basketball — men’s side of the ball — division. It wasn’t a squeaker, it was a 74-66 beating. At the …

February 23, 2011
Flora, Fauna, Naked Cheerleaders

It’s coming on to spring. Fairbanks will see spring three months from now, Brooklyn two months, Austin one month. But, wherever you are, spring is a fine time to check out birding festivals. Put the …

February 16, 2011
NFL Giveth. NFL Taketh Away.

The Box congratulates Green Bay. That was a good Super Bowl, solid B+. The better team won; more importantly, the better team covered. So, as we slip harbor from NFL World and set course for …

February 9, 2011
L.A. to Dubai

Ever wonder what it’s like to sit at a poker table with a $2,000,000 pot? Not watch the game on TV or read about it on the internet, but sit at the table under insanely …

February 2, 2011
Gambling Is a Form of Hope

I’m Skyping with a woman I’ll call Jessie Shaw who lives in Martha’s Vineyard. We were partners a long time ago. Our liaison ended with a clean breakup followed by a five-year cool-off. Since then …

January 26, 2011
Bowling’s Back on Network TV!

I realize many of you were mindlessly following the sports fashion of the moment, watching the Packers and Falcons grind through another ho-hum NFL playoff game. Well, that’s too bad, especially since you could have …

January 19, 2011
Good Enough for Fourth Place

Monday morning...pick up bottle caps and scoop up bean dip from living-room rug. Looking back, I had a hunch the weekend was going to go badly. There was something about Saturday ante meridiem that had …

January 12, 2011
And the Winner of the Sporting Box Crowdsourcing Prize Is...

The wait is over. We can stand down, holler at the barkeep to bring a draft of grog and be quick about it. The results are in, the results have been tabulated, they have been …

January 5, 2011
Year in Review

The Box has next week off, which is a good thing in oh-so-many ways, headmost being the end-of-the-year-sports-wrap-up-and-awards column will appear one week early. And when you think about it, isn’t that what we all …

December 22, 2010
Second Annual Christmas Gift Guide

Because of the boffo response to last year’s Christmas column... You remember, it was a holiday shopping guide advising readers where to go on Christmas morning for that special sportspersonhood Christmas present. I don’t think …

December 15, 2010

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