NO, NOT REALLY — The Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla confirmed what everybody already knows today when it revealed that boys are genetically superior to girls. “And not just genetically,” says gene …
May 4, 2018
Almost Factual News
Science: girls have cooties
Fly away home(less)
NO, NOT REALLY — Last February , the City of San Diego bought a defunct downtown indoor skydiving facility for $7 million. Critics were quick to criticize the move, saying that the building was totally …
May 4, 2018
The old SONGS and dance routine
NO, NOT REALLY — Hi, everybody! My name is Homer Simpson, and I’m a nuclear safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in [REDACTED]. Don’t let the fact that I have yellow skin and …
April 20, 2018
Putting Eostre Back in Easter
NO, NOT REALLY — “Remember the fuss over the decision to change ‘Christmas on the Prado’ to ‘December Nights’?” asks Sandra Heathen-Druid. “All those people upset about taking Christ out of Christmas. But from the …
April 20, 2018
A bridge (joke) too far
NO, NOT REALLY — Kevin Whine, the new host of 97.3’s “Mo-Sho” morning show, just wanted to make a good impression upon his arrival from San Francisco. “The City had just come out with this …
April 6, 2018
Trump begins construction on Border Wall
NO, NOT REALLY — On March 25, President Trump tweeted that “work will start immediately” on the Great Border Wall. Few people believed him, but fewer still could have predicted that later that same day, …
April 6, 2018
San Diego's debt to Bob Filner
[Walter Mencken stands at a podium in the basement conference room of Cheetahs Gentlemen’s Club in Kearny Mesa and addresses his audience, a group of men reclining at table.]When Gloria Allred showed up alongside Mimi …
December 27, 2017
At least the Charger Girls aren’t heading north
Alternative Facts[The scene: the basement of Our Lady of Sorrows church, Mission Valley. A circle of chairs. A despondent array of suffering souls.]Grab some cake and shaddupPhoto by Andy Boyd Cake courtesy of <a href="http://thefrenchgourmet.com/">The …
February 15, 2017
James Thurber, Hunter Thompson, H.L. Mencken give thanks for new American president
SCENE: The Mencken dining room, Thanksgiving. In attendance are host Walter Mencken, English novelist Evelyn Waugh, writer and critic H.L. Mencken, Pogo Possum, Roman emperor Claudius, writer and humorist James Thurber, writer and agitator Hunter …
November 23, 2016
The Surreal McCoy’s final masterpiece?
Former Convadium Curator Wanker: “The loss to Miami featured four interceptions, including a pick-six with the score tied and a minute to play. Small wonder that McCoy, an artist and coach clearly in the throes …
November 19, 2016
San Diego bishop addresses bulletin controversy
Shortly before Election Day, the bulletin at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Old Town featured a flyer that warned, “It is a mortal sin to vote Democrat,” and that souls that died in the state …
November 12, 2016