The Art of the Steal
September 5, 2018
Almost Factual News
Gabby DiMarco elected to Beer Ball Hall of Fame on First Ballot
NO, NOT REALLY - Last January, the Hoff finally made the HoF: ace Padres reliever Trevor Hoffman, whose 601 saves are second only to Mariano Rivera, appeared on 79.9 percent of the ballots cast by …
June 22, 2018
San Diego State debuts new Spirit Leader
San Diego State University President Randy Rush today addressed the ongoing controversy surrounding the former mascot for the school’s athletic competitions. While the great marority of students, faculty, and alumnae favored maintaining a human Azetc …
June 22, 2018
Garbage Fire wins silver
NO, NOT REALLY - From the judges’ comments: “San Diego is not a city known for grand idiomatic gestures, so it was a welcome surprise to see it stage an actual garbage fire in a …
June 22, 2018
Siren song
NO, NOT REALLY — “Well, now we know why someone placed a fake mermaid on the rocks off Sunset Cliffs,” says San Diego Fish & Game’s head of code enforcement Howard Phillips. “She proved to …
June 8, 2018
Coast Guard seizes over 5000 pounds of cocaine
JUST ADORABLE, REALLY — Above, Coast Guard agents in San Diego proudly display palettes of cocaine seized from a boat in international waters off the Central American coast last week. In a related image, right, …
June 8, 2018
"Porn has already shown them everything!"
NO, NOT REALLY — “Thanks to PornHub.com, 12-year-old kids already know about fisting, felching, scat play, trannys, grannys, Georgy Porgy Orgies, and all the rest of it,” laments concerned mother Chastity Rose (above right) as …
June 8, 2018
San Diego, America's Finest Drone Zone
NO, NOT REALLY: Your daughter, shielding her face from a peeping drone (shadow in upper left corner). “Soon, this sort of thing will be a thing of the past,” says Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao. “The …
May 25, 2018
The Kardashian Konundrum
NO, NOT REALLY — Interim DA Summer Stephan: “People should rise through their chain from deputy public defender to becoming a trusted team leader and making reforms that way, rather than really what is the …
May 25, 2018
Win/Loss, Gwynn/Gloss
NO, NOT REALLY: What’s in a name? “Some people are calling it an act of vandalism that dishonors the memory of a champion,” says Padres General Manager B.J. Stellar. “But it’s important not to get …
May 25, 2018
Quiz time!
a) Sauron’s orcish horde storming Helm’s Deep in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? b) Victims of the Zombie Plague swarming up the walls of Jerusalem in World War Z? c) The White …
May 4, 2018