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Oh, Lord... Weighed myself yesterday. This lousy machine I stood on said 210 pounds. I’ve never been 210 pounds!

"Bedford, you’ve gotta get off your duff and jump up and down a bit,” says Carla. “And eat less! Eat nuts and twigs!”

Which is why I’m in here at the Fern Street Café (1947 Fern Street, South Park, 619-237-1177). The place reeks green everything. “We have wheatgrass!” says the blackboard outside. “Try our açai bowl. Home made soup, hummus. Raw juice.”


The green canopies have things like “Faith in Food,” and “Be Well!” painted on them.


What puts me over the top is I can hear Janice Joplin belting out “Take it! Take another little piece of my heart now, baby…”

Inside it’s big, airy...


...and at one end, two gals and a guy kinda waiting, knives at the ready. Savina, Alex, Fadi.




Savina (left) and Alex

“Something healthy,” I say.

“An organic raw juice?” says Fadi. “‘The Liver Cleanse’ is good. Pink grapefruit, lemon, lime, olive oil, $4.25…”

"Uh, not sure I'm ready for that. Early in the day..."

What I need is something healthy, but to eat.

So Fadi points to one of the veggie-only sandwiches, The Fir. (Each sandwich is named after a street around here.) “Ultimate veggie on squaw, with cheddar, lettuce, tomatoes, onion, avocado, bell peppers, sprouts, banana peppers, mayo, urban mustard.” Whatever urban mustard is.

But I go for it. Just so I can tell the lovely Carla I didn’t eat no meat today.

It’s $5.75.


Then I figure I may as well have a smoothie, because Fadi says they’re really good for you. Specially, like, the Hangover Remedy (apple juice, pineapple, banana, electrolytres ($3.75 for 16 ounces).

“Or the ‘Tee Off’,” he says. “It has walnuts. They’re so good. Also soymilk, honey, and non-fat vanilla frozen yogurt. Same price.”

Turns out the sandwich has quite a bit of flavor for nuts and twigs. And so much of it...


The smoothie, well, good if you’re into vanilla. I cling on to the honey taste.


Meanwhile, Janice has moved on to “Bobby McGee.” I’m sitting in the sun at the window they’re going to take out so they’ll have inside-outside seating. That’ll be good. Also they have an area with couches so you can hang out, take a nap, whatever.


’Course now, too late, I see they have a bargain deal, half a sandwich and soup for $6.15. I’m spending $9.50.


What's more I can’t finish the sandwich. But - heh heh - can take it home to Carla the carnivore. See if she’s gonna put her mouth where her money is. At least she’ll know I’m keeping the beansprout faith.

Can’t wait to weigh myself tomorrow morning.

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