QUICKENING MY PACE AS I PASS THE NEWSPAPER RACKS, DOWNTOWN — In honor of Valentine's Day, both the San Diego Reader and San Diego CityBeat released their annual sex-themed issues today. And as usual, both …
February 14, 2014
Almost Factual News
Alt-Sexy?
Cop Accused of Multiple Sexual Assaults Pleads Not Guilty
Statement from SDPD Chief Laydown: "In every case, Officer Hays was acting on credible tips from concerned citizens in downtown bars. One woman was said to be carrying 'sweater bombs,' another, 'a pair of bazookas,' …
February 13, 2014
On eve of election, Alvarez campaign seeks to distance itself from Cheech & Chong endorsement
THINKING ABOUT MAYBE VOTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE, BARRIO LOGAN — Mayoral candidate David Alvarez's campaign manager today issued a semi-formal quasi-disavowal of a pro-Alvarez endorsement from the famed Latino comedy duo of Cheech Marin and …
February 10, 2014
On eve of election, Faulconer campaign distances itself from problematic ad
GIRDING MY LOINS FOR THE COMING TRIBULATION, GOLDEN HALL — Mayoral candidate Kevin Faulconer's campaign manager today issued a semi-formal quasi-disavowal of a pro-Faulconer ad placed in local shopping circulars by the Sons of Free …
February 10, 2014
Was Dumanis DUPED?
FOLLOWING THE MONEY IN CIRCLES, DOWNTOWN — District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis received over 25 different contributions to her terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad mayoral campaign that were in some way connected to Azano Matsura, the …
February 6, 2014
SeaWorld Sends Much Maligned Whale to Debate Young Local Activist
TRYING TO TIME MY CAMERA TO CATCH THAT FIRST SPURT OF BLOOD, SEAWORLD — When young Max Guinn sees a problem, he sets out to do something about it. Guinn, the cofounder of Kids Eco …
February 6, 2014
SD Water Authority: "Pine Valley has water! Kill them and take their water!"
ALL ALONG THE WATCHTOWER, PINE VALLEY — "We always knew this day would come," said Jedidiah McTavish, his eyes fixed on the interstate that would inevitably bring the marauding hordes to his doorstep, gallon jugs …
January 31, 2014
Old Person: San Diego's Biggest Priority Should Be Old People
TURNING UP MY HEARING AID SO AS NOT TO MISS A WORD — "The State of your County Government is good," said Dianne Jacob, speaking slowly and distinctly to her visibly graying audience. "But I …
January 30, 2014
Ramona Egg Farmer Investigated for Solitary Acts of Abuse
A 56-year-old employee of the Pine Hill Egg Ranch is currently under investigation by the District Attorney for the abuse of several chickens under his care. The chickens, which had slowed in their production, possibly …
January 23, 2014
Alleged masterminds behind North Park–based sex-trafficking ring release hit single to raise money for defense
KEEPIN’ IT REAL IN NORTH PARK — On January 8, U.S. attorney Laura Duffy unsealed federal indictments against 24 defendants, alleged members of a sex-trafficking ring based out of San Diego. The alleged crimes took …
January 17, 2014
Latest Leaked Snowden Documents Reveal Collaboration Between Government, Disney, and Local Dronemaker
Disney Exec to General Atomics COO: "If we could make people sympathize with an ecosystem's top predator (LION KING), we can make them sympathize with a robot death plane."
January 10, 2014