In news we sincerely wish was merely almost factual, San Diego has had its first confirmed cases of coronavirus, otherwise known as COVID-19, otherwise known as we’re all gonna die. In news we even more …
February 21, 2020
Almost Factual News
Coronavirus arrives in San Diego
Balboa Park to tear up a parking lot
Last week, Balboa Park announced plans to remove nearly 150 parking places currently situated in the park’s South Palisades region, and to replace them with the promenade laid out in the park’s master plan of …
February 21, 2020
LA Rivers runs out of town
Last week, Chargers management revealed their intention to part ways with longtime quarterback Philip Rivers after 16 tumultuous seasons. Owner Dean Spanos released this statement to the press following the announcement. “For many years, Philip …
February 21, 2020
City Attorney Elliott: Take no part in the untruthful works of darkness, but instead expose them!
Recently, City Attorney Mara Elliott declared that she was not going to turn her back on “a powerful crime-solving tool that removes murderers and rapists from our streets” — namely, smart street lights that record …
February 7, 2020
Scott Eastwood follows his father into the Wild West
They tried to kill his beloved Marisol. They tried hanging their spiteful signs all over town. But Scott Eastwood is a man who will go to any measure for his beloved Measure G!
February 7, 2020
Grab these Concrete Breasts
Never mind the original Maltese Falcon or Luke’s lightsaber from A New Hope; now you can own one of the truly great pieces of movie memorabilia! As the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station begins its …
February 7, 2020
Operation Briar Patch
Statement from Border Patrol Gardener Mel Eficent (left): “The Border Patrol deeply regrets its overreach in bulldozing the border garden at Friendship Park, which has for so long served as a symbol of the harmony …
February 7, 2020
Symbol of equality ground underfoot in hateful Hillcrest crosswalk prank
Two weeks ago, Hillcrest residents woke to a horrible surprise: a vandal had replaced the white stripes of a heavily trafficked neighborhood crosswalk with the colors of both the iconic rainbow flag and the more …
January 24, 2020
Pornhub protests purity probe prohibition
San Diego Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzales recently introduced AB 1909 into the California legislature. If passed, the bill would outlaw virginity testing — the inspection of the hymen to determine whether or not it is intact. …
January 24, 2020
Andy Green Does Baseball
Earlier this month, San Diego Superior Court Judge Kevin Enright awarded $12.75 million to 22 women who claimed that the operators of the website GirlsDoPorn.com tricked them into, well, doing porn. Though the women signed …
January 24, 2020
Slow and Steady Galapagos tortoise Wins the Race at the San Diego Zoo
When the San Diego Zoo sent Diego the tortoise to the Galapagos Islands in 1977, there were only two makes of his species left there. But over the next 40 years, the rapacious reptile fathered …
January 24, 2020