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Dear Hipster:

Why is there no grape ice cream? #lifeslittlemysteries.

— Cici

A surprising glut of insane theories surrounds the nonexistence of grape ice cream. Believe none of them. Corporate America (responsible for all but a vanishingly small number of ice creams sold in this country) safely assumes nobody would buy grape ice cream. But I bet I know who would buy grape ice cream. Yeah. That’s right. Hipsters at fashionable restaurants, that’s who, preferably as the finishing course of a protracted brunch eaten as compensation for the previous night’s overzealous partying.

Honestly, I wish there was a restaurant specializing in counterintuitive foods: grape ice cream, spicy breakfast cereal, liquid meats — bring it on! I would totally go there exactly once, and it would definitely go out of business in a hot minute, but I would like to see it.

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