A couple of weird criminal stories from a few weeks ago I wanted to comment on.

In Seattle, a man who claimed to be a ninja was hurt. I’ll give you a few guesses:

A) He threw a defective ninja star, that came around like a boomerang and hit him in the forehead. B) He hit himself in the crotch with his nunchucks (I did that as a kid. Not fun). C) He threw his entire body into a kick, missing his target and landing on the ground, separating two ribs. D) He tried to karate chop a brick, but instead of breaking it, broke two fingers. E) He impaled himself on a metal fence as he tried leaping over it.

If you guessed E, you’ve just won. A severe beating for two awaits you at the Reader offices.

It’s east to have no sympathy for the Emerald City Ninja, when you realize he assaulted someone first.

The police didn’t move him, because they thought they might do more damage. I’m guessing a few probably laughed, though.

The fence Ninja boy tried to clear was over four feet tall. Police issued that one statement that doesn’t have to be uttered: alcohol was involved.

A case a little farther south and closer to home, involves the police captain that won’t be held criminally liable for shooting his 25-year-old son during an attack on his wife.

He was cleared, as it was determined he was within his rights to defend the family when he fired shots in his Fallbrook home.

What baffles me is that he was originally charged with attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon, and that he plead guilty to one charge and was sentenced to a year in jail.

He has returned to duty, which makes me wonder how someone can plead guilty to something, and still get a job carrying a gun. Don’t get me wrong, after reading about the case, I don’t think he did anything wrong. But I thought the police were super strict about this type of thing.

I’m more puzzled with why they let their son in the house. He had struggled with schizophrenia since his teen years, and his girlfriend had called the parents saying he was acting strange and hadn’t taken his medication.

Years earlier, this kid beat his father, fracturing his eye socket, nose, and chipping a tooth. A year ago, he grabbed his sister by the neck and slammed her into a door.

With a history like that, why are you letting him inside your house?

It all reminds me of a scene from a Spike Lee movie, when Samuel Jackson returns home as a crackhead looking for money. The mom is sympathetic. The father isn’t, and ends up shooting him in the stomach.

In real life, Marvin Gaye was shot by his father, after moving back home and being paid several visits from drug dealers.

Those cases involved drug addiction. But no matter what it involves…if you have a kid that does crazy stuff, letting them inside your home seems like the last thing you do.

Even if in the case of Marvin Gaye, he probably bought his folks the home.