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Stories by Josh Board

Banana Man

The Saturday before Halloween, I had over 50 party invitations. Folks in Murrieta said they'd prepare a guest room for me. Another invite enticed me with strippers on stripper poles. I chose five parties to …

November 9, 2006
Fuzzy Little Hats

When I was a kid, I saw a Shriner wearing a fez in Kearny Mesa. It reminded me of Tom Bosley's character, "Mr. C.," on Happy Days, who would sometimes wear those fuzzy hats. (And …

November 2, 2006
Russians

I had to interview a bartender in PB for an article that I was working on, and as I walked back to my car around 9:00 p.m., I overheard a group of people talking about …

October 26, 2006
Roller Derby Queen

I heard about a party for a company called CH1 Productions. As I drove to the Clairemont location, I assumed it would be in a studio, but it was a house with a RockStar Energy …

October 19, 2006
Seas the Day

For a party at the Coronado Yacht Club, I would be picked up by a dinghy and taken to a yacht. Tourists crowded Coronado that weekend, and I had trouble finding the place. When I …

October 12, 2006
The King's Things

'It's a Budweiser and badminton bash," Brandon said when he invited me to his son's birthday party at Balboa Park. I had plans that day but had to know what people called a "shuttlecock" after …

October 5, 2006
Rhymes With Kuwait

Last week a guy called my voicemail to tell me that I got the NBA logo wrong. I wrote that it was Jerry West, and the caller insisted it was Pete Maravich. He should have …

September 28, 2006
Wingmen

Friends often ask if they can join me for the parties I write about. If I'm crashing a party, it's more difficult when I have people with me. If I've been invited to the party, …

September 21, 2006
New Way to Fly

On September 11, 2001, local country singer Ronny Corbin was a pilot for United Airlines. "The morning started with the 90-mile drive from my then--San Marcos home to LAX. My captain and I had been …

September 7, 2006
Lock Up

An employee of Island Prime Steakhouse on Harbor Island Drive called to tell me about an event there, a fundraiser for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. The event was called "Lock Up," and it would begin …

September 7, 2006
Keep Your Skin On

Kayla Morales called to tell me about a party raising funds for her motorcycle-racing pursuits. She knew a lot about the sport and was informative. She talked about wanting to go to Nashville to race. …

August 31, 2006
I Made an Alligator

When I go to an art party, I never know what to expect. Sometimes the art is interesting. When it's not interesting, I say it's not my cup of tea. I was invited to an …

August 24, 2006
Shadow Boxer

I was invited to a gay pride party on July 29, when the Pride parade would pass through Joseph's neighborhood. Getting to the party was difficult, however, as University Avenue was closed, and 100,000 people …

August 17, 2006
Beer, Blondes, and More Beer

A friend called to tell me about a party she was crashing in Mission Valley. Country singer Kenny Chesney was there. (I recognized the name from his two-month marriage to Renée Zellweger.) One of Chesney's …

Comic Conclave

During last year's Comic-Con, I got a call informing me about a party at a hotel downtown. The agent from New York rattled off an A-list of stars who would be there but finished saying, …

August 3, 2006
I’ll Miss You

Several musicians I know have had their CD release parties this past month. Steph Johnson and Greg Laswell played at different venues on Kettner. Cathryn Beeks hosted a picnic. But CD release parties aren't parties; …

July 27, 2006
Not-So-Cool Beans

The all-age Bean Bar venue (and coffeehouse) on Rosecrans Street recently stopped booking local bands. Rick Dieterle, who manages the place, says, "We just didn't have the capacity for it. I wanted to do things …

July 27, 2006
Two Mondays

When Melissa invited me to a Fourth of July party, she said we'd be able to see fireworks shot from four different locations. She failed to mention, however, that her fiancé would be shooting some …

July 20, 2006
Red Curb

I went to a Fourth of July party on July 1. When I got the call from Eric, he left a weird message. He told me there would be a dunk tank, lots of games, …

July 13, 2006
On The Bus

Months ago, I decided to go to an art party in North Park after a racquetball game. It wasn't the best idea. It was a weeknight and I would be all sweaty. I planned to …

July 6, 2006
Mojito Mixer

I arrived at Armando's 40th birthday party in a bad mood. I was invited by his girlfriend Laurie. She and I talked on the phone, and I learned that they had worked together and dated …

June 29, 2006
Talk Jocks

Radio station 103.7 changed its format from classic rock to talk radio. Listeners disapproved, but was it necessary to have two stations in town playing Boston, Journey, and Heart? And 103.7's new shows are funny. …

Thong on Fire

Mary Jo and her friends Jackie, Mary Ellen, and Kelly decided to form an organization that "fights frump," an anti-Red Hat Society. A friend once told Mary Jo, "We don't see you wearing a red …

June 15, 2006
The Little Enabler

At the Belly Up Tavern I overheard some girls talking about a Memorial Day party. I asked them if I could go. Two of them looked at me as if I was crazy, but one …

June 8, 2006
Three Slushees, Two Pools, One Old Lady

A party I went to in Clairemont had trouble written all over it. The host had a live band in a residential area, and he took down the fence separating his house from his neighbor's …

June 1, 2006
Hot Topics

I didn't have to travel far to the firefighter party in Little Italy's Firehouse Museum, but firefighters came from all over the U.S. and other countries to attend this party. I was told there were …

May 25, 2006
Thousands of Jars of Mayonnaise

I was invited to a Cinco de Mayo party at the Wave House in Mission Beach. The producer of a radio show on Free FM 103.7 called and told me that I would be able …

May 18, 2006
Cowboy Caviar

I hit two parties in one day. The first was an afternoon affair in PB. A guy named Bruce wanted to get rid of a bunch of Rocky Mountain oysters, or as he called them, …

Belly Up to the Band

During Devendra Banhart's near-sold-out show at the Belly Up Tavern on April 27, the performer said he needed a beer and then left the stage for a few minutes. While onstage, Banhart asked if there …

May 11, 2006
Purge and Rally

March was an active month for parties -- St. Patrick's Day, March Madness, National Corn Dog Day. You didn't know there was a Corn Dog Day? Neither did I. A group of UCSD students did, …

May 4, 2006
Passion Play

I was flipping through the channels at 3 a.m. one sleepless night and caught a Montel Williams episode in which ladies were throwing a Passion Party. I flipped through Girls Gone Wild commercials to midgets …

April 27, 2006
Train Hits Casino

Carlos told me about friends of his, two girls who live together and have the same birthday. He invited me to meet them at Wild Woolly's, a bar in Chula Vista. I got there at …

April 20, 2006
Smiles for Miles

I've gone to parties that lasted until morning light but never to a party that started in the morning. Until last month, when I went to a US Airways event that started at 9:00 a.m. …

April 13, 2006
Multicultural Mixers

Tiffany was turning 30 and hosting a party in the clubhouse of her Mission Valley apartment complex. I got there a few minutes after 7 p.m. as she was setting up, so I shot pool …

Tortilla Toss

Our first day in Rosarito Beach we held the tortilla toss. This being the group's 32nd annual party, bragging rights were at stake. Bragging rights and a cheesy trophy -- a guy throwing a discus. …

March 30, 2006
Bus Bash

For the past 30 years, Larry has been traveling south of the border to party on his birthday. He and his friend Mary McDonald charter a bus and pile all their friends into it for …

March 23, 2006
The Shoes and Gloves Come Off

My friend Sally threw a birthday party for her sister Julie at the Old Town Saloon. When I arrived, Julie was showing off a ring that she received as a gift. I didn't know Julie …

March 16, 2006
George and Jack

At the Coaster Saloon at 1:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning, Mike Tyler drank Jack and Cokes and checked out the small jukebox mounted on the wall. I asked him what song he was looking …

March 16, 2006
Wordsmiths and Shutterbugs

Local paper Word San Diego invited me to their 3rd Annual Anti-Social Writers Party. I was told the $10 cover at the door was to keep the publication running. I threw in the cash and …

March 9, 2006
Cool Hot Mom

I met Larry, a teacher, at parties I had crashed. When he invited me to a party that he was hosting, I was eager to attend. Larry's party was early in the evening. I'd be …

March 2, 2006
Parker Nut Farm

Aretha Franklin thought there should have been more Motown artists performing at this year's Super Bowl in Detroit, but I think it was fitting that the Rolling Stones played the halftime show -- the band …

February 23, 2006
The Green Flash

Two weeks before the Super Bowl, the conference championship games were played to determine what teams would make it to the big dance. Paul, a guy I know from my fantasy football league, thought he'd …

February 16, 2006
I’m With Beast

An invitation to a party at a Point Loma apartment instructed me to wear an obnoxious shirt, preferably one that would offend. I put on a T-shirt that had "I see dumb people" printed on …

February 9, 2006
My Other Shirt Is Hawaiian

I went to a luau at a home off Murray Ridge. As I was getting ready to go there, I got a call from a guy driving to San Diego from Phoenix. He had a …

February 2, 2006
Jukebox Stakeout

At Victor's, on Convoy Street in Kearny Mesa, I saw a few regulars that work for Pepsi, which is around the corner. Howie Ouzts, a 34-year-old driver, shot pool and downed Coors Lights. When he …

February 2, 2006
The Bride, The Groom, The Hostess

I have been getting requests to crash weddings. The calls have been frequent since the release of Wedding Crashers on DVD. One guy left a message that his boss was getting married at the Hotel …

January 26, 2006
Jukebox Stakeout

At the Tomcat Bar and Grill in Mira Mesa last Thursday, Judy Wenker slipped some quarters into the machine. What song brings back a memory? "The Doors, 'Light My Fire,' " she said. "I sometimes …

January 19, 2006
The Bear of Lemon Grove

I went to two parties in Lemon Grove. Sam threw the first one. His guests were all over 40. The second party, a crew in their early 20s, was hosted by Dave. This was my …

January 19, 2006
Ms. Simon’s Century

I got an invitation for a New York party. I thought that was a long way to go until, reading on, I realized that it was in Rancho Santa Fe. There's always great food and …

January 12, 2006
Meanwhile, Behind the Sports Arena...

When I went to see Le Tigre at Soma sometime last year, I drove past the Hancock Café on Hancock Street, behind Soma and the Sports Arena. A "live music" sign caught my eye, as …

January 5, 2006

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