No houses face onto the roadway, which bisects a block. That’s an alley, right?
February 22, 2019
Almost Factual News
Backhanded Compliment?
Business 101: Eliminating Redundancy
Last year, local tech giant Qualcomm survived a hostile takeover bid from Broadcom technologies — a company which, perhaps tellingly, had only one M in its name. Part of their strategy involved a pledge to …
February 22, 2019
Looking to AIDS to Aid the Homeless
“The suffering has to end,” says local homosexual Augustus Cheek of Hillcrest’s enduring homelessness crisis. “You have people sleeping in doorways, on sidewalks, in the parts of Balboa Park that used to be reserved for …
February 22, 2019
Science or Sorcery?
The 2006 La Mesa sword murder of Scott Martinez was colder than the cold steel of a murderous sword, despite the blood possibly belonging to the killer found on the scene. Cold, that is, until …
February 22, 2019
St. Paul’s Above It All
“It’s true that Greystar’s proposed project is 50 feet taller than anything else along the edge of the Park,” said St. Paul’s Dean, the Most Extremely Very Reverend and Remunerated Cash Munny, “and that its …
February 8, 2019
Is The Happening’s Happening Happening?
Twist-happy movie director M. Night Shyamalan is riding high these days after his 2016 horror hit Split allowed him to revisit the superhero universe he created with 2000s Unbreakable and so create this year’s successful …
February 8, 2019
Faulconer's State of the City: "You don't have to be crazy to live here...but it helps!"
“It seemed like the right thing to do,” said Mayor Faulconer about the decision to give his annual State of the City address from within the sinkhole, which opened last week on the 805’s Kearny …
January 25, 2019
And now, a word from our sponsor
“To be alive is to suffer,” says Jeff Benum, Chief Anesthetizing Officer for NarcoCorp, makers of Actiq, one of the fentanyl brands that has come under fire following a year that saw a 155% increase …
January 25, 2019
Horned zoo filler strikes again at San Diego Safari Park
On December 29, a roughly six-month old baby giraffe named Kumi was discovered on the grounds of the San Diego Zoo Safari Park with a gore wound to his stomach. When the wound proved inoperable, …
January 25, 2019
The (Central) American Dream
“In 2011, there were 86.5. murders per 100,000 people in Honduras, making it one of the deadliest cities in the world,” says Mexican migrant Rafael Torres. “So naturally, when I heard that Hondurans were headed …
January 11, 2019
Clawstrophobia
“We’ve learned our lesson, yes we have,” says San Onofre Nuclear Powderkeg spokesman Ray D’Ashun. “It’s true that we probably shouldn’t have bought those crummy steam generators from Mitsubishi, the ones whose failure resulted in …
January 11, 2019