This was the first time a theatrical release in the Star Wars canon was spun out of a TV show, and whoa buddy does it show. They were obviously assuming the audience would know all the backstory for this Boba Fett-type fellow and some little Yoda-esque turd. But I didn’t have a clue, and was lost throughout the ordeal.
Not that it mattered much. This was the very definition of a popcorn movie. In fact, it wasn't even a film as much as it was just a series of vignettes and random experiences designed for corporate fungibility. Here’s a cool chase with some Blade Runner rainy dystopian vibes! Now here’s a wicked gladiatorial scene with a Hutt as the focal point. Oh snap! Here’s a badass fight sequence where the Mandalorian guy goes all John Wick…
What it fundamentally lacks is much of a plot, thematic relevance, or characters we might — just might — give even a modicum of a hoot about. The bounty hunter was supposed to be rescuing the aforementioned gladiator (Jabba the Hutt’s son) for cash money, and Hutt Jr.'s moral conundrums and struggles with his father’s legacy were probably the only slightly enticing sub-plot in the whole film. It says a lot when a fat, poorly rendered CGI green blob has the most emotional depth in your picture. Even George Lucas’ hamfisted prequels had some humanity coursing through their veins.
I came across a term recently called the “enshittification” of everything. Perhaps we can say that’s synonymous with the “Disneyfication” of anything? The whole affair reeked of some suits cackling madly in an office about all the product tie-ins and other tertiary moneygrabs which could be had from such a braindead affair. While it’s been widely acknowledged as a box-office mega flop, Disney CEO Josh D’Amaro recently noted that despite the theatrical shortfall, the movie still helped fuel merchandise sales, gaming engagement, and theme park visits. Exactly. Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.
This was the first time a theatrical release in the Star Wars canon was spun out of a TV show, and whoa buddy does it show. They were obviously assuming the audience would know all the backstory for this Boba Fett-type fellow and some little Yoda-esque turd. But I didn’t have a clue, and was lost throughout the ordeal.
Not that it mattered much. This was the very definition of a popcorn movie. In fact, it wasn't even a film as much as it was just a series of vignettes and random experiences designed for corporate fungibility. Here’s a cool chase with some Blade Runner rainy dystopian vibes! Now here’s a wicked gladiatorial scene with a Hutt as the focal point. Oh snap! Here’s a badass fight sequence where the Mandalorian guy goes all John Wick…
What it fundamentally lacks is much of a plot, thematic relevance, or characters we might — just might — give even a modicum of a hoot about. The bounty hunter was supposed to be rescuing the aforementioned gladiator (Jabba the Hutt’s son) for cash money, and Hutt Jr.'s moral conundrums and struggles with his father’s legacy were probably the only slightly enticing sub-plot in the whole film. It says a lot when a fat, poorly rendered CGI green blob has the most emotional depth in your picture. Even George Lucas’ hamfisted prequels had some humanity coursing through their veins.
I came across a term recently called the “enshittification” of everything. Perhaps we can say that’s synonymous with the “Disneyfication” of anything? The whole affair reeked of some suits cackling madly in an office about all the product tie-ins and other tertiary moneygrabs which could be had from such a braindead affair. While it’s been widely acknowledged as a box-office mega flop, Disney CEO Josh D’Amaro recently noted that despite the theatrical shortfall, the movie still helped fuel merchandise sales, gaming engagement, and theme park visits. Exactly. Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.
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