Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Hipsters are not required to give up their skinny jeans by age 30

If the hipster world is anything like Middle Earth, Frodo hasn’t even left the Shire yet.

Logan's Run doesn't fit bill as frightening hipster allegory
Logan's Run doesn't fit bill as frightening hipster allegory

Hipster:

How long have you had your column? Isn’t there some rule that says you’ve aged out of hipsterdom? Don’t hipsters follow a modified Logan’s Run rule? What gives?

Sponsored
Sponsored

— Dan

Dan. My man. Haven’t I made it clear before? Hipsters don’t age, they just change scene. In the past two and a half years, I have barely scratched the surface of this topic.

They say that 86 percent of the world’s species remain unknown. I would hazard that 99.9 percent of the world’s hipsters remain undescribed by science. Clearly, my mission is vast and (ahem) deserving of many large government grants.

If hipsterism is a finite natural resource, we are still in the early days of the Texas oil boom. If the hipster world is anything like Middle Earth, Frodo hasn’t even left the Shire yet. If explaining all that is hipster is the literary equivalent of a roomful of monkeys typing out the Great American Novel, well, the monkeys and I are only halfway through Edgar Huntley 1 and I need to take a break to unstick the keys on my vintage Underwood.

If a thousand hipsters snarked for a thousand years, they could barely begin to describe all the random hipster shit I have yet to translate into 550 pithy words of “wisdom” every week.

The job is not yet done, my friend, so stick with me.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Homeless tiny homes shifted to Lemon Grove

If Spring Valley doesn't take them....
Logan's Run doesn't fit bill as frightening hipster allegory
Logan's Run doesn't fit bill as frightening hipster allegory

Hipster:

How long have you had your column? Isn’t there some rule that says you’ve aged out of hipsterdom? Don’t hipsters follow a modified Logan’s Run rule? What gives?

Sponsored
Sponsored

— Dan

Dan. My man. Haven’t I made it clear before? Hipsters don’t age, they just change scene. In the past two and a half years, I have barely scratched the surface of this topic.

They say that 86 percent of the world’s species remain unknown. I would hazard that 99.9 percent of the world’s hipsters remain undescribed by science. Clearly, my mission is vast and (ahem) deserving of many large government grants.

If hipsterism is a finite natural resource, we are still in the early days of the Texas oil boom. If the hipster world is anything like Middle Earth, Frodo hasn’t even left the Shire yet. If explaining all that is hipster is the literary equivalent of a roomful of monkeys typing out the Great American Novel, well, the monkeys and I are only halfway through Edgar Huntley 1 and I need to take a break to unstick the keys on my vintage Underwood.

If a thousand hipsters snarked for a thousand years, they could barely begin to describe all the random hipster shit I have yet to translate into 550 pithy words of “wisdom” every week.

The job is not yet done, my friend, so stick with me.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Black man helped Don Bauder in J. David case

Freight train jumper excited reader
Next Article

Lithium-ion battery fires in East Village, Barrio Logan, Otay Mesa

How to avoid the danger
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.