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Late Night Laughs

I love watching Letterman and Conan, and going to Jimmy Kimmel during the commercials.

Last night, Paula Abdul was a guest on Leno, whose show I never watch (unless there's a commercial on the other channels and I actually know where the remote is).

Comedian Andy Dick was on Kimmel, talking about how he's going thru rehab.

And, both of those people have done talk shows where they seemed stoned out of their minds.

So, you know what was so odd? They sounded normal, and it was Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman that was the most incoherent.

He came out with a huge beard and sunglasses, looking like Jim Morrison a few days before he croaked.

He was chewing gum and not answering questions. When he did answer a question it was with a mumble, or a one word answer. Letterman said, "How was your time with the Unabomber?"

But I think an older, wiser Letterman, decided he'd have fun with it. The old days, in the early 80s, it would've been Letterman feeling uncomfortable, and Cher cursing at him before walking off.

Instead, when Letterman asked about the great new film he did, and he couldn't tell him the name of a co-star, Letterman asked what he did know.

When Letterman said he thought it was based on a book, and there was no response, he asked how it is he doesn't know that information. Phoenix said, "Well, I haven't seen the movie yet."

When it was time to set up the clip (I've heard talk show hosts say they hate when a guest doesn't know what the clip is, when it's their film that's being promoted)...he didn't know the scene. Letterman said, "Of course you don't."

At another point Letterman said, "Maybe I'll come to your house sometime and chew gum."

There was another moment when Phoenix yelled at Paul Schaffer for laughing at him, using a curse word that was beeped out.

Phoenix got angry at Letterman too, and said "Is that what this is about? Okay, I'll get rid of the gum." He then put it underneath the desk. I don't think Phoenix realizes, gum chewing wouldn't have bothered Letterman, if you were also talking. But when you sit there not talking, and just smacking your gum....

When asked about his new beard, he didn't have a response. When Letterman told him it's a shame he's leaving acting (as he's said in various interviews), no response. Letterman continued, talking about how great he sang in WALK THE LINE, and his future music career. Phoenix replied, "I'm not doing that kind of music. I'm doing hip-hop." The crowd laughed, thinking it was a joke. Phoenix was visibly upset as he looked at the crowd, because he was serious.

He then said he'd come back on Lettermans show and perform his music. Letterman sarcastically said something along the lines of, "Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen." The crowd laughed, and Phoenix was embarrassed. After an awkward silence Letterman said "We'll keep you in the roledex."

I swear, me explaining it does it no justice. It's another example of an idiot actor, trying to show a bit of attitude. And sure, he may also be shy. But still...once Letterman starts asking questions, and he intros you by saying how great the movie is...it shouldn't be hard to loosen up and talk.

Letterman ended the interview by saying "Thanks for not being here tonight." He then apologized to Farrah Fawcett.

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I love watching Letterman and Conan, and going to Jimmy Kimmel during the commercials.

Last night, Paula Abdul was a guest on Leno, whose show I never watch (unless there's a commercial on the other channels and I actually know where the remote is).

Comedian Andy Dick was on Kimmel, talking about how he's going thru rehab.

And, both of those people have done talk shows where they seemed stoned out of their minds.

So, you know what was so odd? They sounded normal, and it was Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman that was the most incoherent.

He came out with a huge beard and sunglasses, looking like Jim Morrison a few days before he croaked.

He was chewing gum and not answering questions. When he did answer a question it was with a mumble, or a one word answer. Letterman said, "How was your time with the Unabomber?"

But I think an older, wiser Letterman, decided he'd have fun with it. The old days, in the early 80s, it would've been Letterman feeling uncomfortable, and Cher cursing at him before walking off.

Instead, when Letterman asked about the great new film he did, and he couldn't tell him the name of a co-star, Letterman asked what he did know.

When Letterman said he thought it was based on a book, and there was no response, he asked how it is he doesn't know that information. Phoenix said, "Well, I haven't seen the movie yet."

When it was time to set up the clip (I've heard talk show hosts say they hate when a guest doesn't know what the clip is, when it's their film that's being promoted)...he didn't know the scene. Letterman said, "Of course you don't."

At another point Letterman said, "Maybe I'll come to your house sometime and chew gum."

There was another moment when Phoenix yelled at Paul Schaffer for laughing at him, using a curse word that was beeped out.

Phoenix got angry at Letterman too, and said "Is that what this is about? Okay, I'll get rid of the gum." He then put it underneath the desk. I don't think Phoenix realizes, gum chewing wouldn't have bothered Letterman, if you were also talking. But when you sit there not talking, and just smacking your gum....

When asked about his new beard, he didn't have a response. When Letterman told him it's a shame he's leaving acting (as he's said in various interviews), no response. Letterman continued, talking about how great he sang in WALK THE LINE, and his future music career. Phoenix replied, "I'm not doing that kind of music. I'm doing hip-hop." The crowd laughed, thinking it was a joke. Phoenix was visibly upset as he looked at the crowd, because he was serious.

He then said he'd come back on Lettermans show and perform his music. Letterman sarcastically said something along the lines of, "Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen." The crowd laughed, and Phoenix was embarrassed. After an awkward silence Letterman said "We'll keep you in the roledex."

I swear, me explaining it does it no justice. It's another example of an idiot actor, trying to show a bit of attitude. And sure, he may also be shy. But still...once Letterman starts asking questions, and he intros you by saying how great the movie is...it shouldn't be hard to loosen up and talk.

Letterman ended the interview by saying "Thanks for not being here tonight." He then apologized to Farrah Fawcett.

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