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Kissing Cousins (errr, mothers) and Interracial Dating

In a Dear Abby column from a few days ago, a woman talked about being concerned for her nephen and how he always hugged and kissed on his mother. He's a teenager now and it seems weird to her. People in line at stores even comment on how bizarre it is. She's mentioned it to her sister, who says she's being too critical.

Abby responded that the nephew just appears to be a sweat, affectionate young man who is close to his mother.

Incredible. I would have said if other people think something looks weird, it probably is weird.

I remember being 11-years-old, and a guy moved onto my street that was divorced. He had his son on weekends, who was a year younger than I. We went to a few Clippers and Padres games, and a few times I spent the night. I remember thinking how odd it was that the father was always hugging and kissing his son. I think my mom told me at the time, that since he only sees him on weekends, he's probably just a lot more affectionate. And that made sense.

But we'd sit in the living room and watching TV, and this man would be laying on the couch, with his son embraced in his arms. For an hour straight. It just seemed odd (and uncomfortable).

It always amazes me when adults don't realize what an appropriate amount of affection is for kids. It could be Michael Jackson. It could be adults with children at nudist colonies. Certain things just aren't appropriate for kids.

Anyway...there's a syndicated column called "Tell Me About It," that is a "Dear Abby" style column, answered by Caroline Hax.

In this mornings Union-Tribune, a question came out about a woman who had friends talking about a guy they thought would be perfect for her. She finally went on a blind date with him, and it turned out he's black and she's white. She said she isn't a racist, and doesn't have a problem with interracial dating, but it's not for her.

The friends were upset she wouldn't see him again and were "shocked and horrified" by her actions.

And, in one of the rare times Caroline Hax gave a horrible answer, she said that her friends were right, and that they shouldn't pretend they're not horrified by something they find morally repugnant.

She went on about how racists judge people based on things like this, and her decision not to date this man was exactly that.

She then goes into an explanation of her not getting to know his character, his intellect, sense of humor, work ethic, shared history, goals in life, and a few other things.

She ends by saying that her not having any of these conversations with him and not finding him attractive because of his race IS what racism is.

Well...what I'd like to know is this.

Who has friends that set them up on a blind date, without telling the person EVERYTHING about that persons looks?

If they weight 500 pounds, you tell them. Heck, if they weight 150 pounds, you tell them.

Are they bald? Does he have a mustache? Does he dress well? Does he have freckles or moles? Any and everything, you tell.

You also find out if the people are different religions. I can imagine that would be ugly, setting up two people that seemed perfect, only to find they have completely different religious beliefs.

Obviously, these friends were clear about his personality and how he'd be "perfect". Well, what if the person didn't like red-heads? I'm sure the term "racist" doesn't get used.

And, I'm sure there is probably some African-American that this woman might be attracted to. And her friends seem like the types that would give her crap if in a few years, she ends up dating one she met and liked. Sometimes people have tastes that change.

I normally don't like red-heads. Yet I've dated a few that I found attractive. I just think 97% of them aren't.

People have different tastes.

And this is exactly why we all cringe when our friends want to set us up on blind dates. With me, it's not even the looks (I'm usually the one that has to be more worried if the woman will find me attractive).

In this day and age, with everyone having cell phone cameras, it's not that hard to see a photo of who the person is. And of course, friends will always tell you they look better in person. Most people usually do.

But what happens if you hit it off on this blind date, and then have a terrible break up? Maybe this person cheated on you, or gave you a disease. Perhaps they broke into your place and stole something from you, and keyed your car.

Are those same people that gave you a hard time for not giving a person a chance, now forced to take sides when two people hate each other? When one person says "I'm not coming to that party if so-and-so is gonna be there!"

If you have single friends you think would be perfect for each other, just have a party. Introduce them, and see if they hit it off and one asks the other out.

At my friends party a few weeks ago, I introduced him to a woman I thought would be perfect for him. I had talked her up for weeks.

He wasn't attracted to her, but they had a few interesting conversations. My only mistake was telling her how much I had built her up. Luckily, her feelings weren't hurt by him not being interested.

I do think if all those friends are on good terms, they should play a trick on this gal. Have someone get white make-up the way Eddie Murphy did in a Saturday Night Live episode. They could set her up with a black guy in disguise and see what happens.

Of course, have the hidden cameras ready to catch it all.

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In a Dear Abby column from a few days ago, a woman talked about being concerned for her nephen and how he always hugged and kissed on his mother. He's a teenager now and it seems weird to her. People in line at stores even comment on how bizarre it is. She's mentioned it to her sister, who says she's being too critical.

Abby responded that the nephew just appears to be a sweat, affectionate young man who is close to his mother.

Incredible. I would have said if other people think something looks weird, it probably is weird.

I remember being 11-years-old, and a guy moved onto my street that was divorced. He had his son on weekends, who was a year younger than I. We went to a few Clippers and Padres games, and a few times I spent the night. I remember thinking how odd it was that the father was always hugging and kissing his son. I think my mom told me at the time, that since he only sees him on weekends, he's probably just a lot more affectionate. And that made sense.

But we'd sit in the living room and watching TV, and this man would be laying on the couch, with his son embraced in his arms. For an hour straight. It just seemed odd (and uncomfortable).

It always amazes me when adults don't realize what an appropriate amount of affection is for kids. It could be Michael Jackson. It could be adults with children at nudist colonies. Certain things just aren't appropriate for kids.

Anyway...there's a syndicated column called "Tell Me About It," that is a "Dear Abby" style column, answered by Caroline Hax.

In this mornings Union-Tribune, a question came out about a woman who had friends talking about a guy they thought would be perfect for her. She finally went on a blind date with him, and it turned out he's black and she's white. She said she isn't a racist, and doesn't have a problem with interracial dating, but it's not for her.

The friends were upset she wouldn't see him again and were "shocked and horrified" by her actions.

And, in one of the rare times Caroline Hax gave a horrible answer, she said that her friends were right, and that they shouldn't pretend they're not horrified by something they find morally repugnant.

She went on about how racists judge people based on things like this, and her decision not to date this man was exactly that.

She then goes into an explanation of her not getting to know his character, his intellect, sense of humor, work ethic, shared history, goals in life, and a few other things.

She ends by saying that her not having any of these conversations with him and not finding him attractive because of his race IS what racism is.

Well...what I'd like to know is this.

Who has friends that set them up on a blind date, without telling the person EVERYTHING about that persons looks?

If they weight 500 pounds, you tell them. Heck, if they weight 150 pounds, you tell them.

Are they bald? Does he have a mustache? Does he dress well? Does he have freckles or moles? Any and everything, you tell.

You also find out if the people are different religions. I can imagine that would be ugly, setting up two people that seemed perfect, only to find they have completely different religious beliefs.

Obviously, these friends were clear about his personality and how he'd be "perfect". Well, what if the person didn't like red-heads? I'm sure the term "racist" doesn't get used.

And, I'm sure there is probably some African-American that this woman might be attracted to. And her friends seem like the types that would give her crap if in a few years, she ends up dating one she met and liked. Sometimes people have tastes that change.

I normally don't like red-heads. Yet I've dated a few that I found attractive. I just think 97% of them aren't.

People have different tastes.

And this is exactly why we all cringe when our friends want to set us up on blind dates. With me, it's not even the looks (I'm usually the one that has to be more worried if the woman will find me attractive).

In this day and age, with everyone having cell phone cameras, it's not that hard to see a photo of who the person is. And of course, friends will always tell you they look better in person. Most people usually do.

But what happens if you hit it off on this blind date, and then have a terrible break up? Maybe this person cheated on you, or gave you a disease. Perhaps they broke into your place and stole something from you, and keyed your car.

Are those same people that gave you a hard time for not giving a person a chance, now forced to take sides when two people hate each other? When one person says "I'm not coming to that party if so-and-so is gonna be there!"

If you have single friends you think would be perfect for each other, just have a party. Introduce them, and see if they hit it off and one asks the other out.

At my friends party a few weeks ago, I introduced him to a woman I thought would be perfect for him. I had talked her up for weeks.

He wasn't attracted to her, but they had a few interesting conversations. My only mistake was telling her how much I had built her up. Luckily, her feelings weren't hurt by him not being interested.

I do think if all those friends are on good terms, they should play a trick on this gal. Have someone get white make-up the way Eddie Murphy did in a Saturday Night Live episode. They could set her up with a black guy in disguise and see what happens.

Of course, have the hidden cameras ready to catch it all.

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