A few weeks ago, there was a story about a guy that got his Subway sandwich home and there was a knife in it. This was all over the news and the thing I kept thinking is "The guy is lucky. He could've woken up from a surgery and had a knife inside of him."

And hey...at least you have something to cut your sandwich with. I can never figure out at those places, they give you the plastic forks that get so bent up.

And as much as I hate that woman that lied and said she found a thumb in her chili at Wendy's...part of me also thinks if you find a knife in your food, you at least go up and pull a Kramer. You say, "Look, I'm not going to lie and say I cut my mouth. But, to keep me from going to the media, how about you hook me up with a footlong every day for life."

Then a few days ago comes the story of Reginald. He was upset with Subway for making his sandwich wrong. And he did what any angry customer would do. He called 911 to complain.

What makes this so weird is (unlike a few news agencies that reported it wrong, saying he got home and discovered the wrong sauce on the sandwich)...he was watching them actually make the sandwich!!!

Instead of just saying, "Hey guys. Uh, no. I didn't want the mayo. I wanted just the oil and vinegar." He pulls out his cell and calls 911 and tells the operator how they're putting the wrong sauces on his sandwich. He went outside to give them more details, and the Subway employees did what any good restaurant employee would do for an angry customer. They locked him out.

He then made a second call to 911. That time, it was to also complain at the length of time it was taking the police to show up.

They did finally show up, and charged Reginald with...whatever those charges are -- False police report or whatever.

I had a moment at Subway last week. I had seen their commercials for $5 footlongs. I ask for a turkey. It ends up being a few dollars more. I ask why it isn't five bucks and they tell me turkey is one of the only ones that ISN'T five dollars. I thought that was lame, but oh well. I know for next time. If I go there a next time.

I looked up at their menu board, and I saw they now have photos of Jared. He's the dude that lost a few hundred pounds by only eating Subway each day and walking a few miles to get there.

Is it me, or can we get rid of Jared already? His story is great. And yes, Subway was smart to utilize him in advertising. But seeing life-size cardboard cut-outs of him in the lobby, is just weird. And now on the menu?

McDonald's should put Spurlock, the guy that did the movie Supersize Me, on their menu boards. They've already got the lifesize clown in the lobby.