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So, I get to enjoy football on Sunday, watching the Chargers score over 50 points. Something everyone thought they were capable of doing before the season started.

I got to Seau's (the restaurant, not the clothing store, the football camp, or any other Seau's that might be out there). I have some friends that are Redskins fans, so I'm all for watching the night game there with them. Besides, one of the 'skins RBs is on my fantasy football team (he got me 129 yards and a touchdown, but I digest).

I go into the bathroom, and there's a bathroom attendant. Now, all my male friends have told me how much they hate them. It's uncomfortable. And, are you supposed to tip a guy that hands you a towel to dry your hands? A woman with me said, "I hate them, because I don't want them analyzing what I'm doing, or how long I'm taking."

I go to the urinal, and notice there are signs above each one that says "one person per urinal."

When I get to the sink, the attendant says "How was your piss, sir?" This comment struck me as odd. The words that came out of me, though, were "Quite lovely, thank you."

I then asked about those signs. He said something like "We had to put those up ever since that Sept. 28th incident." I asked, "Was that when Larry Craig did that thing in the airport bathroom?"

He laughed and replied, "No. We had people using the same urinal. They were really drunk, and so we had to put a stop to it."

He then takes out his cell phone and shows me a picture of the two guys sharing a urinal. I say, "Hey...a Chargers jersey, next to a Bears jersey. They unite when they urinate. That's kinda sweet."

Someone else nearby says, "You took a picture of someone in the bathroom?"

I then realized, he had a point. Cell phone cameras shouldn't be used in a bathroom.

But I'm glad he did. All the talk about sharing urinals, enabled me to slip out without leaving a tip.

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Comments
5

I hate bathroom attendants. They can hear me snorting lines of coke in the stalls.

Dec. 17, 2007

Hey, that would be a funny trick to play on a bathroom attendant. They have all those supplies...gum, mints, cologne...ask for a straw. Then, put some baking soda on your nose inside the stall, and come out with it on your face as you wash up. Just to see what he does.

Anyone ever see that Saturday Night Live, where Kevin Nealon played a bathroom attendant, and Harvey Keitel goes in to use the facilities? He is uncomfortable with Nealon talking to him, and spraying air freshener every few seconds.

Dec. 18, 2007

Fascinating! Okay, first of all I think people who have to take jobs working in public bathrooms need our charity and I always tip them, ALWAYS! $1 minimum! 2. I would suspect that the incriminating foto that the attendent took is probably what got the one-pee-r-per-urinal rule instated, but he revealed himself as a snitch and a spy and a bad person who deserves my tip, but should be instantly fired for his stealth photography. MY question is - could you see the faces of the errant pee-ers (and are they posted on the WWW yet and IF NOT, why not!)? Were they getting the pee into the trough and if so, exactly what was the crime they were committing?

Dec. 18, 2007

No, it wasn't a trough style. On those, you're often standing elbow to elbow, which is kinda gross while you're taking care of business, as Elvis might say. You couldn't see the faces. Maybe one guy was turned to the side and you could. Only the back of their jerseys. And, they also had their pants all the way up, which should always be the case, but sometimes you run into those guys in the bathroom, that have to have their pants around their ankles. I've never understood what that was about.

Dec. 18, 2007

never give a guy in a bathroom money unless you use the cologne or take some gum or mints LOL otherwise shouldn't he be paying you?

Dec. 23, 2007

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