Don Bauder 2 p.m., June 25
Report: Michael Bay furious at being passed over for directorial duties on Angry Birds films
Bay: "I AM THE ANGRIEST BIRD OF ALL! THE RAGING COCK!"
"Did they not see the BASE jumping scene in Transformers: Dark of the Moon? Do they not know that I am the king of things flying through the air? Do they not know that I am the master of things smashing other things? The undisputed champion of exploding castles and cartoonish violence? DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT I AM THE ORIGINAL BAD PIGGY?"
The sad thing is, only half of this story is made up. The part about Angry Birds becoming a feature film? Totally real.