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Caption This: The Lone Ranger

So, word is going 'round that even without werewolves, the budget for the Lone Ranger reboot is pushing $250 million, in part because director Gore Verbinski wanted to build his own trains for the thing. Time for a captioning...what is Johnny Depp thinking here?

None

Portlandia version: "Why did I put a bird on it? Because at $250 million, we can afford to put a bird on it."

50 Shades of Grey version: "Between the fancy suit, the leather mask, and the tight bandana around your neck, kemo sabe, I'm beginning to worry about that contract I signed when we got into this."

Funny or Die version: "I really hope you're not Will Ferrell under that mask, because if you are, it's a safe bet that this bird just shat in my hair."

I'm sure y'all can do better. Add your own in the comments!

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So, word is going 'round that even without werewolves, the budget for the Lone Ranger reboot is pushing $250 million, in part because director Gore Verbinski wanted to build his own trains for the thing. Time for a captioning...what is Johnny Depp thinking here?

None

Portlandia version: "Why did I put a bird on it? Because at $250 million, we can afford to put a bird on it."

50 Shades of Grey version: "Between the fancy suit, the leather mask, and the tight bandana around your neck, kemo sabe, I'm beginning to worry about that contract I signed when we got into this."

Funny or Die version: "I really hope you're not Will Ferrell under that mask, because if you are, it's a safe bet that this bird just shat in my hair."

I'm sure y'all can do better. Add your own in the comments!

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Comments
8

Two words: William Fraker.

None

June 15, 2012

Tonto to Lone Ranger: Gore Verbinski's spent $250 million on this movie, Tonto. Lone Ranger to Tonto: He belong to the Cimino tribe near Heaven's Gate, kemosabe.

None

June 16, 2012

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT IS JOHNNY DEPP THINKING HERE"!!!!! He didn't write the script! He is not the film crew! He is simply one of the actors in the movie!!! Instead of blaming him for everything including breathing, look to the other people who are in charge of the production of the film!!!!!! HELLO!!!!

June 18, 2012

Depp is the name that's going to sell this film. Aren't you tired of seeing this fine actor whore himself out to the likes of the eternally infantile Tim Burton and Gore "'Pirates of the Caribbean' is the Worst Franchise in Film History'" Verbinski? Depp hasn't been in anything worth looking at since "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus." He's appears to be picking his scripts based solely on the number of zeros on the check.

June 18, 2012

He can't help it if his films aren't "up to par". He did not and does not write the scripts. And he's never done any of it for the money, except "Nick of Time" when he really needed the money at the time and even stated it in an interview . His fans (obviously I'm one, and have followed him for years) know what he's really like and he likes playing all different types of roles, as opposed to other overblown actors out there who whore themselves out playing the same old character types over and over and get praise for that. Regardless of how "bad" his films may be, he's still an excellent actor. Unfortunately, the minute his name is mentioned, no matter what he does, all the haters come out. The second a film he's going to be in is mentioned in the news, it's torn apart before the production crew has even started anything and he's immediately judged. I can name quite a few franchises out there that are made solely for the almighty dollar, other than "Pirates". I'm glad he doesn't make mainstream films and thrilled he doesn't portray "Mr. Everyday Man" characters. The Hollywood Bigwigs never liked him because he doesn't sell out. He's turned down plenty of money making scripts. If you don't like him, don't go to see his films. Some moviegoers minds are already made up. Sad.

June 19, 2012

"He can't help it if his films aren't "up to par"" Well yeah, he actually can. If the treatment sucks, don't do the film.

June 19, 2012

Marcy, if you're a true fan, you could probably answer this. But ask the average moviegoer the following questions:

1.) Name a Depp movie not directed by Verbinski or Burton. 2.) What was the last role Depp played a character that wasn't based on a historical person or required strange character traits and/or garish make-up?

Chances are they won't be able to name "The Rum Diary" or "The Tourist" - they'll blurt out Jack Sparrow or a Tim Burton concoction. His signature roles in those movies are sadly blocking out anything else he's done in his career.

And if they could name a movie like that, they'd probably say "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" or "Nick Of Time" or "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas" - movies Depp did about 10-15 years ago. Do we really need a "Pirates of Caribbean 5" or another Burton/Depp movie which is more of the same?

Depp fans will pay to see essentially the same films over and over and over. You get what you pay for. That's sad.

June 19, 2012

Forgot about The Rum Diary, probably because I haven't seen it, I guess. My choices would have been "The Tourist" and either "Once Upon A Time in Mexico" or "The Secret Window". And I have to admit that my wife and I tend to avoid any film with both Depp and Burton.

June 19, 2012

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