• Almost Factual News alerts

Who got the yacht?

According to Hornblower Cruises owner Larry Longshore, today should be a banner day for the local cruise company, because, he says, "in a final act of Herculean charity, former Union-Tribune owner David Copley left his 160-foot superyacht Happy Days to Hornblower. A final gift to the city he loved so much. I knew it was coming; he told me about the donation, and he even showed me the pertinent section of his will. I just never dreamed it would come so soon. We're planning to rename it the All Heart - because that's what David was."

But if Copley's executors at the law firm of Crabbe & Blackheart have their way, the Happy Days' next voyage will be its last. "Mr. Longshore's claims," says senior partner Lester Crabbe, "are based on a document written in crayon on the back of a Denny's menu. The menu is indeed notarized, but the time-stamp reads 3:23 a.m., which leads us to suspect that the whole thing was a good-natured late-night prank. The sort of thing that seemed funny at the time. So we are fairly certain that the court will rule in favor of Mr. Copley's formal will, which clearly states that the Happy Days is to be towed out into the Harbor bearing Mr. Copley's remains, and then set ablaze while a helicopter hovers overhead and blares Pink Floyd's "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" from its exterior-mounted sound system."

  • Almost Factual News alerts


Sign in to comment

Win a $25 Gift Card to
The Broken Yolk Cafe

Join our newsletter list

Each newsletter subscription means another chance to win!