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Livery Laborers Lament Lardy Lovers' Lecherous Liasons

"Yaa Raabi - put that sh*t away!"

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Attention, amorous San Diegans, especially those of you helping to make this the 10th most obese city in the nation: San Diego's taxi drivers want you to get a room. After the November 15th Metropolitan Transit System Taxicab Advisory Committee (MTS-TAC) election, the 800-member strong taxi driver association plans to once again bring up the issue of backseat hookups through their newly elected representatives.

According the Department of Labor, cab drivers are 600 times more likely than other workers to be exposed to explicit sexual activity while on the job. "It's not as exciting as TV and movies may have led you to believe," says Somali-born cab driver Abdi Abdikarim. "Everyone always thinks of the quasi-hot skanks on Taxicab Confessions, or worse yet, Don Draper getting serviced by a gorgeous young actress on Mad Men. Let me assure you, the things I've seen...this one time...no, it is better not to speak of it."

Cities like New York have adopted safety measures like tinted dividers and in-car video cameras that broadcast directly to the Internet. San Diego cab drivers have been asking for similar measures for years. "These people have no shame in front of me, a foreigner in a position of service," explained Abdikarim. "But maybe if they knew that their blubberous exploits were viewable by their co-workers...I can only hope."

"There is always a danger in the cab industry," said San Diego Cab Company President Wally Frack. "Tragic, groping, connubial incidents always happen, but we have to make sure at least to have some kind of protection for their drivers. Because the drivers, they're the ones who have to live with what they've seen."

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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