Denny’s Chief Breakfast Officer Roger Bacon: “Congratulations to the San Diego Padres for becoming the first team in baseball history to hit five grand slams in six games. We only wish there were some fans …

“The recent death of Dolores Robledo, who founded San Diego’s legendary Roberto’s Taco Shop chain with her husband Roberto in the ‘60s, was a somber moment for San Diego’s Mexican food community, and for the …

“This is a tough one,” says Natasha Trigger-Warning, chairperson of San Diego’s newly formed Cancel Culture Committee. “Obviously, the term ‘Jungle Fever’ has racist overtones, since it refers to a white person’s erotic desire for …

Last Tuesday, San Diego city councilperson Jennifer Campbell said that “we have to get tough” on participants in a weekly Wednesday night drum at Veteran’s Park in Ocean Beach. “They have to stop it. They’ve …

“Looking back, it was inevitable, really,” says Esther Erasure, Director of Change at the soon-to-be-razed-and-recently-renamed San Diego Museum of Us. “When we adopted our Decolonizing Initiatives in January of this year, we explicitly acknowledged that …

“San Diego spoke out, and we listened,” said Mayor Faulconer in a statement. “We planned to erect a memorial to San Diego’s 8000 AIDS victims within a small park along Olive Street. But you said …

“It’s true that Stone Brewing did not invent the gargoyle,” admits Rocky Flint, Stone Brewing’s Brand Protection Manager. “But we did trademark it. And we think it’s pretty clear that the gothic cathedrals of Europe …

A recently discovered cache of letters in the basement of San Diego’s famed Mission Santa Anna have revealed that things were not always suffused with the peace of Christ during the Mission’s early days. “Relations …

The San Diego Padres started their season 4-1, their best initial record in decades. And while some may credit the unlikely success to new manager Jayce Tingler, and others to the general up-is-down insanity that …

Last week, the Wall of Moms — the yellow-shirted edifice that stood in protest against federal agents’ accosting Portland protesters — threatened to crumble after it was revealed that founder Bev Barnum had filed to …

“‘Black Lives Matter’ is a brilliant slogan, but I started to worry that it’s message wasn’t getting through all the surrounding noise any more,” says San Diego Black Lives Matter supporter Reggie Johnson. I don’t …

A San Diego couple on their first date survey the post-10 pm social wasteland and contemplate their options.

Newsom knew something: San Diego was just about the only place in Southern California where real Americans could celebrate America’s birthday.

When San Diego Starbucks barista Lenin Gutierrez rudely refused to serve a woman because she was not wearing a protective mask, she took to Facebook to complain, noting, “Next time I will wait for cops …

Top picture has unvandalized network logo and intact windows. 2. Top photo features network founder respectfully dialoguing with protesters. 3. Network in top photo is upfront about its partisan political allegiance. 4. Network in top …

The University of California’s Board of Regents voted last week to address “original sin of this country” by seeking to repeal Prop 209, which voters approved in 1996 to ban “preferential treatment” for minority groups. …

“It started with the Cop, of course,” says the Village People’s Biker. “Didn’t matter that he’s black. San Diego Pride said that law enforcement could no longer have a contingent at the Pride Parade, because …

“When the City of Chula Vista opted to remove the statue of Christopher Columbus from its home in Discovery Park and place it in storage ahead of a planned protest, it got me thinking,” says …

“I was shocked,” said local American Sam Eagle. “This is America. I know we have freedom of speech, but that does not give anyone the right to undermine an extremely profitable — and at the …

Ad depicting line of eager patrons outside of Viejas on re-opening day. “Life is like a casino,” observes Viejas spokesman Ron Ponyup. “Most people are suckers, happy to be governed by chance. A few pay …

“School is about so much more than data transfer from teacher to student,” says Dahmer High School English teacher Pamela Ratched. “It’s about the crucial socialization that takes part in the classroom, the lunchroom, and …

Matt McMullen had a problem. The founder of San Marcos-based luxury sex doll company RealDoll had, as he puts it, “a factory full of way too many bodies in close proximity. I mean, literally stacked …

Don't Embarrass the Hells Angels They will not tolerate someone pretending to be a member who is not really a member. By Eva Knott, July 25, 2012 Roman Abramovich Yacht on San Diego’s Embarcadero It …

It must be the new uniforms!

Fight the invisible enemy! Actual Marine recruitment poster. (Well, mostly.)

The liquid-metal, shape-shifting governator, clockwise from upper left: That Trump-loving MAGA tool Newsom lays out his plan to start re-opening California, sacrificing who knows how many vulnerable lives for the sake of economic recovery. It’s …

Last week, a shopper showed up at a Santee Vons wearing the required face mask. Well, maybe not the required face mask: his nose and mouth were covered, but by a makeshift Ku Klux Klan …

“They’ve been gone for months now. We’ve won! Even if they came back, they wouldn’t dare dislodge us!”

Once, all we had to fear from the Youngs was Reefer Madness, Biker Gangs, and Gangsta Rap. Those were the Good Old Days! Can anything save us from these Terrifying Teens for whom Surfing is …

“Art is a living thing,” said Mayor Faulconer as he unveiled the revised masterwork, edited to illustrate the proper mode of social distancing as determined by the City in the wake of the coronavirus outbreak. …

Speaking from a crack in the earth’s crust so deep that it revealed the seething magma that forever threatens to burst forth and consume all life, human and otherwise, on the face of the planet …

Caught between a hug and a hard place If you move to somewhere on the East Coast, such as Boston, NYC, or Philadelphia, fewer people will try to hug you, mostly because they’re all too …

Clockwise from upper left: 1. Bat soup served at Wuhan wet market, likely epicenter of the coronavirus. (Well, either that or the Wuhan Institute of Virology, but let’s stick with bats for the moment.) 2. …

COVID-CON promises to bring more than 800 homeless people to the Convention Center floor for a cultural gathering unlike any other! Unfortunately, the event is not open to the general public, but those lucky enough …

FDA statement: “While many print publications have succumbed to the coronavirus due to their advanced age and underlying market conditions — we’re thinking here of San Diego Magazine, San Diego Home & Garden, and wow, …

President Trump’s regular, televised briefings on the coronavirus and our nation’s efforts to fight it have proven hugely popular, but not universally so. Cable news outlet CNN has regularly provided truncated or no coverage of …

Not long after, the hapless victim’s crappy costume was reduced to just that, while his naked, lifeless body was hung from a lamppost in a Spring Valley Wal-Mart parking lot as a warning to others.

Good citizen Reggie Minuteman demonstrates just how essential guns can be in a crisis situation.

Even the trees show forth the deadly virus

“Everybody knows the Batman origin story,” says Santee deepfaker Mike Troller. “Young rich kid Bruce Wayne sees his parents murdered before his eyes. After he grows up and becomes a wealthy playboy, he travels to …

Above:Thanos, the cosmic culler who sought to restore balance to creation by eliminating half of all life in the universe. His first attempt, using the power of the infinity stones, was initially a success, but …

Not exactly a viral sensation. Water, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer, however...

At a press conference held last week at the County Coroner’s Office, a visibly agitated Flu made the case for increased media attention to the three reporters in attendance. “I killed 86 San Diegans this …

“Every cruise offers passengers the opportunity to sit on a deck chair and do nothing but drink frilly cocktails for hours while they wait for the sushi buffet to be restocked,” says Princess spokesman Reginald …

Following the announcements last week by many major universities, including UCSD, that they would be suspending classroom instruction and moving to online classes in an effort to slow the inevitable spread of coronavirus, Ashford spokeswoman …

Continuing its transition from fancy water circus to Damp Disneyland, Sea World San Diego is scheduled to open its newest roller coaster this summer. And last week, park Spokesman Ron Hurtler announced the coaster’s name. …

Rally with Mayor Pete

In news we sincerely wish was merely almost factual, San Diego has had its first confirmed cases of coronavirus, otherwise known as COVID-19, otherwise known as we’re all gonna die. In news we even more …

Last week, Balboa Park announced plans to remove nearly 150 parking places currently situated in the park’s South Palisades region, and to replace them with the promenade laid out in the park’s master plan of …

Last week, Chargers management revealed their intention to part ways with longtime quarterback Philip Rivers after 16 tumultuous seasons. Owner Dean Spanos released this statement to the press following the announcement. “For many years, Philip …