Hoomi: “Everyone loves Bat-man! Therefore, everyone loves bats! The Chinese people love bats! Therefore, everyone loves the Chinese people! Logic dictates that the coronavirus is not our problem!”

Hoomi: “Everyone loves Bat-man! Therefore, everyone loves bats! The Chinese people love bats! Therefore, everyone loves the Chinese people! Logic dictates that the coronavirus is not our problem!”

Clockwise from upper left: 1. Bat soup served at Wuhan wet market, likely epicenter of the coronavirus. (Well, either that or the Wuhan Institute of Virology, but let’s stick with bats for the moment.) 2. “American” super-hero Bat-Man receives instructions from Chinese Minister of National Public Standing Wat Hoomi regarding Chinese effort to shift blame for, downplay severity of, and highlight response to the country’s coronavirus outbreak. 3. Early stealth efforts involve indoctrination of the young, as evidenced by this event at the local Museum of Making Music. Look kids, Bats in the Band! Bats are cool and fun and also cute, and definitely should not be associated with Chinese people who eat them and then contract a virus that sparks a global pandemic! 4. Local media are lured into providing favorable coverage to Chinese operative as he tours the region spreading good will, thus reinforcing positive associations with bats, and by extension, China.