“Every great civilization has been built on the backs of the exploited,” began SeaWorld spokesman Robert Orcant at the press conference revealing the theme park’s new logo, which depicts the dead juvenile gray whale that …
April 2, 2016
Almost Factual News
SeaWorld reveals new logo after dead whale found on Torrey Pines beach
Republican rabble-rouser ruins Romney’s return
MOURNING FOR THE FUTURE OF HIS PARTY AND HIS COUNTRY, 30 FEET BELOW GROUND — “Looking back,” says Mitt Romney from within the security of the concrete bunker underneath his palatial La Jolla home, “it’s …
April 1, 2016
Trump promises solution to “Green Tide”
Donald Trump took a break from his campaign today to address an issue close to his heart: immigration. Specifically, the immigration of Mexican parrot populations to San Diego and other California cities. Speaking before a …
March 21, 2016
Locavores put spotlight on recent trend of game bird delicacies in San Diego restaurants
Pemberton Throckmorton III, food critic for the hipster bible, San Diego Farthuffer Monthly, is just wild about OB Warehouse chef Brian Kelly's latest creation, the generically named — and totally local —Greens ’n Bird. "San …
March 20, 2016
Parrots make it so you cannot hear the Faulconer at mayoral press conference on conure killings
Transcription of statement from Mayor Faulconer regarding the recent spate of parrocides: “The City of San Diego has long prided itself on SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAAAAAWWK, and a major component of that SQUAWK has been the …
March 19, 2016
Rash of local wild parrot killings continues in Ocean Beach/Point Loma
STARING INTO THE SKY CRYING “WHY” AND THEN GETTING SHAT ON, POINT LOMA — The remorseless killer of the wild ring-faced conures that have graced the early daylight hours of Ocean Beach, Point Loma and …
March 18, 2016
The Trump-et sounds
Recently, Federal Judge Gonzalo Curiel ruled that a San Diego-based class-action lawsuit against Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump’s real-estate educational program, Trump University, could move forward, raising the possibility of a presidential candidate being forced …
March 12, 2016
Corporate craft culture
When MillerCoors bought Saint Archer Brewing for $35 million, fans of San Diego’s craft beer community grumbled, but consoled themselves with the thought that Saint Archer was always about the money, anyway. But when Constellation …
March 5, 2016
SeaWorld releases images of planned interactive exhibit as it prepares to phase out orca shows
In a move that seemed to contradict the tenets of both business and common sense, SeaWorld Entertainment recently promoted San Diego SeaWorld President John Reilly to oversee all of the company’s theme parks. “John has …
February 27, 2016
Pope Francis caps visit to Mexico by smuggling himself into the United States
Throughout his reign, Pope Francis has sought to emphasize the Catholic church’s outreach to the poor and suffering of the world, and his recent visit to Mexico gave him ample opportunity to do just that. …
February 19, 2016
Dean Spanos comes clean about punking San Diego
Hey, San Diego. You know, we’ve been friends a long time. What has it been, 30 years? And it’s because we’re so close that I knew you’d be able to take the monster punking I …
February 7, 2016