Bar’s powerful backdrop. Tusks? Arms? Legs?

Tuesday, 4 pm. Sixth Avenue is not exactly busy. The Hustler Hollywood store has a couple of old geezers staring at open bras on plastic models. I came here thinking more about my stomach. Hmm. Brian’s 24 Grill in the Ramada across the street is a possible. I mean, hey: sex and stomach! After all, the imprint of once-famous Joan Crawford’s heels still dents the mahogany bar where she danced in her stilettos...

Two giant meatballs, best bargains in Happy Hour.

On t’other hand, there’s this bright red sign above a restaurant on this side. ’Course, it looks way too expensive; it’s STK. I have heard of this. One of a raft of top-dollar steak places like Morton’s, Animae, Del Frisco’s that have come to town. Has DJs and a kind of lounge feel, from what I hear. So I shouldn’t, but I take a look in. I mean, it’s new, it’s really sleek, its staff looks muy soigné. Besides, I’d heard that they had a 7-ounce Wagyu burger with chips, $7.99. OK, for takeout only. But still, pretty good price for a classy place. This gives me hope. On the other hand, a bunch of people cluster around outside, talking about “happy hour.” Hmm. More fun to eat inside than carry a cooling boiger all the way home on the trolley.

And the timing’s perfect. It’s everybody’s happy hour, the time when bargains are starting to fly all around the Gaslamp. I follow this group in. Business IT types. Inside’s kinda effortlessly classy. Purple and black. Lounge settees upstairs. Black walls, purple-lit flowers, gals wearing loosely tied purple silk ties. But the prices are effortlessly classy, too. A “cowgirl” 16-ounce ribeye will set you back $92. A dry-aged Delmonico 14-ounce goes for $104. A Wagyu A5 filet goes by weight: $44 per ounce. So a 7-ounce would be, man, $308. Don’t even think about a 14-ounce. Besides steaks, a maple-rubbed salmon, say, is $48; rack of lamb, $62; a dozen oysters, $54. Six-ounce filet and a lobster tail, $79. Sweat’s busting out on my brow. I try to stay cool. Shoulda had that $7.99 take-out burger.

Classy: Purple and black is the uniform. Salmon is the HH burger.

Luis the waiter fetches me a HH menu. It’s small, but not mean. It’s divided into $3, $6, and $9 plates. Now we’re talking! For $3, you get an oyster on the half-shell, or tater tots, or hummus and veggies. Six dollars gets you, like, “Lil’ Brg and truffle fries.” Translation: small burger. Or a “giant Wagyu meatball,” or ooh, short rib croquettes and mustard cream, or a “Green Goddess salmon slider.” And for the princely price of $9, how about a plate of beef tartare or a tuna tartare taco, or popcorn chicken, or crispy calamari, or jalapeño pickled shrimp cocktail, or, hey, a filet “lollipop” mini-steak and truffle fries? Think I’ll go for that one, because at least you know you’ve got a bit of meat. And, for sure, tender.

They have HH beers at $9. I guess in this atmosphere. we should be grateful, because, look down the list: Wine by the glass goes for $14 on up. By the bottle? They top out around $600. So I get a glass of Justin Cabernet. Costs $9. I think about a bottle of beer, but wine’s easier to stretch than beer.

Happy Hour in the purple room: $9 salmon burger is guaranteed to fill you.

Food-wise, in some ways, the best is the cheapest and most filling HH dish on offer: my $3 hummus and veggies! For starters, the hummus is nice and tangy. We’re talking olive oil and chickpeas, basically. Then croutons, and little black, yellow, and red tomatoes huddling beneath a forest of celery and carrots. It’s an honest and way-tasty dipping app.

When Luis brings the black iron pan, smokin’ with my small “lollipop” steak and three large truffle fries, my choices start to look like, yes, modest, but a real meal. For $12, together with the hummus plate, we’ve got ourselves a healthy, interesting main course. The meat is lush, marinated, garlicky, and tender, even though it’s not a lot.

Gent comes in, sits down, opens the large menu. He knows what he wants. Asks for the giant wagyu meatball, but not the $6 Happy Hour single-ball serving. He goes for two. Then I think I hear him order the $104, dry-aged Delmonico 14-ounce steak. He’s in the energy exploration business. He’s cheery, chatty, outgoing, and you know from all the places he’s been that he knows a good steak when he sees one. “So how is San Diego as a steak Mecca?” I ask. “San Diego?” he replies. “It has good steaks. People take them seriously now. Great steaks? I don’t know. I’ve been in Mexico City for a few years. And Buenos Aires...They have great steaks.” His steak arrives. A giant blob of meat. His knife glides through it.

Steak from tenderest part of the cow eats like butter.

It all makes me a little peckish again. Dang it. Wanted to stay under twenty bucks, but I hear myself ordering a six dollar HH slider. And just to be different, I ask for the Green Goddess salmon slider. Ground salmon is not the most thrilling gastro experience for yours truly. Just no real, gripping taste. What can you do? It’s fish. But it’s certainly healthy protein and filling, and a generous size for a slider.

STK also has a good social vibe. My energy-exploring buddy and I talk on for hours, and no staff come and try to move us out. Later, when the DJ and music thing clicks in, it’ll probably be different. But that’s tonight. Right now, happy hour, it’s perfect. Next time if I’m passing by, a $9 glass of wine and that excellent $3 hummus will do me just fine.

• The Place: STK Steakhouse, 600 F Street, Gaslamp, 619-814-2002
• Hours: 3-11pm Monday-Thursday; 3pm-12am Friday; 9am-12am Saturday; 9am-11pm Sunday
• Happy Hour: 3-6:30pm, Monday-Friday
• HH Prices: Oyster on the half-shell, $3; tater tots, $3; hummus & veggies, $3; Lil’ Brg (=burger), truffle fries, $6; giant Wagyu meatball, $6; short rib croquettes (mustard cream), $6; Green Goddess salmon slider, $6; beef tartare, $9; tuna tartare taco, $9; popcorn chicken, $9; crispy calamari, $9; jalapeño pickled shrimp cocktail; $9; filet lollipop, truffle fries, $9;
• Regular prices: Blue iceberg (bacon, blue tomato app), $22; crispy calamari, $26; shellfish platter, $52 per person (2 minimum); small (6oz) filet steak, $54; dry-aged Delmonico steak (14oz), $104; chicken, $46
• Buses: All downtown
• Trolleys: Blue Line, Orange Line, Silver Line
• Nearest Trolley Stop: 5th Avenue