The Gay Agenda: “Our shows are chaos.”

San Diego’s the Gay Agenda (the band) are so over “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.” They never left in the first place, they’re not going anywhere, and they’ll party and pose their way past any shade — not to mention any weirdness.

“All of our shows seem to be the best, worst, and strangest,” muses singer David Hurtt. “My favorite show we played was one at Tower Bar. It was the middle of summer and the air-conditioner was not operational.... It was so hot that I was dripping sweat off my jockstrap, and I could see steam coming off of the crowd.”

“Despite all of this, a person in a full-on bunny costume with an oversized head wearing a leather jacket jumped into the pit, and the crowd went crazy. I got hit in the mouth with the mic, showered in beer, and lathered in other people’s sweat mixed with a tiny bit of blood. The next day, I didn’t remember getting home, apparently didn’t wash myself off, and could barely talk. I literally had to peel my sheets off of me in the morning.”

Hurtt hooked up (musically) with longtime friend Matt Penning on guitar. “I knew Luis [Imperator] from the bear scene, but at the time I only knew he played guitar. I later saw a video of him playing drums, and I knew I had to have him in TGA.”

“Garrett [Ficacci, bassist] came into the picture recommended by Luis. It took some coaxing to get Garrett to join because of a previous incident when I met him while I was blackout drunk. I allegedly proceeded to berate him unprovoked. However, I don’t remember any of this. He eventually got over it and now we’re best Judys.”

Camaraderie is crucial, of course, but Gay Agenda membership sometimes feels like Army membership. With far more fabulous uniforms, of course.

“Our shows are chaos,” Hurtt confesses. “I’ve been cut from glass, spit on, groped, spanked, had audience members make out with me, flashed, and even dislocated my knee in the middle of a set.”

“So far no... mud wrestling. Though I have been covered in a mysterious black slime from the floor of the Tower Bar that seemed to be a mix of beer, bodily fluid, and whatever other punk crust has been caked on there for decades.”

Recently, the band cut the new album, Penetrating, start-to-finish in one take. Asked the toughest thing about this approach, Hurtt answers, “Everything. Trying to hear yourself, sound bleeding, forgetting lyrics, not knowing how it’s going to turn out. It’s kind of a nightmare, but it’s over in a day.”

So they’re rough, tough, rugged, and ready for action. Just don’t accuse them of buying their own costumes.

“Oh honey, we don’t do ‘off the rack.’”