Horse racing enthusiasts gather around the newly installed monument dedicated to “all the swift and selfless equines who gave their lives on this manicured ground for our entertainment and remuneration” at the Del Mar racetrack. The Del Mar Thoroughbred Club has announced that the names of all future Del Mar horse fatalities will be engraved on the monument’s base at the conclusion of each season. When asked why the monument would not include the names of past fatalities, Bigwig shook his head and replied that in order to do that, he’d need a monument the size of the Vietnam Wall.

"Man, Achilles heels really seem to be our Achilles heel this season,” lamented Chargers coach Mike McCoy after losing his second player of the season, running back Brandon Oliver, to an injured Achilles tendon last Sunday. (Tight end Jeff Cumberland had gone down a couple of weeks earlier.) “Some guys in this business have really bad luck — me, most of all.”

McCoy could afford the jocular tone. For one thing, his contract had just been extended through 2017 despite his dismal performance as head coach, and for another, he works for the NFL, where traumatic injuries are accepted as par for the course. But Del Mar Thoroughbred Club president Bart Bigwig is not so sanguine. “We had 16 equine fatal injuries this season — 16. That’s not just unacceptable; that borders on the immoral. People are liable to start comparing us to the NFL, which would be just terrible. We’re not monsters, you know.”