Looks flat from this vantage point
  • Looks flat from this vantage point
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  • Dear Hipster:
  • Is the Earth really flat like B.o.B. says?
  • — Donnie G., Cardiff
  • Dear Hipster:
  • How is it even possible to believe in a Flat Earth?
  • — Evelyn
  • Dear Hipster:
  • Would it be hipster or not hipster to believe that the Earth is flat?
  • — Dave, Eastlake

Five hundred years ago, people died in a variety of colorful, horrifying ways (e.g., writhing in agony as scurvy covered their bodies with suppurating ulcers) trying to prove that the world could be circumnavigated, it’s sphericity incontrovertibly proven by extension. Nowadays, our collective grasp of physics and technology has advanced so far that we can discern Earth’s roundness by gazing upon the planet through gigantic cameras that hurtle in orbit at 17,000 miles per hour.

How do celebrities — arguably the most influential figures in the world — use a powerful tool of instantaneous global communication?

By paying assistants to compose meaningless, attention-seeking tweets. Naturalement.

Should you ever wonder why we hipsters reject the shallow mores of mainstream culture in favor of greater social consciousness, look no further than the tweets of a borderline rapper.

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Comments

mrdiggles March 3, 2016 @ 8:06 a.m.

How is this even an article? Taking time to highlight something ridiculous for nothing more than to make fun of someone or something is the reason why the internet is overflowing with noise.

You are satirizing a "rapper" which makes me wonder, are you a borderline journalist?

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DJ Stevens March 3, 2016 @ 4:55 p.m.

I never claimed to be any kind of journalist.

You don't think it's sad that more people use the most powerful communications tool of all time to read the inane tweets of a mainstream pop musician than use it to read any major news outlet? That's not worth commenting on?

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