"This one? It's sort of like the one you get for bird-watching…"
On January 24, San Diego–based Boy Scout Troop 766 took a hike through Torrey Pines, a hike that led them directly through the region’s final remaining nude beach. Pack-master Ben Looker has been under fire ever since, despite the fact that there are no scout policies forbidding visits to such beaches...and despite the fact that none of the elementary school–age boys have filed a complaint. Now, in an SDQT exclusive, Looker gives his side of the story.
“The scouts are hurting,” Looker says, “there’s no two ways about it. Membership is down across the country, and especially here in California, where whittling and semaphore are not generally looked upon as necessary social skills. And our public image is in the toilet. Between the controversy over gay scout leaders and the controversy over sexually abusive scout leaders, I figured it couldn’t hurt to let our boys get in a little bit of old-fashioned, red-blooded gawking at naked ladies. You know: the kind of healthy, normal perversion that drives the American advertising industry and, therefore, the largest economy in the world. And, I thought, Who knows? Maybe the news of my little excursion will raise the interest of some young men out there who otherwise wouldn’t have dreamed of joining our organization.”
Looker stressed that the hike was not simply a matter of staring. “The scouts are, first and foremost, an educational organization. There’s very little we do that doesn’t involve learning or the development of some useful skill. The fact is, spotting an actual hot chick at Black’s Beach is extremely difficult. First of all, they’re extremely rare. For reasons that are not entirely clear, their numbers have been declining since the they peaked in the mid ’70s. Some people fear they may already be extinct, but others continue to hold out hope. Second, they tend to be hard to spot amid all the sags and bags of the surrounding fauna. It requires focus and concentration, attention to detail, and a willingness to take in some pretty unpleasant vistas. I’m sorry to say that our initial efforts most likely proved fruitless. I mean, Harvey Glickman said he saw this one girl out in the water who was both totally naked and totally fine. But he’s been known to exaggerate, and no one can corroborate his story. Another important lesson learned: always have a wingman who can back your play, especially when photography is out of the question.”