You know, since they can't give the city what it really wants for Christmas: a pennant.

Guest editorial by Theo Dissy, President of the San Diego Grinch Lodge

San Diegans have long since stopped expecting displays of competence when they visit Petco Park, so it should come as no surprise to learn that its upcoming Holiday Wonderland represents another fiasco for the House that Taxpayers Built. No doubt, the event's name was chosen in an attempt to acknowledge the diverse range of cultures and beliefs present in America's Finest City. But take a look at the promo video, narrated by none other than Santa Claus himself. The so-called Holiday Wonderland consists of a 40-foot Christmas tree, Santa's village, Santa's reindeer, photos with Santa — the list goes on. Every schoolkid knows that Christmas trees are in fact Christmas trees, and that "Santa" translates to "saint." (What, no display for the Stable Baby?)

But it looks like the moneygrubbers at Petco think they can lure in a few dopey seculars by going with holiday instead of Christmas. Frankly, we here at the Grinch Lodge find this kind of pandering more insulting than any nod to Christian hegemony. The worst thing about it is the sheer laziness: even their substitute language is offensive. The word holiday is of course derived from the Old English haligdaeg, or "holy day." But things are holy only when they are set apart for God in some way. At least Balboa Park had the decency to go with the genuinely neutral December Nights. So, yes, we long for the day when we can truly stop Christmas from coming. But it's not enough to just slap on a generically religious alternative title.

Death to the dead God and his bastard Son!