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Vodka verus gin

The Great Martini Debate defused.

Dear Hipster:

My friend and I go back and forth on which is the right spirit for a Martini. Gin or vodka?

— Joe, Kensington

Gin drinkers are either old men or luxurious Noel Coward wannabes. Vodka drinkers tend to be powerful, soulless 1980s businessmen or James Bond. Gin drinkers make ludicrous claims about “bruising” the alcohol. Vodka drinkers are just looking for an icy cold glass of minimally adulterated booze; as they’re the same crowd who pushed for the increasingly dry “Martinis” of the 1980s, which is basically the darkest era of drinking’s thousand-plus-year history. The widely prophesied “gin renaissance” that people were talking about in the late-2000s didn’t go anywhere, though it did give us the bizarre rebirth of St. Germain, which appeared in everybody’s gin cocktails for about three years, till bartenders realized that the historical Gin Craze of 18th-century London was actually A Very Bad Thing, and that nobody really likes gin anyways, so why not dispense with the gin and just keep the sugary St. Germain around? As for vodka, there’s no need to make it into Martinis. In due time, the world’s whole supply of vodka will be mixed with Red Bull and quaffed by an array of frat boys in blue-and-white striped button down shirts and/or underage girls in clingy dresses attempting to impress said frat boys. Why deny them the pleasure by turning the vodka into something as un-rad as a Martini?

Anyway, the point is moot. The correct spirit is whiskey, and the correct drink is the Old Fashioned. Better still to just order Maker’s on the rocks. Perhaps if you were to grow a beard it would help?

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Dear Hipster:

My friend and I go back and forth on which is the right spirit for a Martini. Gin or vodka?

— Joe, Kensington

Gin drinkers are either old men or luxurious Noel Coward wannabes. Vodka drinkers tend to be powerful, soulless 1980s businessmen or James Bond. Gin drinkers make ludicrous claims about “bruising” the alcohol. Vodka drinkers are just looking for an icy cold glass of minimally adulterated booze; as they’re the same crowd who pushed for the increasingly dry “Martinis” of the 1980s, which is basically the darkest era of drinking’s thousand-plus-year history. The widely prophesied “gin renaissance” that people were talking about in the late-2000s didn’t go anywhere, though it did give us the bizarre rebirth of St. Germain, which appeared in everybody’s gin cocktails for about three years, till bartenders realized that the historical Gin Craze of 18th-century London was actually A Very Bad Thing, and that nobody really likes gin anyways, so why not dispense with the gin and just keep the sugary St. Germain around? As for vodka, there’s no need to make it into Martinis. In due time, the world’s whole supply of vodka will be mixed with Red Bull and quaffed by an array of frat boys in blue-and-white striped button down shirts and/or underage girls in clingy dresses attempting to impress said frat boys. Why deny them the pleasure by turning the vodka into something as un-rad as a Martini?

Anyway, the point is moot. The correct spirit is whiskey, and the correct drink is the Old Fashioned. Better still to just order Maker’s on the rocks. Perhaps if you were to grow a beard it would help?

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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