Oh look, an MC Hammer reference!
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Even as her sexual harassment lawsuit against ex-Mayor Bob Filner gropes its way through the courts, Gloria Allred is taking on a new challenge: suing hippy strippers for pushing their portly product on queasy customers at a controversial Chula Vista strip club. Her clients are three Eyecandy patrons, seeking as yet unspecified damages for "unwanted sexual advances" from the club's dancers.

Allred at press conference announcing lawsuit against Eyecandy.

"Put simply," says Allred, "my clients live by the credo of No Fat Chicks. It was traumatic enough for them to discover the magnitude of their error upon entering Eyecandy and getting an eyeful of the ladies on stage. But when those same ladies left the platform and offered my clients full-contact, fully nude lap dances, well, that crossed the line. It's just like when Bob Filner told my client Irene McCormack that she would work better without panties. Except sort of the reverse. Anyway, it was very much unwanted."

Allred contends that "a quick glance at Eyecandy's reviews on Yelp! should make it clear that this is not a baseless or frivolous claim. Here are just a few quotes, all from different patrons: 'These girls are disgusting. They were all fat.' 'Yes, lots of chubbies.' 'These moms who haven't lost their baby fat really need to reconsider a job.' And finally, ' 'Shoot, my sister is hotter. This place has a bunch of damn mud-ducks runnin around, beggin for money.'"

The showgirls at Eyecandy have so far refused to comment, even after heavy tipping and repeated purchases of VIP room private dances. But General Manager Randy Bumregard did have this to say: "You know, nude lap dances aren't even legal in San Diego County. Hell, most clubs don't even let the ladies drop their G-strings on stage. And yet here we are, risking our totally nude butts, just to please the customer. You'd think they'd be grateful. But apparently, no good deed goes unpunished."

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shirleyberan Nov. 26, 2013 @ 12:31 p.m.

Walter - you forgot to describe the patrons, manager and owner; the microbes, the minuscule and a squeak. I'm pretty sure Gloria is done dancing nude.


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