Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Doggy Doo On a Village Woods Balcony

Well, the kooky neighbors are at it again at Village Woods. The upstairs neighbor finally rented her apartment to, wait for it, a weirdo. But before I go on and on about the new weirdo upstairs, I feel the need to explain about the sliding glass doors at Village Woods, as they will be figuring large and loud in to the story...

The sliding glass doors look and act like any sliding glass door from the late 70s. They are heavy and they slide, metal-on-metal, into fairly well-seated groves. The sound, however, is worse than anything the 70s wrought and the 70s wrought a lot of loud noise (Iron Butterfly? Anyone?). Especially over wood-framed ticky-tack with no insulation. "Noise from a sliding glass door? Come on," I hear you saying. To which I answer: come over at about 4:20 a.m. any weekday morning or 5:00 a.m. on weekends and you can hear what it sounds like.

Scratchy metal death. Loud, booming, scratchy metal death. It has awakened me and my wife (who officially wants to have nothing to do with this blog, the other blog or the website) every morning since the new neighbors moved in. At 11:30 p.m. And placed a lot of stuff on the balcony, by opening the sliding-glass-gates-of-hell each time.

Welcome neighbor.

Now we come to the dogs. Oh, dogs. I actually like dogs. I pet them, I scratch behind their ears. I talk baby talk to them, embarrassing their owners and anyone else near enough to hear a grown man talking baby talk to a dog he's never met.

I am 100% sure I would pet, scratch and babble to the dogs upstairs. During regular business hours! The problem is that the neighbor is... how should I put this... retarded, lazy and evil? No, too offensive. Lazy idiot? Yes, that's it.

Evidence? She lets the dogs out to do doo doo on the balcony above me every morning between 4:20 and 5:00 a.m. Four twenty? In the morning!? Are you blankety-blank kidding me? Four twenty in the a.m.? Even the stoners next door are asleep for this 4:20.

And, of course, the glass-sliding-gates-of-hell are what have wakened us from sound slumber each morning since the above-mentioned lazy idiot moved in. Why lazy, you ask? Good question, I answer. Then I expound...

I have never seen or heard those dogs being walked --and I'm a nosy neighbor. Aren't you supposed to walk your dogs in the morning and at night so they do their doo doo at decent hours? If the neighbors upstairs from me did this, they wouldn't have to let the dogs do that doo doo that they do so well on the balcony above me. The wife swears she smelled dog pee this morning. But I would put up with the smell it if the upstairs neighbor weren't also an idiot.

"Idiot," you ask? To which I remind you that I previously called the upstairs neighbor a lazy idiot, not just lazy. And here's how I know. A lazy person would not walk the dogs and then, when they woke her up at, say, FOUR IN THE GODDAMNED MORNING!, she would let them out to poo, pee and click their claws on the balcony. A lazy idiot would open the loud doors-from-hell instead of keeping them open just enough for the dogs to go out. This would keep downstairs neighbor (one with four blogs, a YouTube account and a penchant for performance art) from going dog-doo-crazy on you. And, no, Dog-Doo Crazy On You is not a heavy metal song from the 70s.

But it will be the name of the documentary I'm doing on the lazy idiot from hell upstairs. So stay tuned, kids...

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Antebellum: Janelle Monáe’s Moment

If one must remake a movie, make sure it’s a bad one.
Next Article

La Jolla Elementary alumni

Bruce Robinson, Fred Benedetti, Nickel Creek, Black Licorice, Rob Halford

Well, the kooky neighbors are at it again at Village Woods. The upstairs neighbor finally rented her apartment to, wait for it, a weirdo. But before I go on and on about the new weirdo upstairs, I feel the need to explain about the sliding glass doors at Village Woods, as they will be figuring large and loud in to the story...

The sliding glass doors look and act like any sliding glass door from the late 70s. They are heavy and they slide, metal-on-metal, into fairly well-seated groves. The sound, however, is worse than anything the 70s wrought and the 70s wrought a lot of loud noise (Iron Butterfly? Anyone?). Especially over wood-framed ticky-tack with no insulation. "Noise from a sliding glass door? Come on," I hear you saying. To which I answer: come over at about 4:20 a.m. any weekday morning or 5:00 a.m. on weekends and you can hear what it sounds like.

Scratchy metal death. Loud, booming, scratchy metal death. It has awakened me and my wife (who officially wants to have nothing to do with this blog, the other blog or the website) every morning since the new neighbors moved in. At 11:30 p.m. And placed a lot of stuff on the balcony, by opening the sliding-glass-gates-of-hell each time.

Welcome neighbor.

Now we come to the dogs. Oh, dogs. I actually like dogs. I pet them, I scratch behind their ears. I talk baby talk to them, embarrassing their owners and anyone else near enough to hear a grown man talking baby talk to a dog he's never met.

I am 100% sure I would pet, scratch and babble to the dogs upstairs. During regular business hours! The problem is that the neighbor is... how should I put this... retarded, lazy and evil? No, too offensive. Lazy idiot? Yes, that's it.

Evidence? She lets the dogs out to do doo doo on the balcony above me every morning between 4:20 and 5:00 a.m. Four twenty? In the morning!? Are you blankety-blank kidding me? Four twenty in the a.m.? Even the stoners next door are asleep for this 4:20.

And, of course, the glass-sliding-gates-of-hell are what have wakened us from sound slumber each morning since the above-mentioned lazy idiot moved in. Why lazy, you ask? Good question, I answer. Then I expound...

I have never seen or heard those dogs being walked --and I'm a nosy neighbor. Aren't you supposed to walk your dogs in the morning and at night so they do their doo doo at decent hours? If the neighbors upstairs from me did this, they wouldn't have to let the dogs do that doo doo that they do so well on the balcony above me. The wife swears she smelled dog pee this morning. But I would put up with the smell it if the upstairs neighbor weren't also an idiot.

"Idiot," you ask? To which I remind you that I previously called the upstairs neighbor a lazy idiot, not just lazy. And here's how I know. A lazy person would not walk the dogs and then, when they woke her up at, say, FOUR IN THE GODDAMNED MORNING!, she would let them out to poo, pee and click their claws on the balcony. A lazy idiot would open the loud doors-from-hell instead of keeping them open just enough for the dogs to go out. This would keep downstairs neighbor (one with four blogs, a YouTube account and a penchant for performance art) from going dog-doo-crazy on you. And, no, Dog-Doo Crazy On You is not a heavy metal song from the 70s.

But it will be the name of the documentary I'm doing on the lazy idiot from hell upstairs. So stay tuned, kids...

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Interview fashionista finds comfort in Abercrombie & Fitch, H&M

Claire still believes in wearing pants while working remotely
Next Article

La Jolla Elementary alumni

Bruce Robinson, Fred Benedetti, Nickel Creek, Black Licorice, Rob Halford
Comments
1

K6,

Do you rent or own?

Either way, move ... or deed in lieu/ short sale/ foreclose?

Why be so miserable?

Jan. 3, 2012

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close