Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The Wedding Planner

A while ago, I crashed two parties that were a good distance from each other. Luckily, it was before gas was so damn expensive.

The first event was downtown. It was early, and I knew the second one in Solana Beach would run late.

Tim explained that several wedding DJs were having a networking party. It was a Roaring ’20s–themed party. Tim wore a suit that fit the theme. I wore slacks and a jacket. I thought about borrowing a pocket watch from a friend whose husband collects them, but I forgot.

The backdrops of the name tags were newspaper clippings held by double-sided tape. I wasn’t paying much attention when I put mine on and ended up tearing it to shreds. It was half peeled and dangled from my chest.

I talked with a woman named Shari, who works for Charmed Events. She’s a wedding consultant. I asked her why it was that wedding parties needed consultants. I said, “Other than the premise for some Jennifer Lopez movie, where it gives added drama, is one really necessary? Is it that hard for someone to plan a wedding on their own?” Shari went into detail about how it eliminates the necessity of screening vendors and helps to avoid costly mistakes.

I talked to a few DJs and asked them if they thought live bands resent the fact that DJs have taken a lot of their jobs. One DJ said, “We can work a wedding for $1000 to $1500. A band might want four grand. I think if a couple wants to save money, they shouldn’t hire a wedding consultant, though.”

I thought about sending Shari over to set him straight.

Tim kept working the room, so I didn’t have much time to talk to him. I went and grabbed a drink and a pastry and overheard two women discussing J-Date. I asked what that was, and they told me that it was a dating service for Jewish singles. A joke popped into my head, but I refrained. I heard two other women discussing the costs of a wedding. I asked them what was the average cost these days, and they said $40,000 to $50,000.

As I was taking a picture of an African-American DJ, I heard one guy say, “It’s funny because you see the opposite in clubs: more black DJs. Here there’s only one.” I then overheard a woman say that that DJ was a jerk. I asked her why. “We’ve worked a few weddings together, and he has to run the show. One couple wanted to do their first dance at a certain time, and he wanted it done at a different time. I would tell him something else the couple wanted done, and he wouldn’t want to do it. This happened at two different weddings and then he had the nerve to send me a nasty letter about how I was unprofessional.”

“Doesn’t the couple getting married have the say in all of that?” I asked. “I mean, if they want to hear ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ 25 times in a row, doesn’t the DJ just do that?” She replied, “You’d think. But he doesn’t. He just does what he wants.”

I looked back over at the DJ in question and said, “Oh my God! I know that guy. We worked at the same radio station...and he did the same thing there. He’d play songs that weren’t on the playlist.” I knew bands trying to make it big often ended up playing weddings and bar mitzvahs, but I didn’t realize that that can also happen with radio DJs.

* * *

I drove up to Solana Beach for the party at Beth’s house. I walked into the living room and heard a few women telling a guy that he was a hit with the ladies. Another guy said, “Did you say Mike hit a lady?”

I saw that the food set up on the counter was gone, except for a little bit of dip.

I talked with someone who worked for the U.S. Forest Service. He told me a story about a trap that is used for small animals, such as squirrels. He was using one at his house and caught a skunk that bit his thumb and sprayed everything.

I asked him if tomato juice got rid of the smell. “Nothing did. I left my shoes outside for weeks.”

Someone else mentioned being bitten by a possum. When a woman walked by, someone said, “You have any animal-bite stories?” She said, “Yeah, actually. I reached into a fish tank and got bit.”

The skunk-bite story ended with tetanus shots.

I noticed that a woman sitting on a barstool had a long scar on her knee and asked her about it. She said it was from a shark. She started to talk about the attack. I guess after hearing the previous animal stories and with the recent shark attack in Solana Beach, I was gullible. As her story got outlandish, I called her on it. She admitted that she’d had ACL surgery after a lacrosse injury in high school.

A few guys were leaving, and one told his friend he had to drive. He said, “I can’t, man. I’ll get a DUI. My dad’s been a cop for 30 years. I can’t drive drunk.” His friend replied, “If your dad’s a cop, doesn’t that mean other cops won’t give you tickets?”

There was one girl on the couch asking if any men would give her a massage. I said, “What are men to you? Are we just massage machines? We’re not just pieces of meat for you women! We have feelings. We have needs, too. Sometimes we like to talk and would like for you to get to know us, instead of just giving you massages and getting all physical.” She wasn’t picking up on my sarcasm. Another guy jumped over and said, “I’ll give you a massage!”

He started rubbing her neck and shoulders and she said, “Oh, yeah, that’s great. Now I need someone to wax me,” and she threw a leg over the arm of the couch.

I walked out to the fire pit in the back yard to talk to my friend Meryl. She had just returned from a trip back East to visit relatives.

A woman brought a piece of pie out to her boyfriend and started feeding it to him. I said, “You should be making airplane sounds as you do that.” He said, “It’s mint chocolate. You should try some.” I said, “Okay,” and opened my mouth. She brought her fork over with a piece, laughing, and put it in my mouth.

It was good.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

San Diego Lotharios rejoice at news of mandatory 10 pm nightlife shutdown

Closed Doors = Closed Deals
Next Article

Is Midway the new Soccer City?

Fresh chapter unfolds in San Diego's well-lobbied Sports Arena muddle

A while ago, I crashed two parties that were a good distance from each other. Luckily, it was before gas was so damn expensive.

The first event was downtown. It was early, and I knew the second one in Solana Beach would run late.

Tim explained that several wedding DJs were having a networking party. It was a Roaring ’20s–themed party. Tim wore a suit that fit the theme. I wore slacks and a jacket. I thought about borrowing a pocket watch from a friend whose husband collects them, but I forgot.

The backdrops of the name tags were newspaper clippings held by double-sided tape. I wasn’t paying much attention when I put mine on and ended up tearing it to shreds. It was half peeled and dangled from my chest.

I talked with a woman named Shari, who works for Charmed Events. She’s a wedding consultant. I asked her why it was that wedding parties needed consultants. I said, “Other than the premise for some Jennifer Lopez movie, where it gives added drama, is one really necessary? Is it that hard for someone to plan a wedding on their own?” Shari went into detail about how it eliminates the necessity of screening vendors and helps to avoid costly mistakes.

I talked to a few DJs and asked them if they thought live bands resent the fact that DJs have taken a lot of their jobs. One DJ said, “We can work a wedding for $1000 to $1500. A band might want four grand. I think if a couple wants to save money, they shouldn’t hire a wedding consultant, though.”

I thought about sending Shari over to set him straight.

Tim kept working the room, so I didn’t have much time to talk to him. I went and grabbed a drink and a pastry and overheard two women discussing J-Date. I asked what that was, and they told me that it was a dating service for Jewish singles. A joke popped into my head, but I refrained. I heard two other women discussing the costs of a wedding. I asked them what was the average cost these days, and they said $40,000 to $50,000.

As I was taking a picture of an African-American DJ, I heard one guy say, “It’s funny because you see the opposite in clubs: more black DJs. Here there’s only one.” I then overheard a woman say that that DJ was a jerk. I asked her why. “We’ve worked a few weddings together, and he has to run the show. One couple wanted to do their first dance at a certain time, and he wanted it done at a different time. I would tell him something else the couple wanted done, and he wouldn’t want to do it. This happened at two different weddings and then he had the nerve to send me a nasty letter about how I was unprofessional.”

“Doesn’t the couple getting married have the say in all of that?” I asked. “I mean, if they want to hear ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ 25 times in a row, doesn’t the DJ just do that?” She replied, “You’d think. But he doesn’t. He just does what he wants.”

I looked back over at the DJ in question and said, “Oh my God! I know that guy. We worked at the same radio station...and he did the same thing there. He’d play songs that weren’t on the playlist.” I knew bands trying to make it big often ended up playing weddings and bar mitzvahs, but I didn’t realize that that can also happen with radio DJs.

* * *

I drove up to Solana Beach for the party at Beth’s house. I walked into the living room and heard a few women telling a guy that he was a hit with the ladies. Another guy said, “Did you say Mike hit a lady?”

I saw that the food set up on the counter was gone, except for a little bit of dip.

I talked with someone who worked for the U.S. Forest Service. He told me a story about a trap that is used for small animals, such as squirrels. He was using one at his house and caught a skunk that bit his thumb and sprayed everything.

I asked him if tomato juice got rid of the smell. “Nothing did. I left my shoes outside for weeks.”

Someone else mentioned being bitten by a possum. When a woman walked by, someone said, “You have any animal-bite stories?” She said, “Yeah, actually. I reached into a fish tank and got bit.”

The skunk-bite story ended with tetanus shots.

I noticed that a woman sitting on a barstool had a long scar on her knee and asked her about it. She said it was from a shark. She started to talk about the attack. I guess after hearing the previous animal stories and with the recent shark attack in Solana Beach, I was gullible. As her story got outlandish, I called her on it. She admitted that she’d had ACL surgery after a lacrosse injury in high school.

A few guys were leaving, and one told his friend he had to drive. He said, “I can’t, man. I’ll get a DUI. My dad’s been a cop for 30 years. I can’t drive drunk.” His friend replied, “If your dad’s a cop, doesn’t that mean other cops won’t give you tickets?”

There was one girl on the couch asking if any men would give her a massage. I said, “What are men to you? Are we just massage machines? We’re not just pieces of meat for you women! We have feelings. We have needs, too. Sometimes we like to talk and would like for you to get to know us, instead of just giving you massages and getting all physical.” She wasn’t picking up on my sarcasm. Another guy jumped over and said, “I’ll give you a massage!”

He started rubbing her neck and shoulders and she said, “Oh, yeah, that’s great. Now I need someone to wax me,” and she threw a leg over the arm of the couch.

I walked out to the fire pit in the back yard to talk to my friend Meryl. She had just returned from a trip back East to visit relatives.

A woman brought a piece of pie out to her boyfriend and started feeding it to him. I said, “You should be making airplane sounds as you do that.” He said, “It’s mint chocolate. You should try some.” I said, “Okay,” and opened my mouth. She brought her fork over with a piece, laughing, and put it in my mouth.

It was good.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

John Harris: editor of one of the first English dictionaries

Known as a man of science as a man of faith
Next Article

Luna Bay Booch's San Diego origin story

Woman owned hard kombucha brand brewed elsewhere, now sold locally
Comments
2

The only reason I read the READER is to see what the CRASHER has been up too. I really enjoy attending all these parties through his eyes. Does he ever get tired???? Sometimes the articles get long but there still a good read.

June 27, 2008

The articles are never that long CV. My editor makes sure of that!

July 6, 2008

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer News — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close