Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

A Charmed Life

Title: A Charmed Life Address: http://acharmedlife.typepad.com/a_charmed_life/ Author: Debbie Angelo From: Escondido Blogging since: March 2006 Post Date: May 16, 2007

Post Title: Wardrobe, Malfunction So things are going as well as I can make them here. The house is a sight, and I have to make a vet appointment to put Dad's cat down this week. But what really got the sobfest going was when Dad sprung on me that he'd like me to clean out my mom's huge walk-in closet. Surrounded by her clothes and the smell of her perfume, my heart started hammering and I started punching numbers into my cell phone until I got someone to answer theirs so I could chat while sorting and not think about what I was doing. (M., thank you!) Suffice it to say that I slept in her old bathrobe Monday night.

Post Date: May 2, 2007

Post Title: Food for Thought, Redux I didn't get to have many friends as a kid, moving around as often as we did, so I'm not sure what the "average" American child had for dinner. But I'm sure that the standard meal for the Nielsen-type household wasn't tongue. I clearly remember seeing a slab of meat covered in taste buds, sitting on my plate, accompanied by a tomato sauce with pine nuts and dill in it. It took me years to touch pine nuts or dill after that, and for a long time I was convinced I never wanted to French-kiss a boy. Oh, when I brought the subject of this revolting repast up to my mother years later, she clucked her...tongue, actually...at me, and said, "That wasn't tongue! That was tripe!" Oh, MUCH better.

Post Date: December 5, 2006

Post Title: I Should Have Pruned My Dates The following are actual sentences spoken to me during my less-than-stellar dating career: 1. "Let's just go Dutch... How about I put five bucks in... Can you get it this time?" (Unemployed loser)

2. "She [old college flame] was the sportscar every guy wants to drive. You're the station wagon that they actually buy!" (Intended as a compliment, believe it or not!)

3. "I thought we could just lie here and admire each other." (ex-husband, then-boyfriend, on not doing ANYTHING for our first Valentine's Day together.)

4. "Let's keep dancing and maybe nobody will notice" (college BF, breaking up with me at the only formal dance I've ever been to, having mistakenly led me out onto the floor to the opening strains of "Bohemian Rhapsody.")

5. "Not tonight sweetie, I want to be here in the morning so I can make my mother coffee." (Do I really need to fill in the accurate stereotype here or can everyone guess?)

6. "Let's walk across the [George Washington] bridge [in the middle of January], it'll be romantic and save us four bucks."

7. "You're becoming an obsession." (Ding ding ding! Hello, time to make like a banana and split!)

Post Date: September 27, 2006

Post Title: From There to Here Picture it: northern New Jersey, 1993. I'm a college student, working my way through a bachelor's in biology by also working full-time at a jeweler's at a local shopping mall. It's been a long day, and my car is parked farther away than normal, outside the food court. I exit through the first set of doors where there is a bank of payphones, and am about to go through the second set when I hear one of the phones start ringing. There's a guy about my age sitting on the floor underneath the phone, obviously waiting for his ride, and I ask if the call is for him. He rolls his eyes and tells me that it's some weirdo who crank calls the phone every ten minutes hoping that a woman will answer and have phone sex with him. I decide that I need to have a little fun, so I pick up the phone myself. Me: "Wayne Morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em."

Weirdo: "Why'd you answer like that? [voice lowers seductively] Hi, I'm Frank. What are you wearing?"

Me: "I'm wearing a lab coat. I'm studying biology."

Weirdo: "Ooh, a college

student..."

Me: "Yeah. I learned about plagues today. Did you know that the Black Death is still around? And that when you get it, you get these huge black lumps filled with pus under your arms and in your groin? But don't worry, you die pretty quickly after that. At least it's not like ebola. That makes your eyes bleed."

Amazingly, Frank listened to me for at least another minute before hanging up the phone. The guy sitting on the floor was busting a gut laughing. He asked me how I'd ever come up with that idea and told me that "Frank" would probably call back in another ten minutes. I waited 15, and sure enough, the phone rang again.

Me: "Hellooo?"

Frank: "Hi, I'm Frank. What are you wearing?"

Me: "Frank! You hung up on me! That's very rude. I was just about to tell you about elephantiasis. That's a lymph infection where your balls get to be the size of a laundry basket. Don't worry, though, it's pretty rare. But syphillis is pretty common. Did you know, you can get it and think it's gone away and it can come back into your brain years later and make you crazy? Are you crazy, Frank?"

Frank: [sputtering] "I...I... I'm losing my erection!"

Me: ??!!!

Frank: "You're sick, did you know that? Really, really sick! I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?

Me: "I do, actually. Want me to describe him?"

Frank: click

So much for a future career as a phone-sex operator. Or a hostage negotiator. Or a suicide-hotline volunteer. But I'm a real hit at parties.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego’s biennial Art Auction, La Mesa Oktoberfest, Keep Rockin’ Fest

Events October 1-October 3, 2020

Title: A Charmed Life Address: http://acharmedlife.typepad.com/a_charmed_life/ Author: Debbie Angelo From: Escondido Blogging since: March 2006 Post Date: May 16, 2007

Post Title: Wardrobe, Malfunction So things are going as well as I can make them here. The house is a sight, and I have to make a vet appointment to put Dad's cat down this week. But what really got the sobfest going was when Dad sprung on me that he'd like me to clean out my mom's huge walk-in closet. Surrounded by her clothes and the smell of her perfume, my heart started hammering and I started punching numbers into my cell phone until I got someone to answer theirs so I could chat while sorting and not think about what I was doing. (M., thank you!) Suffice it to say that I slept in her old bathrobe Monday night.

Post Date: May 2, 2007

Post Title: Food for Thought, Redux I didn't get to have many friends as a kid, moving around as often as we did, so I'm not sure what the "average" American child had for dinner. But I'm sure that the standard meal for the Nielsen-type household wasn't tongue. I clearly remember seeing a slab of meat covered in taste buds, sitting on my plate, accompanied by a tomato sauce with pine nuts and dill in it. It took me years to touch pine nuts or dill after that, and for a long time I was convinced I never wanted to French-kiss a boy. Oh, when I brought the subject of this revolting repast up to my mother years later, she clucked her...tongue, actually...at me, and said, "That wasn't tongue! That was tripe!" Oh, MUCH better.

Post Date: December 5, 2006

Post Title: I Should Have Pruned My Dates The following are actual sentences spoken to me during my less-than-stellar dating career: 1. "Let's just go Dutch... How about I put five bucks in... Can you get it this time?" (Unemployed loser)

2. "She [old college flame] was the sportscar every guy wants to drive. You're the station wagon that they actually buy!" (Intended as a compliment, believe it or not!)

3. "I thought we could just lie here and admire each other." (ex-husband, then-boyfriend, on not doing ANYTHING for our first Valentine's Day together.)

4. "Let's keep dancing and maybe nobody will notice" (college BF, breaking up with me at the only formal dance I've ever been to, having mistakenly led me out onto the floor to the opening strains of "Bohemian Rhapsody.")

5. "Not tonight sweetie, I want to be here in the morning so I can make my mother coffee." (Do I really need to fill in the accurate stereotype here or can everyone guess?)

6. "Let's walk across the [George Washington] bridge [in the middle of January], it'll be romantic and save us four bucks."

7. "You're becoming an obsession." (Ding ding ding! Hello, time to make like a banana and split!)

Post Date: September 27, 2006

Post Title: From There to Here Picture it: northern New Jersey, 1993. I'm a college student, working my way through a bachelor's in biology by also working full-time at a jeweler's at a local shopping mall. It's been a long day, and my car is parked farther away than normal, outside the food court. I exit through the first set of doors where there is a bank of payphones, and am about to go through the second set when I hear one of the phones start ringing. There's a guy about my age sitting on the floor underneath the phone, obviously waiting for his ride, and I ask if the call is for him. He rolls his eyes and tells me that it's some weirdo who crank calls the phone every ten minutes hoping that a woman will answer and have phone sex with him. I decide that I need to have a little fun, so I pick up the phone myself. Me: "Wayne Morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em."

Weirdo: "Why'd you answer like that? [voice lowers seductively] Hi, I'm Frank. What are you wearing?"

Me: "I'm wearing a lab coat. I'm studying biology."

Weirdo: "Ooh, a college

student..."

Me: "Yeah. I learned about plagues today. Did you know that the Black Death is still around? And that when you get it, you get these huge black lumps filled with pus under your arms and in your groin? But don't worry, you die pretty quickly after that. At least it's not like ebola. That makes your eyes bleed."

Amazingly, Frank listened to me for at least another minute before hanging up the phone. The guy sitting on the floor was busting a gut laughing. He asked me how I'd ever come up with that idea and told me that "Frank" would probably call back in another ten minutes. I waited 15, and sure enough, the phone rang again.

Me: "Hellooo?"

Frank: "Hi, I'm Frank. What are you wearing?"

Me: "Frank! You hung up on me! That's very rude. I was just about to tell you about elephantiasis. That's a lymph infection where your balls get to be the size of a laundry basket. Don't worry, though, it's pretty rare. But syphillis is pretty common. Did you know, you can get it and think it's gone away and it can come back into your brain years later and make you crazy? Are you crazy, Frank?"

Frank: [sputtering] "I...I... I'm losing my erection!"

Me: ??!!!

Frank: "You're sick, did you know that? Really, really sick! I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?

Me: "I do, actually. Want me to describe him?"

Frank: click

So much for a future career as a phone-sex operator. Or a hostage negotiator. Or a suicide-hotline volunteer. But I'm a real hit at parties.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Religion in Christmas movies, Yellow Deli a cult?, San DIego Sikhs, Christmas without Jesus, Hare Krishnas

San Diego spiritual
Next Article

Good-bye, easy walking to Del Mar beach

Fencing to be built along train tracks on bluffs
Comments
0

Be the first to leave a comment.

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close