Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Brian M. Palmer in Long Beach

Nukkles

I would have never guessed that the massage of my life would be at the hands of an elderly entrepreneur suffering from a case of dandruff, but sometimes life surprises you. I was at a new age-y flea market in Encinitas that appeared to attract both the insane and the inventive in equal numbers when the old guy reeled me in. Just prior, I had been listening to a woman from Ghana speak at length about the restorative qualities of three-dimensional crystals. She claimed that her crystals were made by an intense and mysterious process involving two things. I had no idea what those two things could be, but I can say with assurance that I was not expecting lasers and magic. But that's what she said. As far as I could tell, she was correct in calling the crystals three-dimensional because they were objects, but aside from that, I could not discern any special powers. I had a little chuckle, and when she began to bore rather than amaze, I decided it was best to move on. That was when I heard a voice calling to me, "Son, come over here and check this out." I looked over to see a trim, sprightly old man with bone-white hair and a blue fleece jacket.

Sponsored
Sponsored

"Your hands ever get tired after a massage?" he queried. I thought about it for a second. I couldn't recall the last time I had given a massage, nor whether my hands were tired afterward, but I decided to indulge him and replied, "Yes, sometimes they do." That was when he started telling me about the funny-looking pieces of plastic lined up on a table in front of him that resembled neon dog turds. He had christened them "Nukkles," and, according to him, they were a marvelous advance in the field of massage.

"You only have to use the palm of your hand. Here, turn around for a second," he ordered. I had a feeling what was coming next, but he was so cordial and grandfatherly that I thought it would be rude to protest. So I dutifully turned around, and the old guy went to work on my back with his hot pink, injection-molded plastic. I have to admit, it felt pretty good. His aged hands worked deftly with the Nukkles, and I noticed all the tension in my back beginning to melt away. "Do you want me to press any harder?" he asked. I did want him to press harder. As he forced the dimpled plastic further into my back, I became so relaxed that I momentarily forgot both who and where I was. I closed my eyes, saw a flash of white, and suddenly my back unclenched like a fist.

When I finally came to, my first sight was of the man smiling at me, holding out the Nukkles for me to try. He suggested I massage my legs: "Those are my sore spot, especially after a long walk." As I began to massage my calf muscle, he suggested I press harder. I took his advice and kneaded my right leg as if it were an unresponsive glob of pizza dough. When I finished, he had a look of approval on his face and said, "You're getting the hang of it."

That was when he turned around, proffering his back to my Nukkle-equipped hands. It was a situation that I could see coming a mile away. Time seemed to stop for a second as I stood there studying his back. His jacket and collar were littered with pieces of what I could only assume were dry scalp. The dandruff snow looked to have fallen recently. I took the Nukkles and half-heartedly ran them along his shoulders, ever vigilant to stay far away from the dandruff. "Press harder! Like you did on your leg," he instructed. I obliged and pressed firmly into his stooped shoulders. After a brief time, he turned back around and said, "You know how when you were younger and your mom would rub your head? These are great for that. Go on, give it a try, it feels great!" I looked down at the plastic in my hands and noticed it was covered in white. "No thanks," I said as I set the Nukkles down and backed away from the table, "I have dandruff."

http://www.brianmpalmer.com/blog/

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

A history of the house on the hill at Ivanhoe Ranch

From Apolinaria Lorenzana to Jane Goodall
Next Article

Live Five: Andrew Peña, Frankie J, Beat Farmers, Jesse LaMonaca, Puddles Pity Party

Latin, roots rock, and pity parties in Mission Beach, Little Italy, El Cajon

Nukkles

I would have never guessed that the massage of my life would be at the hands of an elderly entrepreneur suffering from a case of dandruff, but sometimes life surprises you. I was at a new age-y flea market in Encinitas that appeared to attract both the insane and the inventive in equal numbers when the old guy reeled me in. Just prior, I had been listening to a woman from Ghana speak at length about the restorative qualities of three-dimensional crystals. She claimed that her crystals were made by an intense and mysterious process involving two things. I had no idea what those two things could be, but I can say with assurance that I was not expecting lasers and magic. But that's what she said. As far as I could tell, she was correct in calling the crystals three-dimensional because they were objects, but aside from that, I could not discern any special powers. I had a little chuckle, and when she began to bore rather than amaze, I decided it was best to move on. That was when I heard a voice calling to me, "Son, come over here and check this out." I looked over to see a trim, sprightly old man with bone-white hair and a blue fleece jacket.

Sponsored
Sponsored

"Your hands ever get tired after a massage?" he queried. I thought about it for a second. I couldn't recall the last time I had given a massage, nor whether my hands were tired afterward, but I decided to indulge him and replied, "Yes, sometimes they do." That was when he started telling me about the funny-looking pieces of plastic lined up on a table in front of him that resembled neon dog turds. He had christened them "Nukkles," and, according to him, they were a marvelous advance in the field of massage.

"You only have to use the palm of your hand. Here, turn around for a second," he ordered. I had a feeling what was coming next, but he was so cordial and grandfatherly that I thought it would be rude to protest. So I dutifully turned around, and the old guy went to work on my back with his hot pink, injection-molded plastic. I have to admit, it felt pretty good. His aged hands worked deftly with the Nukkles, and I noticed all the tension in my back beginning to melt away. "Do you want me to press any harder?" he asked. I did want him to press harder. As he forced the dimpled plastic further into my back, I became so relaxed that I momentarily forgot both who and where I was. I closed my eyes, saw a flash of white, and suddenly my back unclenched like a fist.

When I finally came to, my first sight was of the man smiling at me, holding out the Nukkles for me to try. He suggested I massage my legs: "Those are my sore spot, especially after a long walk." As I began to massage my calf muscle, he suggested I press harder. I took his advice and kneaded my right leg as if it were an unresponsive glob of pizza dough. When I finished, he had a look of approval on his face and said, "You're getting the hang of it."

That was when he turned around, proffering his back to my Nukkle-equipped hands. It was a situation that I could see coming a mile away. Time seemed to stop for a second as I stood there studying his back. His jacket and collar were littered with pieces of what I could only assume were dry scalp. The dandruff snow looked to have fallen recently. I took the Nukkles and half-heartedly ran them along his shoulders, ever vigilant to stay far away from the dandruff. "Press harder! Like you did on your leg," he instructed. I obliged and pressed firmly into his stooped shoulders. After a brief time, he turned back around and said, "You know how when you were younger and your mom would rub your head? These are great for that. Go on, give it a try, it feels great!" I looked down at the plastic in my hands and noticed it was covered in white. "No thanks," I said as I set the Nukkles down and backed away from the table, "I have dandruff."

http://www.brianmpalmer.com/blog/

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Born & Raised offers a less decadent Holiday Punch

Cognac serves to lighten the mood
Next Article

National City to junk permissive land-use code

Airbnb regs would be like Chula Vista's
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader